Chocolate Covered Daydreams

On Being...Still

2012-01-26T12:27:00.000-08:00

When I am still, there is usually something wrong with me. I'm NEVER still. Even when I'm asleep, my mind isn't still. It races. Here's a peek at some of the thoughts floating around in my head at night:

Why does my chest hurt? What is wrong with me? Am I dying?

I wonder if the guy that lived here before us, died here?

What the heck was he thinking?

I wonder if the cellphone bill was paid for this month?

What is Mooshu dreaming about?

Am I going bald?

What is so hard about cleaning up after yourself?

How big is the rat that's climbing around in the attic? Will he chew his way through to our bedroom?

Hostess is going bankrupt?

As you can see, most of those thoughts are randomly dumb and they are enough to exhaust me!

The last two weeks have been a wake up call for me to be still. I haven't found out the source of my heart pains and other symptoms. The less I know, the more worried I am. I need answers but I also need to be still. I have lost count of how many people have now scolded me and reminded me to be still.

My confession for today....I don't know how to be still. I am restless when just lying here in bed. I feel guilty, worried, uncertain, horrible and anxious.

But, if being still means that I am going to be back to ME again, then still I will be.

I was thinking about when my twin sis and I were little. We didn't know how to be still back then either. One time, we were at a department store and the curiosity got the best of me and I touched the store mannequin and she fell and her HEAD fell off and rolled. Both my sis and I started to cry. My mom did her best to console us but the painful view of the headless lady was etched in my mind. If only I had been still.

Another time, I was in a railroad museum. I was intrigued by a machine that was used to crank the wheels. The sign clearly said, "Do not touch" and it was behind a velvet rope. My hands literally itched from wanting to turn the crank! I looked around to see if anyone was watching (not realizing that there were surveillance cameras) and touched. No sooner had I reached for the handle when a part fell off and hit the floor. I was on my hands and knees scrambling to pick up the part and to find a way to stick it back on without getting kicked out of the museum. I failed at being able to figure out where the part came from so I laid it next to the handle and walked quickly away. A few minutes later, I found the right time to exit but not before catching all eyes on me.

The moral of the story is that no matter how often I fail at being still, there is One who is continually whispering in my ear, "Be still. I am here."

Being still means, not only quieting my hands and feet, but my mind. It means emptying out every single thought circling around in my head. Is Hostess really worth my thoughts? Is the rat that's stomping around in the attic really a cause for concern? (I think so but I'm trying to be still, remember?) So, I'm trying and hopefully, doing my best to be still.

Will you join me in being still? I sure could use some company!

Things I've Learned Thursday

2012-01-19T20:33:00.000-08:00

This is not going to be your typical TILT. This week has been an 11 on a scale of 1 - 10. It started out with being sick with what seemed like a cold but turned into an asthma problem which went into a heart episode. I like to pretend that I'm a hypochondriac with J just to get his reaction to my made up illnesses but this is one of those times when I couldn't make it up.

Long story short...slightly enlarged heart, EKG, nitro pills, blood pressure meds....4 days of missed work, tons of worried people and an appointment with a cardiologist in the near future has been the gist of it all.

It has taught me something though...

1) When J says "no" he means "no" as in, "No, you're not going to work." or "No, you're not driving yourself to the doctor's appointment."

2) A simple compliment takes away the feeling of being uncomfortable. I cringed when the technician needed to put the electrodes on my chest. I hate revealing the scars (talked about in another post wayyyy back when). Instead of waiting for her to ask about the scars, she said, "You have such gorgeous skin! I love your skin tone!" I instantly relaxed.

3) Nitro glycerin tablets burn when placed under the tongue. Sort of resembles putting a lit firecracker under the tongue.

4) When I think I'm hearing a car with a loud bass thumping, it's not, it's really my heart beating loudly in my ears.

5) I will take every symptom I feel, seriously.

6) I am LOVED!!!

7) Hearing J tell me for the billionth time that he's here and not going anywhere makes me feel like I'm the luckiest woman alive.

8) My daughters are going to come over to babysit...ME. Can you believe it? I'm being babysat?

9) My doctor is the most eccentric doctor I've ever met. She reminds me a little of the absent minded professor but in a good way. I owe her for taking two hours to examine and treat me. Not once did she show that she had someplace else she'd rather be.

10) I am so thankful to work at a place where I am truly missed and where they really care about me!

What have you learned?

Brokeness on the Mend

2012-01-17T13:03:00.000-08:00

When I was growing up, parents had plastic on couches and baubles and trinkets and breakables everywhere. They didn't believe in moving things because the kids were taught "do not touch" at an early age.

One day, Twin2 and I were horsing around in the living room, a sacred place where we were told, was made for sitting and keeping neat and clean. (Obviously, my mom wasn't around or else there is no way we would've been in there in the first place.) Somehow, someone (probably Twin2) kicked over a tall vase/bauble that sat on an end table. It fell on the carpet and broke. I remember how all of a sudden, everything moved in slow motion. All I could think about was the spanking we were both going to get. But, with a little bit of brainstorming, and lots of Elmer's glue, we somehow put the tall monstrosity together again...minus a slightly small chip that we never found. We placed the vase back on the end table and turned it so that the best side was showing.

I remember the feeling of relief when my mom would pass by the bauble and not notice where it was glued together. That is, until one day, she yelled, "Who broke my vase!!!???" I remember feeling flushed and looking at my sister for help. There was no lying to get out of it. The obvious had hit us square in the face.

We were punished, I'm sure, for breaking the vase. I have no idea how we thought we could pretend that something broken was like new.

Life is like that too. Both J and I come from past marriages where there was brokenness. Together, we have come to realize that in order for our marriage to "make it", we have to acknowledge the brokenness from the past. Sure, it can be glued and we can pretend as if there weren't issues that needed to be dealt with but that would only mean bringing some of those damaged areas into our relationship now. So, together we have learned to do the following:

Talk, talk, talk so more about the past so that healing can take place and our relationship will not hit those same hardships.
Look at things from a realistic view. When things seem to be out of control and out of our hands, we need reinforcement. Reinforcement from God, family, friendship, fellowship and time alone.
Honesty - complete honesty. The biggest catalyst to a break in a marriage is the "little white lie". The "little white lie" may be thought to be little, but it is like a spark that can be the cause of a huge forest fire. Talk about feelings, disappointments, fear and longings and listen, really listen to what is being said.
Own up to your mistakes. Blame pushing has become the norm to most relationships. It's so easy to say, "Yeah, if you hadn't done "this or that" then I wouldn't have done what I did." Take responsibility and practice saying (even if it's alone or in front of a mirror) "I was wrong."
Look on the inside. It's easy to see something from the outside but try eating an Oreo cookie from the outside, while trying to to save the inside....not possible. Sometimes, you have to work your way from the inside out. Not everything is as it appears to be. Go deeper and explore. There are treasures waiting to be opened.
Just "be". J and I were driving the other day and the radio was background noise. Finally, he asked, "Does it bother you when I don't have anything to say?" I looked at him and said, "Sometimes, words aren't needed when we're together." I mean that. I have found joy in just being.
Forgive. Both ex-spouses will be a part of our lives as long as there are children involved. Recognizing that what existed then, no longer exists now. Let go of anger, sadness, hurt, and devastation. Embrace moving forward. What used to be no longer is.

Although the broken/mended vase is long gone by now, I'm thankful for the reminder of it. It has taught me that in my brokenness there is hope.

Wife Swapped

2012-01-06T15:38:00.001-08:00

Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. Proverbs 5:18

I admit that I have a problem. I have a hard time seeing myself as a fountain of blessing when at times, I'm more like a slow leak. Sure, J reassures me that he loves me and that his life is richer, fuller, happier since our hearts have been smooshed together.

But, after watching Celebrity Wife Swap this week, I wondered what it would be like if J "swapped" me out for a week. What is amazing about the wives that are swapped is that there is usually one gem (maybe more) that they possess that enriches the other family.

Leaving home in the stretch limo to a place unknown, would J cry and pound his fists on the ground, begging me not to leave or would he smile and say, "Take your time. Enjoy. We'll still be here."? Would the moment the "new wife" walked into our home, would she be greeted and surprised by what she saw or would she say, "Oh Lord, help me! I've walked into a landmine!" Would the bonus kids look forward to not having to be meticulously neat while the "swapped" wife sprayed silly string throughout the house, let them eat ice cream for breakfast and dyed the dogs hair pink?

What about the house that welcomes me as their "swapped wife and mom"? Would they adore me or scream, "I can't wait until my mom gets home" or "What is THAT you're cooking? I'm not eating that!" Would I end up on my knees scrubbing roach juice off the floor or riding a bull in a rodeo?

What I'd hope to learn is that although I may not always measure up or meet everyone's expectations, I am who I am - a work in progress. I don't walk in others shoes easily. In fact, I can barely walk in my own without biting the dust.

But, I've grown up to discover that I'll never know the thrill of flying unless I face the fear of falling. In other words, I've got to be me.

When the limo arrives back at my house, I guarantee, J will be there waiting with a bouquet of roses in his hands.

Expecting the Unexpected

2012-01-02T21:31:00.000-08:00

Last year, 2011, brought some pretty exciting, unexpected adventures. I jumped into some challenges head on, while others, I was tempted to run for cover - but I survived.

This year, I'm inspired by possibilities yet seen. There's so much that I desire in my life and there's no resolution in the world that will guarantee that those desires will come to pass unless, I'm ready to expect the unexpected.

One thing for sure is that I am much harder on myself than I should be. So, this year I will not call myself names. I tend to do that...names like "idiot" "dummy" "nerd". As a man thinks, so is he soooooo...

So what if the scale growls when I step on...I will growl back, even louder.

I will not set myself up for failure. If I don't accomplish something that I've tried my very best to do, I will pat myself on the back for at least trying.

I will not fear experiencing new neighborhoods, new friends, new recipes, new music or anything new. Change is good. CHANGE is good. Change IS good. Change is GOOD!!!

I will set aside two days a week for learning something...anything, new. I refuse to let this brain slow down. I'm going to build, construct, read, write, explore, figure, compute and create.

I'm going to breathe more. That means, taking in my surroundings and really seeing, hearing and noticing what is there.

I want to embrace my taste and style, humor, talent, faith and beliefs and love with wild abandonment.

Most of all, I will take each day as it comes. Just because the day starts out bad doesn't mean that it's going to be a bad day. It just means that I need to get through it with eyes wide open.

How about you? Are you ready to expect the unexpected?

Things I've Learned Thursday

2011-12-29T18:49:00.000-08:00

1) I have foot in mouth disease. I often say things that come out way different than intended. Case in point, I was at the grocery store the other day, searching for the nuts. There was a grocery clerk stocking shelves and he asked, "Can I help you?" My reply??? "Can you show me your nuts?" Seriously! That is what came out of my mouth. Poor guy. He stood up, red in the face and stuttered, "I think, umm, I think, oh, they're over there." Ten seconds later, it sunk it. I had asked him to show me his nuts!

2) Curling irons should only be operated with a hazmat suit. While curling my hair, (wand right next to face) the curling iron exploded. I saw a huge flame and electrical current right before my eyes. I'm surprised I didn't wet my pants. But, thankfully, the only thing that it did was blow out the circuit.

3) The greatest Christmas surprise was knowing that my twin sister will be coming out in February, thanks to her daughter giving her the gift of an airplane ticket.

4) Next year, Santa J will NOT be spending 33 dollars plus on candy for the stockings. Almost two weeks of sugar rush kids...not cool!

5) I love, love, love that J bought me the collector's edition of the Little Rascals. There's nothing like some Rascals to make me smile.

6) Marcus Camby of the Portland Trailblazers is germphobic. How can a pro basketball player be afraid of germs when sweaty hands are all over the ball??

7) My next invention will be oil for shoes to prevent fart sounds from happening with every footstep.

8) I look forward to the first of the year when burn out from sweets and junk food has me running for good and healthy food.

9) My daughters may be all grown up but they are still my kids.

10) I really mean it when I wish someone a happy new year.

What have you learned?

Things I've Learned Thursday - Christmas Edition

2011-12-22T16:36:00.000-08:00

1) You don't have to be a kid to be excited about Christmas!

2) Wake up calls can be in any form. In my case, it was driving down a one way street the wrong way, at night and not realizing it until I saw tons of headlights headed my way. Basically, I lived through one of my greatest fears. (Thank you God!)

3) Not everyone is meant to make Christmas platters for Christmas. I tasted a cookie at an unnamed place (to protect the innocent) that tasted like perfume and hay. All I could do was swallow it quickly and comment, "That was delicious!"

4) What a difference a state makes! In California, at all the places that I worked, I was given the "don't wish people a 'Merry Christmas' so you won't offend those that don't celebrate...yada yada." Here in Oregon, EVERYONE says, "Merry Christmas!"

5) Every year, I've eaten so many cookies and candy that by Christmas, I'm totally "sweeted" out. That's a good thing too. I have had cookies, fudge and peanut brittle and popcorn for breakfast! Yuck. Come on veggies!

6) Wait a couple of days before saying, "I'm amazed, the puppy, Mooshu, didn't even touch a single ornament!" Six ornaments tossed and a few days later....

7) Shopping online for Christmas is a sanity saver!

8) Must be the hormones but listening to Christmas music this year makes my eyes fill up with tears.

9) Reflecting on Jesus birth, it must've been such a trip to be the mother of Jesus. Not only that, can you imagine having Jesus as a little brother?

10) It is my prayer that you all will have a joyous Christmas celebration with family and friends. Merry Christmas, my friends!

What have you learned?

These Are A Few of My Favorite Things

2011-12-14T20:30:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite movies during the holidays is the Sound of Music. Of all the songs that are featured, These Are a Few of My Favorite Things is one of my "favorites". It always inspires me to think of some of my favorite things and here they are for this year....

1) Being called, Babe, Honey, Sweetheart, Mommy, Mamasan and Momo.

2) Frozen sour gummy worms

3) Oregon Ducks football

4) J reaching over to hold my hand when we sleep.

5) the beauty of the Northwest

6) oatmeal for breakfast

7) talking to my dad about sports

8) Surprise text messages

9) My puppies dancing for joy when they greet me at the door

10) Poppycock

What are some of your favorite things?

Homemade Christmas

2011-12-11T21:51:00.000-08:00

My favorite way to celebrate Christmas is with the family. This year is even more special because the family has gotten bigger. There's now 10 of us to spend time together, simply enjoying each other's company.

Of course it wouldn't be any fun unless there were Christmas crafts thrown in.

I planned out 5 different ornaments to make. The dining room turned into a diy craft party.

I lost count of how many times we all laughed. We painted, glittered, glued, wrapped and cut until masterpieces were created.

I have a feeling that this is the start of a tradition!

Simply Simple Christmas

2011-12-04T21:25:00.000-08:00

The other day, J told me this story....

Once upon a time, there was a greedy puppy who had a steak. He was walking along when he came to a glassy pond. He peered into the pond and saw the puppy with the steak. He went to grab the steak from the other puppy and lost his steak in the pond. That's the story of the greedy puppy.

The moral of this story is to be happy with what you have.

How does this tie into a simply simple Christmas? Out of all the things that exist during the holiday season, there are those people who will lose sight of what they have in order to get what they don't need....just like that greedy puppy.

In a small town in Boston, many, many, many years ago, (1669 to be exact) the Puritans decided to abolish Christmas after they saw how instead of the celebrating the birth of Jesus, people became selfish and out of control. For 22 years, Christmas was abolished and December 25th was a day like any other day.

My mind wandered as I thought about this. Was the celebration missed? Did people feel like there was something missing in their lives because they were Christmas-less? In my opinion, it would be like knowing that someone special's birthday was on that particular day but not being able to acknowledge or celebrate the specialness that that person brings to your life.

They basically lost their focus!

If that time existed now, I'd be a bit...no, more than a bit, I'd be totally bummed. No celebrating Christ's birth? No Christmas carols? No time to spend with family and friends? No opportunities to give and to do random acts of kindness? What about the joy and excitement that fills the air? Would that be gone as well?

I have to admit though, that I wouldn't miss the commercialism of Christmas. It's gotten way out of control. In West Virginia, a dear man had a heart attack on Black Friday and while he lay on the floor in Target, people stepped over him to get the best deals. That's pathetic and sad.

I want to feel Christ in my Christmas. I want to feel the joy of knowing that there's so much more to Christmas than wanting and getting. The greatest joy is in giving...and giving comes in many ways.

A few years ago, I gave a few ideas about keeping Christmas simple and some of this will be a repeat but here goes...

1) Make it special by MAKING something special. I would much rather have something made by my family and friends than something bought. Just knowing that time and effort was spent to put a smile on my face is priceless.

2) Start a family tradition. When my daughters were young, I started a Christmas craft/sleepover for them. They got to choose one friend to invite. I found ornament ideas and of course, the finale was each of them making their very own gingerbread house. They also played games like "snowball/cotton ball races" and had a whipped cream fight (outside of course). Now that my daughters are older and I have a son in law and soon to be son in law and bonus kids, and of course, my J, we're going to get together and have a blast making ornaments, singing Christmas carols and just spending time together.

3) Look for ways to do random acts of kindness for the next 21 days, leading up to Christmas. Write a journal of each "RAOC" to look back on the very next year.

4) As a family, vote for someone that has been influential or a very important part of your life as a family for this year. Make a card declaring them the "person of the year" and give them a special gift, telling them how much they've meant to you as a family throughout the year. It can be a teacher, pastor, post man, hair dresser....anyone that has brought joy into your life in a special way.

5) On the night before Christmas, go for a Christmas light drive. The house that you as a family vote for as being "the best" will be given a card (left at their doorstep) and food donated to a homeless shelter in their honor.

6) When baking cookies and candy, make an extra platter to take to an assisted living or homeless shelter.

7) Have a thrifty gift giving Christmas. The rule is that anything you buy must be bought at a thrift store. Not only do you save money but also come up with some pretty interesting and unique gifts.

8) Give the gift of yourself. If you know of someone that needs help with carpooling kiddos to dance practice or babysitting or mowing the lawn, give them personalized gift certificates.

9) For a family that loves ice cream for instance, give them a basket with an ice cream scoop, dishes and ice cream and a certificate for a flavor to be delivered to them each month for the next 12 months.

10) Go in search of items that you either have doubles of (coffee pots, plants, toys, books, shoes....etc.) and have a swap right before Christmas. You may be surprised that someone is willing to give up a never used Wii system for an electronic keyboard that hasn't been played.

Most of all....keep it simple, sweetie! KISS!!

Mystery Solved

2011-11-29T21:23:00.000-08:00

Sleepless nights....

tossing...

turning...

wondering if the creature was going to crawl or stomp on my face....

instead, he was caught red handed.

I opened the door to the attic storage to "show" Jarebear Boo what the creature had been doing. I pointed to his destruction while she peered over my shoulder. All of a sudden, before our very eyes, the biggest, humongous rat peeked up over the nativity he was busy preparing for demolition. He had the nerve to wave (well, it appeared to me that he did) and then casually and I really do mean, casually, walked away. The creature was the size of a kitten.

Jarebear Boo and I did what came natural. We screamed. LOUD! Needless to say, all 8 of the kids plus J, came running. But, he faded away into the abyss.

The creatures that live in our houses and lives sometimes loom quietly, waiting for the right moment to appear. Sometimes, doubt brings out the creature or even disappointment or discontentment.

The only way the creature will survive is by feeding on negative thoughts, self-doubts, lack of faith and disillusionment when things go wrong.

I struggle with a few creatures in my life. One of them is envy. I hate that I allow it to jab at me when something wonderful happens to someone else and I'm left at the sidelines, cheering them on instead.

Another is, my stinkin' thinkin'. It's so much easier to beat myself up when I make a mistake or don't achieve whatever it is that I'm attempting to achieve.

The sad thing is that even though, I may not feed the creature, he'll always have something to eat, whether it is a pair of pjs, Christmas ornaments or even sand paper. In that same way, we can never completely get rid of the negative things in our lives, because we're far from being perfect.

We can acknowledge that it exists but not throw a celebratory party for it each time it crosses our paths. We can feed the creature but feed it something that will cause it's demise. He may be thinking he's eating a Hershey's chocolate bar but he's really eating rat poison.

In that same way, we can feed the negatives in our lives with positives. When the green 'ol envy rears it's ugly, stupid head; it can easily be fed a huge helping of gratitude instead.

Even when depression floats around us like a storm cloud heavy with rain, we can find treasures to keep our hearts light and happy. I love going to the library and heading to the children's books. Just browsing through the books makes me reminisce and smile again. I also enjoy baking cookies or going for a drive with J, taking pictures of God's palette along the way. Music is another way that my heart is often lifted. No matter how heavy my heart is, there's just something about the way that music soothes me.

How do you destroy the creatures in your life?

A Creature in the House

2011-11-22T11:43:00.000-08:00

There's a creature in the house. I think it is about 3 feet tall, long tail, sharp, maybe bucked teeth with drool sliding down it's chin. The creature doesn't sleep at night but stomps around, chewing wood and steel. The creature believes that he (I think it's a "he") is setting up house for his future "babe" creature and their offspring...lots and lots of them.

At 2:00 AM, I couldn't take it anymore. The creature was no longer capable of being ignored.

"Hey, Babe!" I whispered. "I think that creature is going to chew it's way into our bedroom."

Being the calm, very calm man that J is, he replied, "Honey, it's just a little mouse. He'll stop before long."

I forgot about whispering. "It's NOT a little mouse! This thing is huge. I think it's a giant rat or a beaver or maybe even a gremlin." (Yes, my imagination overflows sometimes.)

J (bless his heart) gets up and goes into the attic storage of the house behind the closet in our bedroom with a flashlight. I wait to hear thudding and slamming and screeching but there's nothing. He comes back in and climbs back in bed.

"Did you get him?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

"No, he's in the floor space between the floor and the ceiling of the rooms downstairs." He turns over to begin his descent into sleepland.

Last night, I went behind J (bravely, I might add) with the intent to seek out the creature. I lifted up a box and out fell a small bottle of oil that J used for when he prayed for his congregation during church services. Right then and there, I had an idea. I dabbed a little here and there, all over the doorway. I prayed this prayer....

"Dear God, please don't let the creature cross this doorway. Amen."

I went to sleep with peace, knowing that with God on my side, the creature was bound to get bored, unnerved, afraid and maybe hungry and leave. At least....I hope that it does and soon.

Life is like that as well. We don't realize that we open the door to unexpected creatures in our lives...

We allow the kids to watch something that is inappropriate.

We fall into the sea of gossip, just to belong.

We over eat because it's there and not because we're hungry.

We lose our tempers and say something that we later regret.

We envy others for what they have and what we do not have.

We stretch the truth a tiny bit which leads to a bigger thing...a lie.

All this time, we are feeding and allowing the creature to dwell in our homes.

I know that there are creatures looming around in my home. Some are seen and others aren't. I'm praying though that they will find that there is no place for them to dwell and they'll pack up their bags and leave.

If not, I have big stick and I'm not afraid to use it.

How about you? Do you have creatures, unwelcome in your home?

Holding Hands, Holding Hearts

2011-11-17T21:12:00.000-08:00

I was walking hand in hand with Jarebear Boo into the grocery store. She was 8 years old. I told her, "I love holding your hand."

She said, "I'll always hold your hand, Mommy, no matter how old I am."

My heart melted at that very moment. I knew that one day, she'd hit the age where it just wasn't as "cool" to walk around, holding my hand, but in the meantime, I cherished it.

Then, the moment came when we no longer held hands. There was no premeditated warning....it just happened, one day, without notice.

My heart moved on, although, never forgetting the joy of what it was like to have a hand to hold.

One day, J and I were walking, hand in hand. As we climbed the stairs, I stumbled. Quicker than I could catch myself, J tightened his grip and broke my fall. I found that moment once again. I discovered that holding one's hand is like holding one's heart. He tenderly held mine and still does...when we pray, when we fall asleep at night, when we are in church, worshiping together, sitting side by side, cheering the Oregon Ducks on to victory and sitting across the table, sharing a milkshake...we're holding each others hearts and hands.

At a time when I'm totally reminded of thankfulness, I'm thankful for the big things, like having a job after being unemployed for 2 years. I'm thankful for new beginnings and mischievous puppies. I'm thankful for silly songs sung on my voice mail and warm blankets fresh from the dryer. But most of all, I'm thankful for a hand to hold.

What are you thankful for?

A Letter to Older Me

2011-11-14T20:52:00.000-08:00

Dear Older Me,

I know I’ve got a few more years to go before I’m considered “old” so I’m telling you now, you’re in for the ride of your life. You will NOT grow old without a fight. It’s not that you’re in denial; you’re going to find that there’s way too much life to be lived still.

Play lots - video games, dance, paint, play with a yoyo, jump rope while singing the childhood jump rope songs, take in some homeless animals, and LAUGH!!! Create moments…seek moments where laughter is overflowing. Blow milk bubbles (of course, don’t forget to take Lactaid), lie on your back and watch the clouds. Have a picnic with your precious J, romancing and loving ever moment of his touch. (PS…there’s no such thing as being too old for romance).

You may not like the word “no” very much but brace yourself. Not every idea will be met with thumbs up, even from your kids. But that’s okay. By then, there will be ankle locators for the elderly so they’ll keep tabs on you wherever you are.

Oh, and by the way, prepare yourself, Older Me, because you are taking that Thelma and Louise trip with your twin sis living life close to the edge. Bring plenty of extra underpants because the trip will cause leakage in great proportions from laughing so hard. Also, never leave home without enough money in your pocket to either call a cab or for bail money. Never say never to jumping out of planes, going on a safari in Africa or staying in a 5 star hotel, being treated like royalty. You deserve to be waited on hand and foot, even if they are a bit wrinkly.

You’re going to love being a Grammie. It’s going to feel like nothing you’ve ever felt before to hold your beautiful grandbabies and know that you are holding a piece of heaven here on earth. It’s okay to slip the grandbabies cookies when their parents aren’t looking and give them the wink. It will always just be your secret.

Find a place to hang your car keys. You will lose them many times before you figure that one out.

As much as you hate the thought of hot flashes and irritability, enjoy every minute of it. It will save tons on the heating bill in the winter time.

When you get the urge to do something out of the ordinary, make sure that you tell J what it is and where you’re going, just in case, somehow, along the way, you get lost and can’t find your way back home.

Laugh when you wear two different shoes or drop half a bagel down your cleavage….at least you will still have cleavage, even if it is tucked inside of your socks.

Sing loudly…and trust me, others will sing right along with you.

Never fear admitting you’ve forgotten something. It’s not that you’re forgetful, your brain is just taking a power nap.

Cherish time cuddling, and holding hands. And KISS long and passionately. Most of all, love yourself and all the other things will fall right into place.

Signed,

The younger ME

When Who I am and What I Used to Be - Collide

2011-11-09T16:50:00.000-08:00

I'm back!! If the puppy can keep his teeth out of the power cords, that is....

I didn't anticipate it...it just happened out of nowhere. In fact, it was just like the commercial where the one person, eating out of a jar of peanut butter passes a person eating a chocolate bar and they collide.

"Hey! You got chocolate in my peanut butter!"

"You got peanut butter in my chocolate!"

Viola! Reese's Peanut Butter cups are a result.

My "collision" hasn't been half as delicious or simple. In fact, at times, it is akin to being a cast member on the Twilight Zone.

The Who I Used to Be was creative, carefree, ate a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner, watched reruns of old tv shows, painted, played Wii games, sung loud in the shower and slept in late or got up early.

The Who I Used to Be, was bold and courageous, not caring what others thought. WIUTB created new recipes, went to the Asian market and bought things because they looked like they might taste good.

The WIUTB also started and finished projects, played in the dirt and wrote in the blog daily. Procrastination wasn't a part of her vocabulary.

Then came the Who I am Now (WIAN). The walls of our "bedroom" reverberate from the loud tv. The door opens with, "What's for dinner? I'm hungry." Deep in thought, the Who I am Now can't focus to write a few sentences in the blog. She stares at the ceiling, praying for inspiration. The Who I am Now practices patience like never before but cries quickly when the house that was clean a few hours before is back to being messy again.

The Who I am Now longs to be liked and appreciated and respected. She also longs for creativity and the joy in being able to complete projects, be silly and even sit in the tub until the wrinkles appear.

The WIAN and the WIUTB have seen days that are blessings in many ways and others that have caused her to want to hibernate under warm blankets.

God doesn't give us more than we can handle and like the Playdoh that accidentally on purpose ended up in a bag filled with paints, I'm being molded and shaped into someone stronger, loving and kind.

How do you blend what used to be with what is?

Things I've Learned Thursday

2011-10-27T16:50:00.001-07:00

I haven't been to visit all of you and I apologize. I've been without a computer and still, without one.....keep reading for more info.

1) Time may fly by when you’re having fun but it drags when all hell breaks loose.

2) On the 27th day of October, my true love handed me, one Kleenex for crying, one blown head gasket, one fried computer, one chewed up cell phone, two burned fingers, one paper cut and a cute puppy grinning ear to ear.

3) I will never attempt to make kale chips again. If left in a freezer bag, by the next morning, it turns into spinach. (And tastes like cow poop.)

4) Why oh why are Christmas lights and decorations up already? I'm SO not humored.

5) Oregonians refer to women as "gals". It takes some getting used to.

6) Every now and then, I have an extreme urge to either rob a bank or to do a money dance. (You know the kind where for no explained reason, it begins to rain money?)

7) My favorite white noise lately is the trains going down the tracks. Although, when the conductor leans on the horn, that's not exactly pleasant.

8) I'm so thankful for the fall...the leaves in all of their colorful glory and the biggest reason...caramel apples!

9) Dogs are happiest when they smell their worst!

10) Having a discussion with a three year old made my day. He greeted me first with, "Hellllloooo!" and then, "Me's Parker." Then, pointing to his dad, "Him's names Daddy."

What have you learned?

Fixing It

2011-10-17T22:02:00.001-07:00

I like to fix things. Actually, I take fixing things seriously and in fact, when things are broken, I am on a mission to figure out ways to fix "it".

This weekend, J and I looked forward to some time alone. I woke up excited about the time we'd spend together. The first stop by my request was to see where he grew up and went to school. There's just something about listening to people as they reminisce. I thought that the day was getting off to a good start when suddenly, huge clouds of white poured out of the hood of my car. Thankfully, we were right by the driveway of a strip mall and pulled in enough time to open the hood as the steam (looked like smoke to me) poured out. Long story short, 3 hours later and the car was towed back the house. After determining that it was more than likely the thermostat, J installed it the next day. Excited, I tried to start the car and it wouldn't start. I wanted to cry. We waited and waited and jumped it to no avail. By then, I was on every "auto" mechanics troubleshooting website, trying to figure out what was wrong with it.

I proudly announced, "It's the alternator. It got a little wet once the radiator was flushed."Wrong. Took the battery out, got that checked and it was "the battery". J put the battery in and then gave me the honors once more of starting it up. It didn't start. By then, I was in tears. Not only were we out of money trying to fix it but it was still broken.

Next stop...spark plugs....I'm not sure if that will fix it or not but it's taught me a huge lesson in a major way: I am way too determined to fix what's broken. In fact, I didn't realize the pressure I've put on myself all these years. I have taken on this role of "Mrs. Fix-It" for so long that I can't rest easy until I've succeeded.

This sets me up for failure. I can't fix broken hearts or burnt toast or spilled coffee. I can't even fix a bad hair cut or a bad photo. But I want to make it all better. I want to make it better than new.

I can't.

But He can.

That's where I need to hand him all that's broken and say, "Can you fix this, please?"

How do you handle broken things? Do you take it to someone to fix it?

I Admire You

2011-10-11T20:41:00.000-07:00

I see this in every blog friend I've made. You ALL fall into my "people I admire". As I wrote this, I realized that I know and see so many of these qualities in all of you and for you, my friends, I've written this.

I admire you because you held your dad's hands last night as he was welcomed into heaven. You were strong enough to face death of someone you loved so deeply and still have the courage to wake up and face another day.

I admire you because you have the courage to be a missionary, raising your family to serve others and love them, and give your all for the sake of the Call.

I admire you in the midst of your chronic pain suffering, that you find time to think of others and to put others needs before your own.

I admire you because you have the gift of stretching a budget, clipping coupons, cooking food to last the whole week and still find time for YOU.

I admire you because even after the loss of your hair as a result of chemotherapy, your smile radiates the whole room and people are drawn to your beauty.

I admire you because the callouses, sore knees and hands don't prevent you from working side by side with your husband, working your farm together.

I admire you because you speak the truth in love and it never is ignored.

I admire you because you can taste and add ingredients without following a recipe and come up with a masterpiece.

I admire you because you are strong enough to stand up against abuse and win.

I admire you because you choose your fashions and style based on being yourself and not someone else.

I admire you because you have a gift with words that creates a visual imagery that is just as real as being there.

I admire you because you laugh heartily, without hesitance over things that bring you joy.

I admire you because you can juggle the checkbook, 5 kids, one husband and still meet the needs of those around you.

I admire you because your talent is awe worthy yet, you are humble and unaware.

I admire you because the words you write are words that cause me to shake my head, to dance a little inside and to applaud each time I am embraced by your words.

I admire all of you for your strength...your faith...your outlook on life....forgiving hearts...creative spirits.....I admire you!!

*************************************************************

Announcing the winner of the Sex Love and Liberation prize package..........

Dawna of http://dawnalee-becauseitmatters.blogspot.com/

Thank you all for your comments. I realize that sex isn't the most comfortable topic to discuss so I appreciate all of your inputs.

Dawna...please email me with your contact information so that I can make sure to get the digital book and other goodies out to you.

The S Word - Giveaway

2011-10-06T19:34:00.000-07:00

As promised, today, I had the privilege of interviewing my daughter, Ev'Yan, author of a newly released digital book, Sex Love Liberation. Her book is one of the most intriguing, honest looks at the beauty of sex, and most of all, loving ourselves.

In celebrating the release of her book, she is giving away the digital book (+ the worksheet & 30 Days of Sensuality prompts) to one of my readers. To enter, please leave a comment answering this question, "What is one part of your body that you love?" On Tuesday, October 11, I'll be randomly selecting from the entries and contacting the winner of the prize package.

******Disclaimer*******The content of this blog post is for mature readers only. Discretion is advised. If you feel that any portion of this post is inappropriate for you to read, please exit the blog now. Thanks.

Hi Ev'Yan! Thank you for spending time with me, talking about a subject that isn't openly discussed.

1) What prompted you to write your book?

I wrote Sex, Love, Liberation: A Manifesto for the Bold at Heart because it was something *I* needed, not just as a goal I wanted to accomplish, but to enrich my own life with beliefs & mantras that I personally need to be reminded of.

A lot of the advice I've received on sex or self-love were often too convoluted to implement. I had never seen a "self-help" book written with very poetic, powerful, & to-the-point idioms that can be easily latched onto or remembered throughout the day. Mantras just work for me & I wanted to compile a collection of the ones that would make an impact on my mindset.

2) What areas do you find couples struggle with the most in a sexual relationship?

It's impossible to answer this question, since I don't know the inner workings of the relationships of even my own friends. This is just something people don't talk about. If I had to guess, though, I would imagine that couples tend to struggle with differences in preference & libido -- as in, their partner might have a very high sex drive, while the other is more vanilla & prefers cuddles over intercourse. I myself have struggled with these kind of differences in my own marriage, particularly in the libido department.

One thing that I'd like to mention, though, is that there is no right or wrong libido, nor is there a right or wrong way to express one's sexual desires. I think a lot of people are often made to feel guilty about their libidos by their partner, for instance, because it's so different from their own. They might indirectly hint at it being abnormal if their partner has a low (or high) sex drive. When really... sexuality is so, so fluid; it's not black or white. It is constantly evolving & it varies based on the person, the body, the relationship, & the preference.

3) If your spouse isn't fulfilling you sexually, what would you recommend?

A good, old-fashioned heartfelt chat. In doing the work that I do, I get this sense that something as intimate & exploratory as sex is often perceived as very hush-hush & closed for discussion, even with their partners! A lot of women think that a man is born knowing how to touch & make love to a woman. This is so far from the truth. Our partners need to be taught ("shown" is a better word), & who better to teach them than ourselves, the masters of our bodies?

Sex (& a sexual relationship) is not as simple as an erect penis & the permission to enter. It's learning together. It's compromising. It's getting into the nitty-gritty of what you like/don't like. It's experimentation.

4) What's the perfect recipe for rekindling your sex life?

Dedication to keeping that fire alive. Both people have to be on board to keeping that pilot for their love life lit. No one person should carry more of the load than the other. It's give & take (but mainly giving, with lots of love and respect).

5) Is there really a G spot? What secret hiding places can be turn ons?

I am conflicted about the G Spot.Too much emphasis is put on the "G Spot" & many women feel broken if they haven't experienced pleasure from it before (this is the same with vaginal orgasms). I don't like the pressure that is put on women to react from this deep, internal zone that may or may not be present.

In the same breath, I can admit to having had experience with the "G Spot" or something of that nature. Basically, an area in my body that feels really, really good when it gets stimulated. But my response to this likely doesn't feel like yours, or the next person's.

Again, it's important to stay connected to & explore our own bodies & not let the findings of some doctor dictate our personal responses & pleasure.

As for secret hiding places... I give you permission to go on your own treasure hunt & find them. ;]

6) How do you get past the insecurities of discussing sex with one another?

Much like you would if you were holding a scalding hot coal in your hand -- you would drop it, or, in this case, just do it.

Acknowledge the discomfort, & then acknowledge the importance of having such a discussion. You'll never get what you want (the sex life you deserve) unless you ask for it.

7) He likes the lights on, she likes the lights off - what do you recommend for the couple that has different sexual needs?

Compromise (which I kind of alluded to in question #2). In this case, candlelight. It's enough dimness to not leave you feeling like you're performing underneath a stage light, but just enough illumination so that you're not fumbling in the dark.

Not to mention, candlelight is the most flattering light there is. It makes your body appear especially supple & sultry, & it accentuates the color of your skin, making it milky, smooth, & almost effervescent.

8) Are toys enhancements or distractions in the bedroom?

I believe that toys can be a tool used to enhance your sexual experiences or to make you more aroused as you're preparing for a sack session with your lover.

9) What's a way to boost confidence when making love?

Summon your sex kitten alter ego (we all have one dying to come out). What would she do? What would she say? How would she move? Sometimes faking it 'til you feel it (or taking on the identity of someone else for the time being) can get us past our comfort zones & into a space where we are fully in the moment.

I call this mental role playing.

10) Once the kids are asleep and the house is quiet, what is the recipe for setting the mood?

Music (or just the sweet, sweet sound of silence). Candles (that kind of lighting is so sensual). Sexy bedside reads (easy-on-the-ears erotica). Erotic films (the French make the best ones). Shared showers (baths are even better). Sleeping nude (you'll have a hard time keeping your hands to yourself). Sharing fantasies (adult bedtime stories, as I like to call them).

Take time to prep your outside surroundings; that will immediately get your mind & emotions in the right, sexy place.

xx,

female liberation artist

Blog | Twitter | Google+

Thank you again, Ev'Yan. To find out more about Ev'Yan's book and read along on her blog:

The book: http://sexloveliberation.com

My blog: http://sexloveliberation.com

Saying the S Word

2011-10-04T21:34:00.000-07:00

Not THAT word but this word...

When I stop and think about sex, I still blush (a little). When I was growing up, I had no clue about sex. In fact, what I learned, I learned from Judy Blume's Are You There God, It's Me Margaret? I totally could've written that one...Are You There God, It's Me, Simone...Again.

As I got older, I came to the conclusion that "it" must be bad because it wasn't commonly discussed, especially in church, where all the do's and don't were always talked about. To me, it was just plain ol' taboo.

But, now that I'm married and older and some what...just a bit, wiser, I'm wondering why it was such a hushed topic. I mean, although I don't expect my pastor to announce to the congregation that his wife gave him a blow....j..b, I do wish that it was talked about, openly and not meant to be harmful but beautiful.

Sex is all up in our faces...on tv, in music, on billboards and definitely, the internet. For the very first time, I saw a movie that was rated R and it actually showed men and their privates and not just the balls but the pencil or marker (depending how big it was).

Sex shouldn't be something that is whispered about behind closed doors. I remember hearing a pastor's wife who was quite honest about her and her husband of 40 something years, bedroom secrets. She said, "He can't seem to get it up or keep it up but our lovemaking is better than ever. You know why? Because he knows how to please me. Sometimes, we use toys and other times, we don't but I wouldn't trade the intimacy we share with any other couple." Now THAT'S beautiful!!

I'll share a special interview coming up, with a talented writer who has written a book on Sex, Love and Liberation. That writer?? My daughter, Married Boo aka Ev'Yan.

My desire is to share the beauty of what God created sex to be and to let go of any inhibitions that may come from what we were told or how we were raised or by what was or wasn't said in our growing up years.

In the meantime, I'd love to know, how do you feel when talking about sex??

My Girls

2011-10-02T18:11:00.000-07:00

She walked around with an animal cracker box (the kind with a shoe string handle) and called it her purse.

She would announce to any stranger walking by, "My daddy fawted!"

She was stubborn and refused to say "Sorry" when she was the one that smacked another kid because he just looked at her.

She wanted to change her name to Erica.

She turned a cartwheel on the balance be am when she was 4 just because she wanted to see if she could and she did.

She plastered herself with Vaseline and came out naked during a visit with a prospective daycare family.

She loved Elephant Show and would play the video over and over, singing every song.

She was afraid of the dark and would cry and say she was scared of the "big bad wolf".

She wrote like this: elppa (apple) or yppah (happy) and said that she like writing that way.

Those were some memories that I cherish of my daughters, as their mommy but now, I'm cherishing memories as their friend.

I think back to when they were growing up - how great they were even as kids. They never threw tantrums in the middle of store or screamed, "I hate you" or were selfish and disrespectful. Family traditions came easy because they appreciated things like movie night or family harvest celebrations where we hid candy all over the house. I cherished sitting with one of them between my legs as I combed their hair and made them look pretty or watched Annie or a Shirley Temple movie for the umpteenth time.

As teenagers, they chose friends that liked them for who they were. They weren't followers, they were leaders, making their own fashion statements and standing firmly for what was right. I would lay on their beds and talk about life, friends, boys, books and whatever was on their minds and I'm so glad I did.

I now see the fruits of those times we've spent together. This weekend, we spent time together (girls night) where we chilled in Portland, laughing and talking together. I pushed Jarebear Boo in a shopping cart (just like old times) and oohed and awwed over sights and sounds of Portland's Saturday market. I grinned from ear to ear riding the rail, waiting for it to pick up speed as if we were on a roller coaster ride.

Saying goodbye was hard but on the way home, I realized that this is the perfect gift God has given me...to not only be a mom but also their friend. I know there is more to come...more adventures, laughs and times shared together. So, if you are a parent of a teen and you wonder how you'll get past the hard parts...you will, one day at a time. One day, you'll wake up and discover that they are no longer cause for gray hair but passageways for joy, tremendous joy.

Ev'Yan and Jarani - thank YOU for being my very best friends. I love you forever and alway...for now. (As she used to say when she said, "I love you.")

Things I've Learned Thursday

2011-09-29T16:53:00.000-07:00

1) Its way more embarrassing falling upstairs instead of falling downstairs.

2) Working in cubicles means there’s just some things that people should never discuss on a personal phone call while at their desk.

3) Stale chocolate rice cakes tastes like the bottom of a cat litter box. Blech! (And no, I’ve never gone there and never will!!!)

4) The Terrible 2’s in puppy years has begun. Hide your shoes, your fingers, toes, socks, crumbs…Mooshu is on his way to visit you. (How could I forget that this stage? I hope he goes through it quickly…if not, I’ll be air mailing him to Alaska!)

5) When I usually bite my tongue once, normally it means that I’m going to bite it two more times.

6) There’s no better feeling than the feeling of being loved!

7) There were 3 menopausal women in the conference that I attended. How did I know? They carried their personal fans with them. Can you imagine if guys went through midlife and they had hot flashes - what that would look like?

8) I will never complain about my new last name having 11 letters again. After typing in registrations for a Russian class, I’m humbled.

9) Thirty dollars is way too much money to pay for cheeseburgers, no matter if it IS Five Guys and they have over 100 flavors of soda.

10) There’s something exhilarating finding a treasure among a pile of junk.

What have you learned?

Ohhhh, who are the people in your neighborhood?

2011-09-26T21:46:00.000-07:00

When I moved away from California, I left a lifetime of memories, family and friends. It was/is tough.

I had my own little "community" or as the pastor of my old church used to call it, an "oikos". These are the people that were a part of my life on a regular basis and influenced and encouraged me and vice versa. They were the friends that I laughed with and hugged and shared recipes with and cheered for. They were the ones that I made an extra loaf of banana bread for or went yard saleing with. They were the people that prayed for me, sang with me, cried with me and got into mischief with me.

I don't have that community anymore. Not even my daughters live close enough to spend time with as often as I'd like. But I realized that I do have friends in my life who mean the world to me...you...my blogging friends.

I find that I often will include in a typical conversation, "My friend, Ina, who lives in Alaska..." or "I have a friend who's son, Josh loves to read" or "My friend, Mari made this really great recipe that I can't wait to try...."

Then, there are those times when my thoughts land throughout the day on someone who's going through something tough or maybe I end up reflecting on something shared that was profound and insightful.

I am thankful for you for you are a part of my neighborhood. There are those of you that have been with me for the three years that I've blogged and for that, I'm so very thankful. So, my invitation to you is to introduce yourself or your blog and tell me one thing about you that you want me to know. Even if you don't comment often or even comment at all, please, join in. I'd be thrilled to finally meet you!

In the meantime, welcome to my neighborhood!!

The Perfect Getaway...pictures alert

2011-09-23T22:51:00.000-07:00

J and decided to postpone our honeymoon since we had so much going on the weekend of the wedding. J chose a bed and breakfast in Pacific City, Oregon that was beautiful, romantic and sigh....wonderful.

Sandlake Country Inn was our romantic hideaway. We were pampered and treated like special guests the minute we arrived.

This was the beautiful entry to bliss. There were snacks, tea, cookies, and coffee, homemade and delicious.

As we walked into the sitting room, there was sounds of classical music playing. The owner was a talented violinist that had played in quite a few symphonies and she had a great collection of classical music.

We had a sitting room, a kitchen and our private suite with a deck off of the bedroom.

Every morning, there was a knock on the wall giving us the okay to head to the landing to pick up our four course breakfast in a basket. The food was delicious!

This breathtaking view was a mile from the B&B. This is Pacific City's Haystack Rock.

We ended our trip at the Tillamook Cheese factory where there was plenty of cheese and other goodies to taste.

Aside from me having an asthma attack the second day we arrived at the B&B, it was a memory that will last forever.

In fact, I think another trip there is in the works for our first anniversary.

The Uglies

2011-09-20T21:25:00.000-07:00

One time, I was crying over something...maybe spilled milk and I looked in the mirror as I was crying. I had the uglies! I have never seen anyone cry and not have a case of the uglies.

But, what I learned that what breaks forth from the uglies is something, pure and good and deep down raw.

I have had a need to have a case of the uglies. Life can sometimes get hard and chaos seems to take over at a time when I just can't afford to have the uglies.

My twin sister was sharing with me years ago, attending a funeral of her husband's grandmother. She said that she looked at the body in the casket and burst into tears. She had the case of the uglies. Her husband thought she was grieving and began rubbing her back and consoling her. Later, she admitted that she wasn't crying because of the grief, although it was quite sad but she was crying because who ever had embalmed Grandma, had turned her green. I'm so very thankful that I wasn't there. We both would've had a bad case of the uglies....snot flying every where, tissues being shredded and then wadded up and tucked away in our purses, not knowing what to do with it.

After laughing about Grandma Green Face, we acknowledged how much we needed a case of the uglies.

I feel the uglies rearing up something fierce lately. The only thing is, my sister isn't here to share the uglies with. It just doesn't do justice to have a case of the uglies all by myself.

Do you have a sister/friend that you know you can share the uglies with? I want to hear all about it!

A Day Like No Other Day

2011-09-14T22:20:00.000-07:00

On September 15, 1987, it was a day like no other. Sure, the Pope came to visit Los Angeles. (I only know that because we have the newspaper from that day). But something bigger, greater, better, fantastic..happened on that day.

Ev'Yan Whitney was born. My baby girl, you changed my life in a way that is hard to describe in a short blog post. You showed me the many facets of love. From the very first glimpse of your face, I fell head over heels in love, knowing that there was nothing I wouldn't do for you. No, I didn't prepare for the naughtiness that seemed to come out of nowhere by the time you were 8 months old. You did everything way before your time from walking to talking to letting the whole world know that it was changed because of you.

When I look at the young woman that you are now, I am filled with so much love and joy and of course, pride to not only call you my daughter but also my very best friend.

We've had some pretty great journeys that have brought us to where we are today. I'm so happy that we are all experiencing life anew in this place we all call home now...Oregon. There's no other place I'd rather be than to be here with you.

I love you for your courage to try new things because its your courage that inspires me.

Thank you for including me in on things that not every 48 year old mommy would be included in. I feel blessed and special to know that you too, call me your friend.

Happy 24th birthday. I only wish my computer hadn't exploded so I could post pictures of you with your sweet baby face. No worries though....those memories are etched deep inside my heart.

I love you my sweet baby girl! Have a birthday that you will never forget!!!

Mommy

Puppy Love

2011-09-12T20:31:00.000-07:00

This boy has stolen my heart!

He's taught me to be patient and realize that the crying, peeing and chewing will soon be a thing of the past.

I still miss my Sam but I see Sam all through this little guy in the things he does.

Here's Mooshu.

Love in Chocolate and Vanilla

2011-09-01T11:03:00.001-07:00

I love chocolate ice cream (that’s obvious) but I also love vanilla ice cream BUT only if vanilla is eaten on top of something or mixed with something like nuts, caramel, or apple pie or on a fudge sundae.

Funny how in my love life, I chose vanilla over chocolate. Why?? My vanilla had so many things mixed inside of him that made him scrumptiously wonderful.

In a world where racism is out of control, it’s hard to turn away from the questions I’m often asked. Lately, the question I’ve heard the most as I’ve announced our marriage is, “Is he Black or White? First, notice that the question isn’t, “Is he purple or green?”

“He’s white.” (But that’s the outer layer and not the insides and the mixed in goodness.) Besides…..So???? J knows he’s white and so do I but what matter is how we love and respect one another.

Here are a few misconceptions that are often tossed out in the open or even whispered.

1) Mixed race couples make beautiful babies. More the reason to have a child. WRONG. Babies are beautiful, no matter what color they are…PERIOD.

2) White men are pushovers. Black women are brassy and are controlling so they make the perfect blend. WRONG. Black women have strong opinions about life in general but it really depends on the personality of the Black woman. I value J’s opinion and hearing the wisdom he shares. We communicate together, not holding back our feelings or emotions. We do our best to understand one another AND J is no pushover.

3) Black men are better lovers than white men. Wrong!!! Double Wrong!! Without giving up our bedroom secrets, J is my sexual GPS He knows where, how much, when and how I like it.

4) White men just don't understand what makes a Black woman tick. J does! He knows when to keep the windows up so I

won't mess up my hair before I head into church. He understands the complexities of solving an issue with the threat of a Black woman cooking grits.

5) White people just don't know what it's like to be Black. Maybe not but my Vanilla understands the depth of passion I feel in being who I am. He knows that in a world where color can often be a factor in making choices, he chose me. Better yet...I didn't choose him and he didn't choose me...God chose us!

One thing I know for sure...when chocolate and vanilla melt together, it makes a pretty tasty blend!

Just When I Thought It Was Safe

2011-08-29T21:57:00.000-07:00

Two things I know for sure...stuff happens...when you least expect it. You can either laugh or cry.

AND

the biggest lesson learned is there is still grace in spite of it all.

My computer took a dive and breathed its last breath. I sat horrified. There was no warning, no burp or cough...just...silence.

I felt like Alexander having a horrible, no good, terrible day but mine was magnified times 2 million.

J wrapped his arms around me and said, "Honey, I'm sorry your day isn't going well. Is there something I can do to make it better?"

The grouchy me said, "I just want to punch a wall."

The loving, sweetheart J said, "Here, just punch me and you'll feel better."

I told him, "Nope. It would make me feel worse...way worse. I can't and won't hurt you." (Although my punch would've probably felt like a flea tickling him.)

So, he held me for a minute and the phone rang. In a minute, my bad day began to take a turn for the better. Jarebearboo blessed me with her laptop. Basically, she told me to get "quit my sniveling" and I did.

Then, both her and Married Boo came over to visit. In the short amount of time they were here, I realized just how much I miss them both. Life felt like my kind of normal for awhile. We laughed and they promised that we'd do a girls weekend and SOON.

I needed to remind myself that sometimes tears come before laughter.

Another thing that I've learned is that it may awhile before I find my "normal" here. When I do, it will be all that I've dreamed it would be.

PS--There's a new arrival on it's way. (hint...he's fluffy and has four legs and is darn cute! More on the new arrival soon to come.)

The New Daddy

2011-08-16T19:55:00.000-07:00

She waits, patiently, looking out the window. The pillows on the couch are flattened but she’s okay as long as she has a clear window view of the outside. She hears the car engine coming closer and her ears perk up. “My daddy is home!” She sits up, peering out the window, tail wagging until his key turns in the door. Within seconds, she’s at his heels, barking for his attention.

He picks her up and says, “Hi, Pretty Girl!”

She sighs and settles into his lap. “My daddy is home!”

Selah is the “furbaby” in this story. She has been with me through my first marriage, divorce, moving from one location to another and finally, a place where she has found happiness and contentment.

As corny as this may sound, I believe animals know, with keen intuition if it’s safe to fall in love – head over heels in love. Selah has jumped in – all four paws and discovered what it’s like to be treasured by not only her mommy but also, her new daddy.

The keys jingle and she knows that it’s their time alone. They’ll go on an adventure – maybe to pick up the kids, drop off the kids or to the store. Either way, the best place to be is in his lap, head out the window, smiling from ear to ear.

Knowing that she is loved and content brings true peace to my heart as well. To some, she is JUST A DOG but to me, she has been my uninvited but most welcome companion in this new and awesome journey of mine. Some times, as she lies in my lap, she gives a sigh of deep contentment. Bliss!

What Did You Dream?

2011-08-15T20:09:00.000-07:00

My twin sister and I started a ritual when we were very young of waking up in the morning and asking each other, “What did you dream?” Sometimes, the dreams were scary! Other times, they were goofy and silly. We would laugh and ask questions like, “Then what did you do? Were you scared? Where was I?” It was a normal part of our childhood.

Now that I’m 48, I’ve discovered that my childhood wasn’t at all normal. Don’t get me wrong; it was good, in fact, great BUT it wasn’t typical of most childhoods.

I had my twin sister to share my thoughts, fears, wishes and dreams with. With her, I could be quiet and shy or obnoxious and loud. I could ask ~~stupid~~ curious questions or share my new found discoveries.

I see how much my dreams have changed over the years. I still sometimes dream that I’ve lost my car in the parking lot and can’t seem to locate it but I also dream dreams that realistically, I want more than anything for them to happen.

One of those dreams is to write full-time, using my passion for words to inspire others. Another is to have an epic garden – both flowers and veggies where I can spend time nurturing and enjoying the harvest. I also crave a special place of my own to create – to paint, draw, think and write or stare at the ceiling if I want. Lastly, J and I both discovered the joy of a B and B on our honeymoon. It may take years but I dream of a place for others to come to relax, retreat and rejuvenate….a home away from home.

Dreaming isn’t scary…it’s exciting! It pushes beyond the limits of your imagination and propels you into an area that maybe you never thought possible.

What did you dream?

The Big Boss from H-E-Double Hockey Sticks

2011-08-02T12:35:00.000-07:00

I haven't seen the movie, Bosses as of yet although I've heard that it is worth watching. My hesitance is that although some of the movie may be of the comedic variety, I've lived that life with a former boss not long ago.

The names are changed to save embarrassment for her stupidity and abusive treatment (even though if she's reading this, she knows exactly who she is.)

At the place I call The Place, were people who were there who honestly had the desire to work and of course, make money to provide for their families. I was one of those people who had a wonderful immediate supervisor who I came to highly respect and look forward to talking with. But, looming behind was the Footstomper, the GM of the company.

FS (Footstomper) wore heavy shoes so that when she walked, EVERYONE heard her coming. She claimed that she was a Bad A--(mule) but personally, she was close to be satan's twin, and I don't say that in exaggeration.

FS screamed and yelled at people, including the owner of the company. She was known for putting her hands in people's faces, mine included, when she wanted them to shut up. She was known for calling people stupid (namely me) because "HER" paper jammed in the printer but it wasn't her fault. She yelled and screamed at me because the wall got dinged by two guys moving file cabinets and I didn't "remind them" to "be careful". She inappropriately spoke to people from other ethnicities in broken, slow English, pronouncing every word saying, "I wasn't sure if she spoke English or not." She threw tantrums, yelled hateful words to everyone and made many people cry. The owner excused her behavior, giving many reasons for her behavior.

One day, she slammed the door in one of the upper management's faces. She didn't apologize.

Another day, she held a company birthday party for the owner but left out two people, on purpose, my supervisor and myself.

When she was gone, the atmosphere was peaceful and the inhabitants peeked out and laughed and shared together.

She only adored certain people....those that stroked her and complimented her. Oh, and if you were fat, you were already treated like scum beneath her shoe.

My existence there at The Place, lasted as long as it was meant to be. I had cried so many tears. I suffered through dread, stress, anxiety and panic each and every time I went to work. I would tell myself, "Don't let her shake you." But, it's hard to ignore a big green monster that stomps around, demanding to be heard.

I kept quiet when there, focused on doing my job and then heading home. Footstomper had no idea of who I was, what my talents were, how intelligent and humorous I was. She didn't care and didn't attempt to find out.

The last day I walked out of The Place for the last time, I cried. I cried for those that were left behind. I cried tears of joy for never having to suffer abuse from her again. I cried with relief that I could finally be myself again.

This journey and where my life is, is even more meaningful because of the obstacle that I faced at The Place. As I drive to work, I find that I'm singing, laughing and smiling. What a contrast from the way things used to be.

Have you dealt with or are dealing with a Footstomper in your life? If you are, hang in there. Troubles don't last always. Somehow, some day, the Footstomper will get exactly what they have dished out but even more.

Things I've Learned Thursday...Bonus Kids Style

2011-07-28T17:18:00.001-07:00

Right when I planned to do a post about our 1922 house, I came home to find it stripped bare, as if termites had eaten the siding off of it. Even the beautiful climbing rose, over the doorway, was demolished. There was a "reasonable" explanation....wood rot. So, the house is going under intense "surgery" and in the meantime, there's nothing at the moment, I'd be brave enough to show.

I've never been a Bonus Mom before. I really hate the word step-mother. It's not that I have this view that I'm "their" mom and need to show who's boss because they have a mom and I'm not it. But, I think the word "step" throws me off. It makes me think of either someone that is getting stepped on or someone who is doing the stepping. So, here I am....a happy Bonus Mom.

Here's what I've learned being a Bonus Mom....

1) Certain foods are only acceptable if they are brand acceptable. Power Puff Boo (the youngest of the bunch) is a brand enthusiast and by the wink of a caterpillar's eye, she won't eat unless she knows what brand it is. Then, if it's not let's say, "Bush's baked beans" she's not eating it!

2) Boy Wonder Boo (the oldest and only boy boo) always starts his morning out singing. He sings throughout the day. I have yet to hear whether he sings in his sleep but I bet he does.

3) Cuddle Boo, (middle boo) has the organizing, rearranging, unplugging, taking apartingest spirit I've ever seen. One morning, I got up and every picture (15 to be exact) was hanging on the wall.

4) Hop Boo (oldest boo who is Her Own Person) likes to shock everyone with threats of tattoos, piercings, shaved and dyed hair and "cuddly" rats as sleep over guests. She doesn't realize that nothing she says or does can really astound me. Been there, done that. I still adore her.

5) Selah has now found out what being "one of the girls" is all about. She has a non-stop appetite for things that the girly boos feed her and a beggar she is. (She used to have manners!)

6) Sticky Kool-aid on wooden floors is NOT soothing to this Bonus Mom's clean gene. I'm trying hard....so hard...to overlook the crumbs, spills, wet towels on the floor, unwrapped food and cooking experiments in the fridge.

7) I can't stand the song, "I love you like a love song, baby!" What happen to music that was intellectually catchy???

8) J will do anything to appease his girly boos even if it means watching the Disney Channel and shows like, The Life and Times of an American Teen and Pregnant at 16.

9) Having all the Boos here to celebrate my birthday meant more to me than all of them will ever know.

10) I treasure the quiet (but it's mainly when they are asleep).

What have you learned?

Two + Friends = Twins

2011-07-23T23:33:00.000-07:00

Dear Twin 2 aka Nay Nay,

I'm actually dreading writing this blog post to you because already, I've cried three times today over missing you. A billion happy birthdays to you! If only wishes could come true, I would wish that we were celebrating our birthday together.

I've never known anything else but to be a twin and have you as my twin and very best friend. So, thank you for sharing your life and toys and clothes and kids and cars and potato chips and candy with me all these years.

I've often wondered what my life would be like if I didn't have you as my twin and friend but then, I already know the answer, my life would never be the same.

Although we made some really great memories, the one that we have yet to experience is the Thelma and Louise road trip, minus driving over the cliff. Mark that on our twin bucket list.....that IS going to happen..even if we're in our 80's.

This blog post wouldn't be memorable if I didn't at least take a walk down memory lane....so here goes...

Remember when we used to get the powder from the butterfly wings and put them on our eyelids for "makeup"?

Remember when we made the attempt at divinity fudge but it turned into something burnt and hard and Mom told us we had to eat it because we wasted some precious ingredients while experimenting.

Speaking of experimenting...remember our science fair project where we attempted to bring a fly back to life, cover him in salt and when he didn't even twitch, we said, "Don't know what happened. It worked last night!"

Remember we would spend the day in our room singing into our hairbrush microphones?

Remember feety pjs and sliding around the house?

Remember when you failed the swim test and I taught you how to swim?

Remember when we could buy Winner suckers for a nickel and then get a winner sticker and get another for free?

Remember when we sold broken jewelry to the neighborhood kids and got in trouble for nailing a sign up on the neighbor's tree, advertising our jewelry business?

There's so many memories that there isn't enough time to share them all. But, hold on to them because those are the things that have made us who we are today.

I promise I will do my best to spend our next birthday together. But for now, I'll be thinking of you all day long and doing my best not to cry.

I love you, Nay Nay!

Simone

This Thing Called Love...part two

2011-07-19T22:42:00.000-07:00

Dear J,

I really had a wonderful time. I love how patient you were with me as I oohed and ahhhed over pictures, flowers, squirrels and even half dying plants. As you can see, I'm a sucker for living things. I hope that being around me that long hasn't sent you wanting to run the other way. Promise me something.....that you will tell me what's on your mind.

I will tell you what I was thinking....

I got in the car....drove off...got onto Kuebler and thought for a moment about turning around and going back for a kiss. I seriously did. Then, I thought that you would really think I had lost my mind and lock all the doors and windows!

Nevertheless, I exhaust myself! :) Looking forward to seeing you again. Maybe tomorrow????? :) No seriously, whenever you are wanting to see me again...that is..if you want to see me again....let me know. By the way, we make a great team in the kitchen!

Take care

Simone

Dear Simone, You beat me to it. I really enjoyed my time with you. I can tell you are the one I want to dance through life with. The Bible says something about a good women is as valuable as a fine gem. After the day I spent with you I can see why. You are going to be very easy to cherish. You consume my thoughts. I would love to see you again. Right NOW! But you have a daughter who needs you today. And I truly mean it when I say true love is selfless. Looking out for the one that holds your affections. I understand that if I am going to love you, You are a package deal your two daughters, son in law, the dogs, cat, and the plants. The plants will get water today. Have a wonderful day and next time we are together you will get a Kiss and all my affections. With all my love,loyalty, and affections.

Early on, we made a decision to walk together, with eyes wide open. We wanted to do it the right way...and the right way, we both know, we did.

Falling in love again wasn't easy for me. I wasn't about to get my heart broken into a million pieces once again. Yet, this time, there was something different propelling me. I know now, that it was faith and something I had lacked for awhile...TRUST.

One of the things that I know J won't mind me sharing is that we decided not to have sex until after we were married. It was important to the both of us that we not only honor the gift of our love to each other, making it that much more special and also, honoring God by not allowing sex to be the one thing that we couldn't resist trying out before we became as one.

Since both of us had been married previously, wanting more than anything to know that this was for keeps was pretty important to us. (Plus, the fact that he's a pastor also reinforced the commitment to cherish that part of intimacy.)

Sure, there will be challenges...some that we anticipate and others that will catch us totally off guard but, we both share the tenacity to dig our heels in and share a love worth fighting for.

There's one more part to this story....where I share with you the new old house and the joy of blending family.

When Love Called..Part 1

2011-07-13T21:34:00.000-07:00

I always figured that my life wavered between a soap opera, a chick lit book and close to the National Enquirer so why am I not surprised that the first title that popped into my head was, "When Love Called".

This will be a two parter since there's a few befores to explain and of course, the afters.

The before begins like this....

The wedding was held on July 2nd and although it was planned and well thought out, it was nested between moving two houses and blending them into one and a new job and moving to a new city (for me). We had two days to make all of this happen and later, I realized, that I had experienced the top five stresses in one week's time. No wonder I felt like running naked through the streets of Salem and screaming, "I must be losing my mind!"

(No, those are NOT my undies!!!!)

Jarebear Boo (formally Single Boo) and Married Boo came over 15 minutes before the ceremony was to start.

By then, I was in full panic. I couldn't find my shoes, my hair was a mess. I just wanted to be knocked out and woken up after it was all over with. My daughters saved me from myself but providing comfort, words of encouragement and reminding me to "get ahold of myself". I found another pair of shoes and they both worked on my hair and I was "fashionably late" because Married Boo said that I was supposed to be.

We drove up to the Rose Garden where the wedding was to b
e held and my Bonus Boos (Step kids) awaited in the gazebo along with the pastor with no sight of J. My heart skipped a beat or two but the kids told me that he had left the ring at the house and went back to get it. I actually felt relieved that he had left the ring because up until then, he was Mr. Composed and Calm. This let me know that he was feeling some of the same nervous excitement I was.

The major hitches were: the video camera totally locked up after a minute into the ceremony so we didn't get the ceremony on film. The next one came when the battery in the camera went dead and Married Boo and Son In Boo raced off to find a Best Buy to purchase another one.

The ceremony was filled with beautiful words spoken by the pastor of our church and also our pre-marital counselor. He was on this journey with us and it was nice to know that he would be the one who would blend our hearts together as one. During the ceremony, he shared what we both wrote: Ten Things I Love About You...to be framed as a reminder when things sometimes get tough. I loved his words that were spoken to the kids about blending families together. That has been a huge stress with the many different personalities in our new family. Lastly, we had a rose ceremony where J presented my Boos with a rose and spoke words to them and I presented his four Boos with words to the each of them.

The past totally flew in and back out of my head as I gazed into J's eyes and realized that this was the man, the only man I wanted to share the rest of my life with. We sealed our love with a kiss. "I love you," we whispered into one another's necks.

We drove home to pizza and cake and laughter from our kids. I felt tears fill my eyes many times that day. This was a joy-ney worth waiting for and the best is yet to come.

(Part two describes the joy of coming home. Stay tuned!)

Quick break for wedding, moving, new job...whew!

2011-06-25T07:59:00.000-07:00

Don't you all forget about me! I will be back but I've got to get married, and moved and start a new job this coming up week.

If I have a moment, I will be by to visit. In the meantime...

Love and you shall be loved. - Emerson

Tidbits and Morsels and Stuff, Oh My!

2011-06-21T07:03:00.000-07:00

If you're a blog reader of mine, you probably feel like you've come right in the middle of a television episode, needing a few of the blanks filled in. Well, I'll do my best and without any commercial interruptions.

First, for those of you that were left wondering what a nutria looks like...for your viewing pleasure. It looked pretty cute swimming in the water until J Boo (my main squeeze, my soon to be better half) announced that it was a rodent...rat like. It lost it's cute factor pretty fast.

On to the questions about my mystery man aka known as J Boo. J for the joy he brings and also for the journey that we're on together and the fact that his name begins with a J. Meeting J Boo is so much more than I can describe in a blog post. We met at a place in our lives where neither one of us expected to fall head over heels in love. What started out as a friendship soon became evident that we both felt much more. I hesitated to share with him a poem that I had written, expressing those thoughts. Unbeknownst to me, he had written one as well but chose not to share it with me until the time was right.

J Boo didn't want me to know that he was a mean cook in the kitchen. Being the modest man he is, he told me that the one thing he sorta knew how to fix pretty good was steak. Then his youngest daughter let it "slip" that he made the best steak ever. Surprisingly, I was given an invitation to head to his house for dinner. When I arrived, I was met with the most beautiful ambiance. Candles were glowing everywhere! There was a huge bouquet of roses and the house smelled wonderful! He asked me to sit down because he wanted to read something to me. He beautifully framed the poem he had written and began to read it to me. It was called, Will You Walk With Me? As he got to the end of the poem, he said, "Simone, will you walk with me through this journey we call life? Will you give me the pleasure and joy of....and he got down on one knee and pulled out a ring box and finished, "of being my wife? Will you marry me?" I was speechless for a quick minute as I took in what this meant. I be the wife of a pastor and father of 4 as well as a man who's skin was not the same color as mine, who lived almost an hour away and who's life experiences were quite different than my own. This man brought me more laughter and joy and support and encouragement and love, than any man has ever shown. My J Boo held me as I cried unstoppable tears when I had to say good bye to my puppy Sam. He held my hand as I shared openly about my fears, disappointments and dreams. He was ever bit the man that I had asked God for and he stood before me, waiting my reply. "Yes!" I said. "I would love to be your wife."

We're having a very intimate ceremony with just our kids in the Rose Garden in Salem, Oregon. The roses are beginning to bloom so I'm anticipating plenty of pictures with color splashing everywhere! We'll celebrate our lives together with the kids, at our new "old" house. It's a beautiful old house with plenty of memories and I'm looking forward to making many many more. In the near future, my twin sister and her family will be out and then, we'll have the reception. Located below is the gazebo where we'll say our vows.

I anticipate all of the firsts...the first holidays spent together, the first meal cooked in our home, even the first disagreement because in the midst of that, comes the joy of making up. I also have the joy of starting a new job and as the kids have reminded me, a new dog so that Selah won't be so lonely.

Scary but exciting all at the same time!

Things I've Learned Thursday..I mean, Friday

2011-06-17T10:06:00.000-07:00

1) There's nutria in Oregon and I saw one at least 5 feet away. If you ask me, he looked a little Big Foot Jr. but maybe a bit cuter. From what I hear though, the gross factor is the tail and I didn't see the tail.

2) I know my bangs are too long when I sneeze and my hair flies up and stands at attention.

3) If someone pees in a reservoir, the reservoir will be emptied to the cost of 33k. (I bet if they added up the human pee vs the pee of flies, they'd find that there's more fly pee there than human.

4) When I'm editing or intensely figuring out a problem, I talk aloud to myself and it's not usually a small, quiet voice.

5) The men's bathroom is public places has got to be the worst, disgusting place to be, EVER!!! I feel sick just thinking about it.

6) Once I get a song stuck in my head, it's really STUCK!! Nothing like having Katie Perry's song Fireworks being whistled, hummed and sung.

7) Now that Sam is gone, the kitty Amelie and Selah, the shih tzu are now Girls Gone Wild. They are taking over my bed and my closet and bathroom sink.

8) I'm quickly irritated by certain radio promos.One of them being the Walmart commercials..."Hi my name is Robin..." Ugh! It was endearing to hear Robin's story the first time. Then the second time was still a bit touching but I'm so over it!!

9) I still love children's books that end with, "And they lived happily ever after..."

10) It makes me sad that I can't see my father on Father's day this year. North Carolina feels like it's a million miles away!

What have you learned?

Loving my Mystery Man

2011-06-14T07:01:00.000-07:00

Every morning, I have the joy of starting my day out by reading the blog (i)ncourage

The posts always loudly clang in my ears sometimes, causing me to nod my head into Shaken Lady syndrome and other times, tears fill my eyes.

The post today invited us all to share about our mysterious man. I thought to myself, "I have one of THOSE!!!" and knew that this was a post meant for me.

My mysterious/mystery man came into my life when I least expected it, yet desired it. I longed for a man that I could trust, one that I could laugh with, share with, travel the roads with, worship with and more than anything, dream dreams with. In my mysterious man, I found that and more.

I found that my mystery man has a huge heart for love, especially for me and for his kids. He amazes me as he holds them in his lap, gets on all fours and give them horseback rides, appeases their hearts for endless Bubble Tape, listens to his teen son share the excitement of his day, including encouraging him to be the best he can be.

My mystery man is soft spoken but allows me to be goofy, silly and then comes out with something goofy to match mine or one up my "goofy".

My mystery man never hangs up the phone without telling me that he loves me.

My mystery man has such a heart for God and has invited me on his ministry journey as a pastor.

My mystery man enjoys spending time around my girls and their Boos, intrigued and proud of the things that they are passionate about.

My mystery man doesn't mind getting dirty, watching chick flicks with me or with the his daughers (iCarly), holding my hand and being affectionate with me because he knows how much I like that.

My mystery man has gained strength from his past and brings to me wisdom, and together, we make an incredible blend. He is the jelly in my peanut butter sandwich.

My mystery man is wise, honest and reflective and a listener, never saying, "I told you so."

My mystery man is the one that I will spend the rest of my life with, loving, cherishing and laughing together in this thing we call "life".

He's not a mystery to me - he is a gift, a precious one at that.

And on, July 2nd...yep....in a few weeks..

he will be my husband.

Together, we will begin our life long adventure!

Tell me about your mysterious man/woman.

Things I've Learned Thursday...or is it Friday??

2011-06-10T10:30:00.001-07:00

1) The coolest thing is meeting another twin who validates that it's not "weird" to talk to your twin sis 4 times in a day and then watch a tv show together while on the phone.

2) I have a newly discovered medical condition called Musical Tourette's. I break out into singing without warning, especially in stressful situations. Singing beats screaming!

3) Lover Boo talks to hisself. The funny thing is, I heard him answer back. (He may totally deny this but I know what I heard!)

4) Librarians no longer stress the importance of kids talking quietly or using inside voices. What happened to, "Quiet please?"

5) I must be clueless because I have no idea who Weiner is and what he did.

6) Bees, in their small little life times, only produce 1/12 of a teaspoon of honey. Talk about being "productive". I am so glad that they have something else they are famous for such as the "birds and the bees".

7) As the Fed Ex truck drove past me, I discovered one thing...I like the smell of diesel fuel.

8) The internet strikes again! After reading that there was a cat here in Oregon that contracted Bubonic Plague, I researched the symptoms. I discovered that the pain in the back of my neck closely resembled the plague so I diagnosed myself. Thankfully, it was only a three day bout of BP.

9) Lately, one of my favorite phrases has been, (In my best country accent), "Well, I'll be darned!"

10) I've got a new job and in two weeks, I'll be wearing a different hat! I'm so excited!!!

What have you learned?

My Baby Girl is 22

2011-06-06T23:14:00.000-07:00

Geez, the time has flown by so fast. It seems like just yesterday, I was welcoming you into the world with a "Hi, Baby Girl". You were beautiful then and are even more beautiful now. You've had some pretty interesting adventures in your life time and I anticipate many more to come.

I cherish the memories of your childhood...the chuckle you always gave when I bumped you up and down on my knee and said, "Yeehaw, ridin' on Cowboy!" Or, the many times I sang, "Hi my name is Joe and I work in a button factory..." One thing remains true to this day, you are one easily amused girl! (And for that, I'm thankful.)

You make my heart smile as I realize how many adventures we've shared along the way. I'm thankful to have you as a traveling navigator while driving you to gymnastics and back each day. Some of the trips were mighty scary but you were tough enough and didn't scream, "We're going to die today in this snow storm!"

I will never forget how you went against the doctor's orders and went after a blanket while I was in the hospital, burning up with a fever. No, it wasn't in my best interest but I believe that it was your love that pulled me through.

Thank you for teaching me to have a never ending love for nature, life and all things strange but pretty. It's because of you that I see beauty in things never having seen before as beautiful.

I anticipate the joy to come as you and One Day Soon Son In Boo prepare to spend the rest of your lives together. For now, I'm blessed watching you dream and fill your life with the joy of gummy worms, music, baking, laughter and so much more.

I love you, my sweet Jarebear! Have a wonderful birthday! Twenty two is just the beginning of many more cool things to come!

Things I've Learned Thursday

2011-06-01T22:45:00.000-07:00

I have been missing all of you. Life has been way busier than I'd like but hoping to see it slow down within the next two months. A big surprise is on the horizon....but in the meantime, here are the things I've learned...

1) When Mama said there'd be days like this, she wasn't kidding.

2) Sugar is a hallucinogenic to ants. When I open up the sugar canister, the ants are all sprawled out, with dream clouds circling over their heads. The moment I shake it, they wake up and look as if they are saying, "Hey! Who turned on the lights?"

3) Even perfectly good flowers have to be thrown away at an unmentioned store because they are considered less than perfect. (I'm willing to dumpster dive just to take home a few bouquets.)

4) Sweetened condensed milk on a peanut butter sandwich is messy but delicious.

5) I will never learn to spell the word, h'or deurvs. (See!?!?!)

6) There's no such thing as making time. It's all about making time.

7) Flunking the written Oregon DMV test is more humiliating than forgetting my wallet with a cart full of groceries at the check out.

8) One more month until something wonderful happens. I'll give you a hint...my twin sister is coming out!

9) I've done really good not complaining about the rain in Oregon but I'm really anticipating the sunshine and warm summer days.

10) I'm home!

What have you learned?

I Looked At Myself

2011-05-24T06:46:00.000-07:00

I did something scary yesterday.

Something I really don't do or for that matter, like to do.

I LOOKED AT MYSELF.

Without any clothes on (getting ready to hop into the shower), I took a look and surveyed what I would call "the damage".

I saw wrinkles and dimples and scratches and fat, OH MY! I saw a tummy that could use plenty of sit ups and boobs that were no longer vibrant with life but sagging from age. I saw beauty marks that have appeared out of nowhere. But I saw ME!

I realized that in spite of my disappointment of what I looked like in that mirror, I am a work in progress and always will be. I will never be content with the way I look on the outside. I will never be perfectly content with my hair, my legs, my stomach, my toes or even my arm pits. I can use what I've got to make it better or I can sit back and become complacent, thinking, "I am who I am and God loves me just the same".

So much of my life I've spent worrying about the outside of me but not realizing that what matters the most is my insides. It's like, as much as I love Oreo Double Stuff cookies, my most favorite part is the insides.

Married Boo came in the door the other day wearing a beautiful headwrap/turban. The first words out of my mouth before I even thought about it was, "So, what's with the turban? Are you seriously wearing it or just joking?" The minute I said it, I stepped back and really saw how beautiful she looked. The colors of the wrap splashed against the tone of her skin and her gorgeous eyes. What made it even more beautiful was her confidence. She WORE that and made it stunning! Not only that, I know who she is on the inside..honest, loving, caring, joyful and faithful.

How do I stop identifying myself or others by their outsides first? I take a long hard look on the insides - the inners as some folks like to call it.

Oh yeah, I have some work ahead of me on the outside but even more work on the inside. Thankfully, there's plenty of do overs in God's eyes.

Do you look on the inside or the outside?

We all have to go sometime

2011-05-16T20:40:00.000-07:00

My twin sis and I have had many close "brushes with death". At least, to us, they were "close brushes". One day, we were in our room, practicing for our "stage debut aka becoming famous singers. I picked up the closest thing to a drum stick and began to bang. What was it that I picked up???? A thermometer. I banged and we sang. Suddenly, I noticed silver balls resembling bb's on the floor. I bent down to pick one up and it split into 4 more smaller balls. Wow! I called my sis over to see the "magical bb's" on the floor, not realizing that those "bb's" were actually mercury from the thermometer. We touched and watched them split, wanting to see how many smaller balls they'd produce. One of us brainiacs then decided to figure out what those magic balls were and where they came from. Left sitting on the chord organ was the broken thermometer. Oh man! The atmosphere changed. How many times had our mom told us about people dying of mercury poisoning? Countless times. Suddenly, our lives began to flash before our eyes. Before really planning out the end of our lives, I went in to verify our imminent deaths.

"Mommy, could you die if you touched mercury from a thermometer?" I asked.

"Mercury is highly poisonous so yes, you could die, she replied.

I walked back into the room we shared, tears in my eyes. I didn't even have to say it. We were going to die. I ran and got the broom and it took almost an hour to get those balls up because every time the bristles of the broom touched the mercury, it split again and again. Then, we sat with our pens and paper and began to write our wills. The sad thing was that my sister and I had always agreed that we would will each other everything we owned so who gets what if we both died at the same time? We solved that by deciding that if I went first, she'd get my treasures and then, it would be up to her to decide who would get both of our things. Problem solved, we sat there, checking for signs that we were turning blue or having problems breathing. Quietly, we waited. Our mom called us in for dinner and we ate, quietly. Later, we went to bed, still waiting and then when we woke up the next morning, we both decided that God had healed us and that somehow, it just wasn't our time to die.

Another time, when my twin sis and I lost our beloved sea turtle, we had a tearful memorial service and then buried him. A day later, we just couldn't wait. We wanted to see if he was in heaven. We dug and dug until, what we saw his turtle corpse. We buried it back, thinking that maybe, just maybe, he needed a few days to get to where he was going.

I wish I had that same childlike innocence when it comes to death. How simple it would be to will your loved one your stuff and say goodbye and wait or bury it in the ground, dig it back up, then wait? But that's not the way life is. After losing Sam, my shih tzu, I discovered that I don't handle death very well at all. I can't face seeing the shell of what once held life. I can't imagine having to say goodbye, even if it's for a little while.

One thing I've learned when addressing someone who's had a loss is that "sorry" is a wonderful thing to say but it doesn't bring your loved one back.

"He's no longer in pain." True but it doesn't take away missing him.

Or, "You can always get another one." I could but he/she will never replace the one that stole my heart.

So, due to the way I feel about death, I've decided (yes my girls already are aware of this too) that I want to be stuffed. I want one hand formed into a wave so that I'll always be able to say, "hello". Both girls can "share" me. I can spend 6 months with one and then 6 months with the other. I'd be the life of every party and they could ride the diamond lane without a second thought. I'd also tape some of my favorite says and songs so that when they get to missing me some, they can just push a button and I'll sing, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine..."

Maybe, just maybe, death won't be so tough.

My heart has broken

2011-05-08T23:04:00.001-07:00

I lost my precious boy, Sam on Saturday to liver cancer. As sudden as it was....he was fine last Sunday and by Monday, he was struggling. I have so many wishes.

I wish I could've held him and kissed him a million more times.

I wish I would've been able to play with him and his squeak squeak instead of being absorbed in the typical busyness of life.

I wish I would've told him over and over again how much he changed my life.

Nine years ago, Sam was etched into my heart. I called him the Million Dollar Dog because he had so many close brushes with death, yet, he was resilient and tough. He gave and gave, even when at times, I knew he was too tired to give.

My Termite Inspector was and will be missed beyond words. I really don't know how I will find life okay without him because he was such an integral part of my heart.

For now, all I can say is I love you, My Sam. You are my number one boy!

Then there were...ten

2011-05-01T22:22:00.000-07:00

The joy in finding someone special has been amazing and exhilarating and more than anything, fun. After meeting some horrific toads, I can easily say that the prince has arrived. Not Prince as in Purple Rain but the prince as in someone that I am cherishing spending time with. We are enjoying the chance to develop not only a friendship but build on our strengths and work together on our weaknesses. We both know that God has a sense of humor because with his 4 and my two + two bonus son in law and soon to be son in law, it makes for a very full heart.

We have laughed so much in the last few weeks, more than I ever thought possible. I have even shed tears of joy. I find that I wake up smiling and fall asleep, smiling. If this is what it's all about, then I'm head over heels, anticipating the other surprises along the way.

Last year, this same time, I was wondering where it was that I was supposed to be. I questioned my purpose, my desires and most of all, direction. Being unemployed, I faced the fears of the unknown. Since then, I've come full circle in seeing His blessings in my life.

I look forward to the adventures to come, not fearing what lies ahead. With 10, do you get egg rolls???

Breathe

2011-04-26T22:13:00.001-07:00

I've learned that I fail miserably at breathing. Yes, breathing. I didn't realize that I did until I went to my pulmonologist who asked, "Why are you holding your breath?" I told him that I WASN'T holding my breath, I was breathing. He said, "You THINK you're breathing but there's hardly any air coming in or going out. So, you decide - are you breathing?"

I think it began when I was little. I was an allergic kind of kid. I looked at grass and I grew welts. I wheezed and sniffed and sneezed for months throughout the year. I got used to my chest hurting and to compensate for that hurt, I taught myself how to breathe, my way. So, years later, I'm told that my way is like barely living. I'm killing my lungs and my heart and preventing healthy blood flow, all because of my very own, self taught breathing style.

Life has been like that for me too. I sucked at times when things got tough early in my life by just being and not doing. I thought that it was at least adequate enough to get by. I settled for what was because it was what I knew and it was in my comfort zone.

The more I became conscious of how I breathed or actually, "didn't breathe", I forced myself to fully take in air and slowly let it out. I found out something in the process....by being conscious of breathing, it gave me a chance to relax and focus.

By being aware of how much I was bypassing the chance to take risks and leave the normal and go for adventure, I found exhilaration and wonder and excitement. Now, I seek out abnormal, looking for excuses to make each day different.

Oh and the breathing? I still sometimes forget and hold my breath but I'm getting better at it, each and every day.

Things I've Learned Thursday...for Friday

2011-04-22T13:53:00.000-07:00

1) Bringing home a date for the first time to meet my kids doesn't break a sweat as much as him meeting my puppies for the first time. I had to warn him to wear thick socks just in case.

2) The most annoying sound in the world is someone popping their gum. The sad thing is that they don't hear themselves.

3) I cried inside when I heard about a three year old walking around in 3 inch tiger heels and callling her mom the B word. What is our world coming to?

4) Spring rain is an oxymoron, right????

5) I have fat behind my neck that I didn't know that I had. Maybe that's why my head doesn't turn completely around.

6) Slugs are homeless snails.. Does anyone know where they lay their heads?

7) Denny's is celebrating bacon and has a maple bacon ice cream sundae...sounds interesting to me.

8) Kittens love bubbles, and dog food and opening up closets and hiding and putting their tails in your face when you're trying to sleep. Oh, and kittens also like to pretend that they have no comprehension of what you're saying. Behind those squinty eyes is a kitty that's laughing hysterically.

9) I love to answer a question with a question to irritate some people. (Sorry to Married Boo and Son In Boo, I just can't help it???)

10) Eating bugs is highly nutritious. But why??

What have you learned?

On Being....Happily Married

2011-04-19T21:33:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it's easy to believe that there's no happy ending stories left to share but I've witnessed the love between my twin sister and my brother in law and they are a true inspiration. They've celebrate 26 years of marriage and still can say that they are the best of friends.

1) At what moment did you know that he/she was the one that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?

Syrone- We were just freshmen in high school when Michael and I first met. Within a few days, he gave me a note to that basically said that he liked me, and wanted to know if I would go with him. I thought he was a bit goofy, but after a few late night phone conversations, I agreed to “go with him.” During one of our long conversations, he started talking about how one day we would get married and have kids… I thought he was nuts since we were only 14 years old. We eventually broke up but ended up bumping into each other several years after graduation. I was shocked to see that my little, geeky high school boyfriend had become quite a handsome young man. (I literally felt butterflies as we talked.). He called me the next day, and asked me out. Within a few months we were engaged and finally married. He was right all along.

Michael- It had to be about halfway through our freshmen year in high school. It was kind of interesting because I really hadn’t kissed her yet but I told her that she was going to marry me. I just knew it was going to happen one day. The funny thing is that I was always able to tell the twins apart. I knew Syrone was the one I was going to marry.

2) During the wedding ceremony, Michael, a memory that stays etched in my mind is you crying as you walked down the aisle as husband and wife. What were the tears for?

Michael- They were tears of joy because I never thought the day would actually come. I was feeling overjoyed and overwhelmed at the same time. It was surreal.

3) What has been the toughest challenge in your marriage?

Syrone- The most difficult challenge has been uniting our differences. Michael is spontaneous and pretty impulsive while I like to take a little time to think things through. Through the years we’ve managed to find a good balance which keeps things more interesting.

Michael- In certain aspects my wife and I are different but it’s those differences that make our marriage special. We kind of balance each other out.

4) Do you think sharing things together is just as important as having time spent apart? If so, what are the things you look forward to together? What is your favorite alone time thing to do?

Syrone- I think a big factor in our relationship is recognizing that there are times that we enjoy being together whether it be tooling around for yard sales, wine tasting or just taking in a jazz concert, but there are also times when we need time to ourselves. It gives us a chance to refuel. Whenever we spend any time a part, I can’t wait to see him.

Michael- I think every couple needs to spend time together because that’s how you grow. I love the simple things that I do with my wife like wine tasting, taking the dogs for walks, or even more than that, just sitting down together and watching TV. I believe it’s true that the heart grows fonder when you’ve been away from the one you love for a short while.

5) How do you argue and then find your way back afterwards?

Syrone- We don’t necessarily argue, but there are times that we disagree. Usually, he and I will take a little time to step away from the situation to think things through. After awhile, we’re both ready to sit and calmly discuss things. Once it’s resolved, it’s over. It’s all about forgiveness and squelching stubborn pride..

Michael- We don’t actually argue. It’s kind of like we both take a position and fight for it. In the end we remember what brought us together in the first place. It gives a whole new perspective on things..

6) Syrone describes your marriage as her being Lucy and you being Ricky, Michael. Is that the perfect analogy or do you find that you resemble another couple?

Michael- I don’t know about that but I can honestly say that I’m totally crazy for Syrone and the adventures we share together..

7) How important is romance in your relationship?

Syrone- It’s very important. Sometimes just being together, or watching a movie can be romantic. It’s how we use each moment that we’re given to connect with each other in a more intimate way. Michael is wonderful about bringing me flowers and buying my favorite candy but I also appreciate the quick text messages that he sends telling me that he misses me.

Michael- Hello?? I’m a man. It’s obviously pretty important.

8) What is one moment that stands out in your relationship more than any other memories?

Syrone- Wow, that’s a hard one. I remember when he first proposed to me. I remember the tears in his eyes, and how he got down on one knee. I also remember the look in his eyes as I walked towards him on our wedding day, or when he found out he was going to be a daddy for the first time. Those memories are priceless.

Michael- One that stands out to me was on our 5th wedding anniversary when my wife surprised me with a cruise. She took the time to plan, organize and even managed to get me off on vacation. It was a huge surprise and a wonderful vacation.

9) What advice would you give to newlyweds who are just starting their lives together?

Syrone- Pick and choose your battles. When we first got married we had to adjust and adapt to being a couple. We fought over petty things back then, but through the years we’ve learned not to stress out over small things. We cherish each day and view each moment together as a precious gift from God.

Michael- Cherish the simple things. Cherish your time together and don’t worry so much about “stuff” because love will produce greater things than stuff could ever provide.

10) If you could leave your mark on the world by doing something together, what would that be?

Syrone- I’m not sure but we’re both open to whatever God has in store for us. Every day with Michael is special and adventurous. I hope we leave a good impression wherever we go.

Michael- I kind of think we have left our mark on the world with our children…raising them to be happy, loving, God-fearing, responsible adults is our legacy.

Things I've Learned Thursday

2011-04-14T18:15:00.001-07:00

1) Eating yogurt with a fork is like eating jello with a spoon. Note to self, always carry a spare spoon around.

2) Just because guys have wee wees doesn't give them the reason to pull over and pee outside their car (as witnessed by moi) just because they can.

3) Dr. Seuss said, "You'll miss the best things if you keep your eyes shut." So true. Do you know how many people and things were meant to be but they were passed by without a thought? I'm keeping my eyes wide open.

4) My favorite tree here in Oregon is the Saucer Magnolia. Gorgeous!!

5) Geese mate for life. Saturday, I saw a long goose walking around by his little lonesome and I actually felt tears well up in my eyes at the thought of him being alone. I decided that I'm looking for a mate for him...a la Goose Bachelor.

6) There's something about my music tastes that must be telling off on me. I know all the words to Taylor Swift's You Belong With Me.

7) I get so grossed out when guys spit. Do they just have an extra enormous amount of spit that they have to get rid of at the very moment. Why can't they just swallow it?

8) I just love having Married Boo and Son In Boo close by because when she cooks, she overcooks just enough to share so that I don't have to cook.

9) When you ask, God answers.

10) I should double check my date stamp to make sure it's correct. I discovered at the end of the day that I was stamping every document 4/41/11.

What have you learned?

Sitting on the Hump

2011-04-11T18:10:00.000-07:00

Growing up, my dad drove quite a few VW bugs. He would drive one until there was so many miles on it, he'd trade it in for another. With a family of 5, and three girls, someone always had to sit on the hump when we went places together. You know, the "hump" where the center of the seat divides the one side of the passener seat from the other. One thing for sure - the hump wasn't the most comfy spot at all. Many times, I remember yelling a different version of "shotgun" just to be guaranteed I got a window seat. Whoever called, "I got the window" usually got one of the window seats. But, on those days when there was an extra person in the back seat, one of us had to sit in the very back - you know, the small, cramped space my sis and I called the "back back". Hard to believe that both my twin and I fit perfectly in the back back. In fact, I think it was a better seat than even the "hump".

Life is like that sometimes. You get the window or sometimes, unfortunately, the hump. When I'm sitting on the hump, I try to remember a few things. One: humps don't last always. Some how, life changes and the next trip may be filled with a cool window view. Then, when you think it can't get any worst, you're are given the privileged spot of the back back. Knees scrunched almost to your chest, there's something exhilarating about being placed in a pretzel position with your twin sister bumping along with you. So, when you're experiencing those back back moments, what better way to get through it than with a friend who not only shares your pain but pats your back and says, "This too shall pass".

Years ago, I was given a shih tzu puppy, Samson. He was the baby I yearned for and I carried him around with me, even in a baby snuggie just so that he could feel safe. After a day, Samson began to get sick. He drooped and lacked energy. I called the vet and he suggested Pepto Bismo until he could see him the next day. I stayed up with Samson that night, watching him, holding him, talking to him. He began to perk up and just when I thought th worst was over, he went back to delirious again. I held him in my arms as we rushed to the animal hospital. I believed somehow, the vet would give him a shot and he'd miraculously perk up and pull through. That didn't happen. Within 3 minutes of arriving, my Samson died. I cried wondering what it was that I did or didn't do. Holding Samson's blanket, I walked back inside the house, numb. Then, there was a knock on the door. My neighbor and good friend had blessed me with a card and small flowering plant that she called the Samson plant. I planted it, watered it, nurtured it, wanting so much to feel happy again. The happiness came when the first flowers bloomed on Samson's plant. Beautiful, purple flowers. I realized at that moment that the flowers were God's way of reminding me that sometimes, I sit on the hump but on the ride back home, I may get a window view.

Things I've Learned Thursday

2011-04-07T18:00:00.000-07:00

1) Wearing shoes that are too tight is like being in labor with a 10 pound baby.

2) Dog poop should be used for undercover purposes. I swear that it remains invisible until the footprints are recognized on the carpet, at least 15 minutes later.

3) Peach cobbler is a special way to share my love.

4) I'm easily amused by nightcrawlers when it's raining. They crawl around like rain is the best thing since coffee grounds.

5) The best feeling in the world is to discover my writing voice once again. It's been almost three years since I wrote a poem. I had hit writer's block head on in that area.

6) My favorite word (used often) in - the last few weeks has been "oops".

7) Folks in Oregon are much more comfy in a good pair of jeans.

8) I feel guilty when I have a conversation with someone and I can't understand them because they either have a deep accent or a speech impediment. I spoke to a client in China and we carried on a conversation on the phone for 10 minutes and most of it was spent with me saying, "Can you repeat that again? I'm not sure if I understood you." She was so very sweet and took it all in stride. Me? I felt terrible.

9) The next time I dream that I can't find my car in the parking lot (which I dream at least 12 times a year or more), I'm going to remind myself that I can always take a cab.

10) Once I get attached to you, you are given a nickname. I guess that's why my dog, Sam has a billion and one of them. One of his new nicknames is Toejam Sam. Trust me, he rightfully owns that nickname.

What have you learned?

The Real Deal on Online Dating

2011-04-03T21:18:00.000-07:00

It's not what it's cracked up to be.

There are times when I feel extremely old and on the topic of dating, I feel antiquated. I truly believe that dating was so much easier back in the 80's where technology didn't overshadow happenstance of meeting that special someone. But, then again, I didn't think I'd be 47 years old and single. Don't get me wrong, I embrace my singleness but I'm also a firm believer in the three strand chord...you know..When two gets cold, they can snuggle up and keep warm. (my own paraphrashing and then this)..a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. That's what I would love to have in my life but in a sea of fish that are all swimming in different directions, it can be amusing, shocking and utterly sad.

First, you sign up and create a profile. Depending on the site, you can have guided assistance by answering questions which help to create or you can "free write", expressing what you think or want others to think you think. Here's a few examples of profiles I've stumbled on:

1) Prince Charming is happily married but looking for a beautiful princess. Yes, the wife knows and also approves those that are interested. Polyamorous is totally allowed.

2) Looking for a lady love. Must not be fat or thick. I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings but I don't want to be seen with anyone fat. Petite women only. Send me a recent picture.

3) Bungee jumping, white rapids riding, wave jumping, parachute jumping wild woman wanted. No couch potatoes allowed. I don't watch television or sit for long periods of time so if you do, please don't bother responding.

4) I lik evebodi and think I wil find my butter half on here. Canit be u?

Or how about those screen names??

Freindly_guy (screams loudly..."I can't spell".

theonemomwarnedyouabout....and that makes me want to "date" you?

deadbeforexmas...What a positive person

onefyneman.....aren't we confident?

marriedbutlooking...is that why your picture isn't on display?

What about the pictures??? You don't even want to know some of the pictures that have left me rolling on the floor, laughing. Why do guys think that flexing their muscles or taking a picture of themselves in a bathtub is appealing? Or how about the pictures taken in 1980 when they had hair and looked to be about 17? Then there's the ones that post pictures of them with their arm around some babe and claim, "That's my sister" but the pose screams, "ex".

Then, after talking a bit back and forth, the next step is hearing his voice on the phone for the first time. The story I'm about to relay is not a slap against the guy that I spoke to...(notice the past tense). I know he loves the Lord...so do I but he was...well...a bit exuberant and...well...didn't come up for air to literally talk with me. Every sentence ended in a "praise God" or "hallelujah". He talked about someone that was crazy and before I had a chance to utter a response, he said, "I'm going to pray for her right now...heavenly Father..." He talked non-stop about himself and even when I threw in that I had a not so good day, he ignored it and continued to talk. The only way I could get his attention was to butt in and say, "I hate to interrupt you but I just walked in from work and I haven't even put my stuff down yet." He sounded offended and hung up abruptly. He didn't call again. Hallelujah!

Another guy, bless his heart, was sweet but if I closed my eyes, I could swear I was hanging with Richard Simmons. Everything about him reminded me of Sweatin' to the Oldies. In fact, it messed with me so much that I finally had to have a talk with myself to figure out what it was that really wasn't clicking. He walked me to my car and looked like he wanted to kiss me goodbye but you know what? I couldn't. I'm glad I didn't. I think I would've had dreams of kissing Richard Simmons for the rest of my life.

Then there was the guy that listed on his profile that he was divorced but when I asked how long he was divorced, he announced that he was actually still married and his divorce was filed 3 weeks ago. In that same conversation he said, "Sometimes, I wonder if God is telling me that I need to make my marriage work BUT I don't want it to." My mind burned rubber as I hung up the phone.

Another guy had major baby mama drama. It got to a point where I considered giving him a bill for my psychiatric time.

Not all dates have been bad. I have met some nice guys but they just weren't my type. My type??? Someone that gets me completely! Shares my beliefs in God, loves to laugh cause trust me, there is laughter when you're around me, values who I am and doesn't think that they can change me into being they way they want me to be. I am me and after 47 years, I will always be me.

I actually had a great date this evening but I'm keeping that one between him and I to see where it goes from here. In the meantime, I'm not losing any sleep!

Things I've Learned Thursday...I mean...Friday

2011-04-01T07:29:00.001-07:00

1) I'm not a linear person. It used to be hard for me to admit but I realize that it's actually a good thing. I've learned to draw straight lines but when it comes to life, I'm more of a zigzag, squiggly kind of girl.

2) Windex works better than Raid when it comes to getting rid of ants.

3) Wasabi peas are delicious! There's just something about the spicy mixed with good.

4) You can lose a cobra although I personally think that the cobra was never lost. If it had even ended up in the parking lot, it would've swallowed a VW bug. All's well that ends well.

5) April 1st always reminds me of when my twin sis and I switched classes. We ran through the logistics so good that when it came time for the teacher to "notice", neither of them did. Before the end of class, we both announced, "April Fool's".

6) I have a hard time determining when someone is really homeless and in need of money or is just scamming people willing to hand over a buck.
There's a guy that sits at the on ramp of the freeway, even in the rain. He has a sign that reads, "Lost my wife, my job,my house, my car, my 401K and my mind, can you please help? I don't know if he's sincere or not.

7) There's a 101 ways to eat popcorn and lately, it's been with taco seasoning and melted cheese. Sometimes popcorn for dinner soothes my soul.

8) I have the most bizarrest dreams ever. The other night I dreamed that I was at a sporting event, holding a little girl in my lap and dropped her. When I picked her up, she turned into a hot dog. Anyone know what that dream meant??

9) Singing while trying to save someone's life, Glee style as witnessed on Grey's Anatomy last night, was definitely disturbing to my eyes and ears.

10) Daffodils popping up in unusual places makes me smile.

What have you learned?

True Confessions

2011-03-27T21:36:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I have the desire to confess mindless trivial things but I've learned to write spontaneously so here goes...

My true confessions...

1) I only work because I need the money. I don't have a passion for what I'm doing at all. I get anxiety on Sunday night at the thought of the start of another work week.

2) I almost cried today because I couldn't beat a level on Donkey Kong Country. (Yes, it's my stress reliever.)

3) I enjoy coming out with something hilarious, just because I love hearing my kids laugh.

4) I fear growing old. I know it's inevitable but I still don't like it.

5) I make up songs to sing to my dogs. I have a Go Potty song, a Sam song, a lullaby and more.

6) I'm so very slow to anger that I get mad at myself for not allowing myself to get angry.

7) I'm doubting I'll ever find true love again.

8) I can't sleep unless I'm holding on to my favorite pillow.

9) I totally hate when someone steals my ink pen off my desk so I put my name on it.

10) I am a germphobe so when someone sneezes or coughs in the area that I'm in, I usually hold my breath until I think the germs have dissipated.

Do you have anything you'd like to confess? Spill it here!!

Things I've Learned Thursday

2011-03-23T22:43:00.001-07:00

1) I've been in Oregon for 6 months now and I still get lost going home.

2) Using Oovoo is better than skype. We made my parents day as they got to chat with not only myself and my daughter but my sister and her kids, via Oovoo. All three of us in different states, yet, we were carrying on a conversation together like we were all in the same room. The only thing we couldn't do is hug one another.

3) I know it's going to be a good day when I hop out of bed and my hair looks just the way I want it without having to run a comb through it.

4) I need to have a meeting with the ant/tour director that booked my kitchen countertop as their get away resort. They are enjoying their saunas by the stove, getting their swim on in the sink and drying off by the dishwasher.

5) I'm still trying to figure out how Elizabeth Taylor was married 8 times. That's 8 times trying to adjust to married life. That's 8 I do's. Wow! Amazing!

6) Pink is the new white, thanks to the red sweater I washed with my light colored clothes. Well, at least I'm ready for the spring.

7) A fire truck parked in front of the house makes my heart skip a beat. But, the thought of having a fire station on my street with hot firemen makes my skip even faster. (Yes, they are building a neighborhood station on my street and I hope that from my room window, I have an eye view.)

8) I don't suffer from buyer's remorse - I suffer from, "I should've bought it when I had the chance" remorse.

9) When applying for a job, one should not bring their two kids and a relative; proceed to all individually ask to use the bathroom and then raid the candy bowl.

10) Dog treats are disgustingly nasty. (Don't ask.)

What have you learned?

Creatively Speechless

2011-03-20T21:39:00.000-07:00

I remember going to Warner Bros. studios and seeing this picture in a frame and for some reason, it brought tears to my eyes. There was something about knowing that the "voice" behind those characters would no longer speak for them.

Your voice conveys so much.

I have struggled with the phenomenon of texting and even blogging at times. I'm a listener that enjoys hearing the voice behind the person. Words can be easily misconstrued while texting and even blogging but hearing the voice, brings out realness and for the most part, sincerity. I can hear a person's smile in their voice. I love hearing laughter, whether on the phone or in person.

There's a reason that kids can't read at a certain age...because listening, hearing, imitating, talking, singing...it's so important.

I was talking to a friend that said that he knew that his marriage was in trouble when he and his wife were in the same room, at least 10 feet away, and instead of talking to one another, they were sending each other emails. That's sad.

Lately, I've found myself struggling with writing a blog post. My mind wanders away to people that are struggling in Japan, Libya and in our own country. I feel like the cartoon characters - speechless. I am praying that in the midst of all that goes on around me, that I will find my voice and it will be one of encouragement, support and love and most of all, hope.

But for now, I'm speechless.

Men Are Little Boys Wearing Big Boy Shoes

2011-03-15T20:30:00.000-07:00

You tell me...Am I right or wrong?

This is what I'm talking about:

When I owned my daycare/preschool, the little boys would always be the first to pick up a toy and hoist it over their heads and declare, "See, I'm strong!" They were also the first ones to come running in to show me their "bleed" and then run back outside to "pop a wheelie" on the Big Wheel again. Even when boys are older, they do their best to show everyone around them that they "got this" and will never admit defeat.

When the little boys turn into big boys, they still seem to carry with them that same attitude. Grown up boys tend to boast about their accomplishments great or small such as, "I ate 6 tacos and still went and finished 12 hot wings from KFC." Why?? Or how about the boast of, "That's nothing! I not only broke my wrist but sprained my elbow and still continued to do X,Y,Z..." Or this, it may be 12 degrees below zero outside but their response? "I'm not cold. That's why I'm wearing shorts."

How are we as women supposed to respond? At my daycare, I would respond with, "Wow! You sure are strong!" only to have three other little boys hoisting tricycles over their heads and flexing their muscles." Or, the reply could be, "Now what would make you want to eat that many tacos and wings in one sitting? Don't you dare complain about having a stomache ache!"

Which brings me to this...why do guys, the toughest of tough guys, get sick and turn into little boys again? It's the only time where they let their tough, "I can pick up a car all by myself" attitude fly out the window.

Recently, a friend of mine went through grueling surgery that affected her bowel and womenly parts. It involved her having to using an ostomy bag for a few months and eating baby food for 3 weeks. Not once did she complain about her situation. (Trust me, I would've been complaining and bawling at the thought of it all.) She took it all in stride. Yet, her husband just had shoulder surgery and has been reduced to being a whiney boy all over again.

I think that men really never completely grow up, they just need to wear bigger shoes!

***Note, to my male readers, this was completely in fun...no male bashing here at all.

Things I'm Lovin' Thursday

2011-03-10T18:38:00.000-08:00

1) Hearing about my beautiful niece running like the wind for track and I'm missing her.

2) The Flinstones on a Saturday morning with a cup of coffee.

3) A bed!!! A REAL bed! Since August, I have been sleeping on an air mattress, that is, until Amelie the kitty dug her nails in and it sprung a leak. Waking up on the floor at 2:00 am wasn't in the plans for a Thursday. But, it happened for a reason because after sleeping on the floor for three days, I've got a bed.

4) Playing around with obnoxious phone salespeople that just don't take no for an answer. I make an effort to confuse them. Here's an example: I'm calling to speak to someone in your call center: Me: We don't have a call center. Her: Is there someone in charge in the senior level? Me: Senior level as in age? Her: No ma'am, I'm looking to speak to the call center rep. Me: We don't have a call center. Her: how about an IT person. Me: We don't have an it person either. We all go to whoever is available at the time and then we tag them and say, "You're it." Her: You're telling me you don't have a call center? Me: No call center here. Unless we have one and nobody sent me the memo. Her: Who handles your calls in call center? Me: We have telephones but no one makes calls from a place that looks like a call center. Her: Thank you for your time. Click.

5) The original Taco Flavored Doritos

6) This is the Stuff by Francesca Battestelli - It's been my life song the last few weeks.

7) This quote by Dr. Seuss: Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive that is Youer than You. - Dr. Seuss

8) Little reminders left behind of how unexpected surprises come my way. This came from Miss Kris and her adorable grandbabies who I'm sure had a great time playing on the couch that she gave to my daughter and I. I carry this in my purse as a reminder that He never fails.

9) The flowers blooming outside my house. The splash of color reminds me that spring is almost here!

10) The answer to prayers that the difficult person I've been dealing with has been nice and making my day much more pleasant.

What are you lovin' Tbursday?

No Name Calling Allowed

2011-03-03T19:53:00.000-08:00

My post, No One Has Permission To Steal My Joy is featured on Shanae's blog, Triumph and Tears, a place you will find joy in place of sadness. Head on over to her blog. You won't be disappointed.

*************************************************************************************************

I overheard this conversation between a little guy and his dad at Home Depot. He was holding a few items recently purchased and although it looked to be a bit heavy for him, he lagged behind, trying to be "big".

"Dad, Claire called me a baby. I not a baby."

His dad replied back. "Are you a baby?"

" Noooo!"

" Then you don't need to worry if she calls you one or not because you're not a baby."

I thought how hurt the little guy was to be called a "baby". I wanted to tell him, "Little one, this is just the beginning of life for you. At times, you will have your feelings hurt by people that call themselves friends. You may even have a marriage proposal turned down or have someone make fun of you because of the way you dress. Someone may poke fun at you for what or Who you stand up for. No, It doesn't feel good to be called a baby at the moment, but isn't it nice to know that you are someone's baby? You belong to someone and you are their baby.

Be Careful

2011-02-28T18:00:00.001-08:00

I have uttered those words probably even more than the words, "I love you". From the time my daughters were born, it became almost a mantra. When my oldest was walking (at 8 months old), I would yell, "Be careful" as she climbed up on tables, chairs, shelves, trees...you name it. I'm not sure if she actually heeded those words or even understood them.

When my youngest, Single Boo was born, there were a few medical issues that caused me to use those words frequently. We had to "be careful" when feeding her because certain foods just didn't quite digest right. We had to "be careful" when her tiny leg was put in a cast from a curvature in her leg. Even when the cast came off and she would walk or run, I'd yell, "Be careful" because she easily tripped over air or her own two feet. Wouldn't you know it, Single Boo became a gymnast - a really good one at that. One that had skills like somersalting on a 4 inch 4 foot high balance beam, backwards. "Be careful!" I would tell her before she walked into the gym. And I meant every word.

As a mom, I knew the dangers that could happen if Girl Boos weren't careful.

As they grew older and started making friends and eventually, dating, once more, I reminded them to "be careful". I didn't want them to date guys that would take advantage of their sweetness, their zest for life and their innocence. When they got their driver's licenses, before they walked out the door each day, I yelled, "be careful". And once again, I meant it.

What I realized after the billionth time of reminding them to "be careful" was that I wasn't telling them "don't do". I wanted them to experience the joys of trying new things as long as they knew that there could be risks involved. By reminding them to "be careful" I was actually telling them to SOAR, DANCE, LAUGH, ENTERTAIN, ENJOY, LOVE with pure delight but always know that in life, there can be bumps and bruises along the way - brace for them but never stop for fear of trying.

After I hung up from talking to my dad on the phone in North Carolina last night, I realized something. Every time we talk, he ends the call with, "Be careful." I now know that "Be Careful" also means, "I love you."

I'm Better Than This

2011-02-24T22:35:00.000-08:00

I have had a tough week....as you know from my "struggling" post. It all started when I discovered that ex-Boo had stolen money from my bank account. I not only felt foolish but angry and sad. It made me reflect on what it was that I saw in him in the first place.

I got lost in the "what could be" instead of the "what was". I failed to see that that "what was" wasn't pretty at all. Sure, he was handsome but the outer shell doesn't always reflect the inner heart. I kicked myself for being naive and making bad choices. But, I came up with the answer....I'm human but I'm better than this.

I will get past the shock of being used and stolen from. (Yes, the bank has been alerted about the fraud and then there's a police report as well.......)

It's just the heart that is wounded. How can someone hurt another without flinching or feeling the conviction of wrong doing?

On top of it, I cross paths daily with someone who is downright rude and hateful. My outer smile doesn't reflect the biting of the tongue that she brings out in me. I have cried tears from the stress of dealing with her day to day. Yet, somehow, I know that I am better than this.

No one has permission to steal my joy.

I have found that in spite of things that go wrong in my life, there are things that go right...many things.

Thanks to Miss Kris, she is blessing me and my daughter with much needed things that we left behind in California. No longer going to the laundromat will be the greatest thing ever. Also, having a couch to sit on and relax with...another blessing. It's blessings like those that remind me that I am better than this. I will not allow anyone to steal my joy.

The Me Project - The Blog Book Tour by Author Kathi LIpp

2011-02-21T20:24:00.000-08:00

Thank you all for how you uplifted me with words of encouragement, prayer and of course, your friendship. It's times like this that I'm reminded of how wonderful blogging and friendships really are.

To solidify it even more, I have the privilege to introduce to you Kathi Lipp's newest book, The Me Project. It couldn't have come at a better time. I anxiously awaited it's arrival in the mail and once it was in my hands, I got going on finding an accountability partner. My twin sis was and still is my accountability partner, reminding me to take time to hear God's voice as I dream dreams and to allow myself to be important and valued without excuses. We've both gotten much from this 21 day journey.

One of the projects that I enjoyed was the Not-To-Do List. I'm a list maker so being able to make a list of things that I didn't have to do or at least do perfectly was the best thing ever...an excuse to not feel guilty if I didn't bathe the dogs, dust and clean out the fridge.

I also enjoyed the chapter on Understanding the Things That Hold Us Back. I'm queen of being buried under things that prevent me from doing the things that I enjoy or following my heart in accomplishing a goal. Kathi tells us how break those things we procrastinate over into little bit size pieces and to face them in a way where they are easier to accomplish.

This article gives you a glimpse of what a wonderful, humorous, wise author Kathi is as she shows you how to Kick Start Living Your Dream.

Kick Start Living Your Dream -

The Me Project - 21 Days to Living the Life â€¨You’ve Always Wanted
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers
ISBN-10: 0736929665, ISBN-13: 978-0736929660
Release Date: February 1, 2011
Paperback: 224 pages, Retail: $12.99

Book Summary

(San Jose, CA) Has that rush to make (and break) New Year’s resolutions already waned? According to Daniel Pink, author of â€¨Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, taking small steps every day will not only help you stay committed to your goal, â€¨but will also help you ultimately achieve that goal when obstacles come up. Author Kathi Lipp wants you and your friends to live out those dreams—and have some fun along the way.

As women, we forget the goals and dreams of our younger years. The busyness of everyday life gets â€¨in the way. To-do lists replace goals. The Me Project provides women with fun and creative ways to bring back the sense of purpose and vitality that comes with living out the plans and dreams God has planted in our hearts. Kathi Lipp’s warm tone and laugh-out-loud humor motivates women to take daily steps toward intentional goals. The end result? We get back our lives and enjoy living in the confidence of a purposeful life in spite of our chaotic schedules.

This handy guide coaches women to do one simple thing toward achieving our goals each day for three weeks. A woman experiencing the exhilaration of a rediscovered life offers more as a wife, mother, friend, volunteer, career woman.

Finding the balance between living day-to-day with purpose while pursuing the passions God has placed in our hearts is a delicate pursuit. In this refreshing, insightful book, â€¨Kathi lays out a doable plan that makes sense and helps make our God-given dreams â€¨a reality. Never stop dreaming, because women who dare to dream do make the world â€¨a better place.

—Jean Blackmer
author of MomSense: A Common Sense Guide to Confident Mothering
Publishing Manager, MOPS International www.MOPS.org

Author Bio

Kathi Lipp

Kathi Lipp is a busy conference and retreat speaker, currently speaking each year to thousands of women throughout the United States. She is the author of The Husband Project and The Marriage Project, serves as food writer for Nickelodeon, and has had articles published in several magazines, including Today’s Christian Woman and Discipleship Journal. Kathi and her husband, Roger, live in California and are the parents of four teenagers and young adults. For more information visit her website: www.kathilipp.com

By leaving a comment on this blog post, one blog reader will be entered to win the grand prize below. On March 7th, 2011, Kathi will be drawing a name and the winner will be announced.

Grand Prize Giveaway:

Deluxe Starbucks Coffee Gift Basket

Three 2.5-oz. bags of Starbucks coffee
(Sumatra, House Blend, and French Roast)
Tazo black tea
Starbucks marshmallow cocoa
Almond roca
Almond roca buttercrunch toffee cookies
White chocolate and raspberry cookies
2 Starbucks mugs
Keepsake black bamboo basket

$62 value

Even if you don't leave a comment, I encourage you to pick up The Me Project. The book will be a great way to find a new you in 21 days.

Struggling

2011-02-20T22:25:00.000-08:00

Okay, my blog is supposed to be the place where I can be honest with myself as well as my blog followers so I've got a confession...I'm struggling. Emotionally, I can be happy and all smiles one minute and the next, I'm fighting back tears. So much hasn't been said here on the blog and I still can't go into some of the things that circle around my head due to how it will affect my day to day situation.

The last few days have been days of tears and anger and frustration. I'm human so shouting to God, "Why me?" seems to cross my mind more often than it should.

Since I was knee high to a grasshopper, I was taught that to hate is a very strong emotion so I very often choose not to use it but I've been hating a lot lately. Thankfully, God is able to remind me that more powerful than hate is love and He is the perfect example of that.

Worry has also been up close and personal for me lately. I find that I worry over little things and big things to a point that my focus is gone and my creativity has been zapped....perfect reason for lacking in blog posts.

In spite of all these emotions, I know that I'm not alone. I know some of you are going through tough times or have been through tough times. I would love some encouragement so if you'd like to email me an example of where you were and where you are...I know it would be a huge help for me. Or, you can post it right here.

Thanks, my friends!

What's in a Name?

2011-02-16T20:26:00.000-08:00

When my twin sister and I were little, we were called by our middle names instead of our first names. From there, the middle names were shortened by relatives and we became Neecy and Nay Nay by all who knew us. By the time we got to kindergarten though, rules changed and we were told that not only were we going to be put in separate classrooms but also called by our first names. I remember the moment like it was yesterday. New name and new faces and I had to learn to handle it all on my own for 3 1/2 hours a day. It took a while but eventually, I learned to value my name, Simone.

Then the other issue surrounding the names was that we were also called, "twins". It made it much easier on people who couldn't tell us apart. It took away their embarrassment of having to ask, "Which one are you?" All through school, including high school, we were referred to as the "twins". Although I was used to it, I still wished that we were both recognized for being ourselves.

As we ventured out on our own, people were able to get to know us separately. It was then that I realized how much I liked hearing my name. My name is like a label created just for me - it's personalized and special and fits (I think). Because I know how much I like being called by my name, I make a habit of calling others by their names as well. (Plus, it helps me to remember their name when I first meet them.) When I'm calling to speak to technical support, I listen for the name of the speaker and then I'll greet them with, "Hi Heather." To me, it makes that moment that we are talking more one on one and personal. I found this to be true at assisted living residences too. The moment you say, "Hi Harry!" I notice how quickly Harry's eyes twinkle.

When I worked at the elementary school, as difficult as it was to memorize every kid's name, I did my best so that as I passed them in the hall or when I went into their classrooms, I could smile and say, "Hi Sarah! Good job, Malik!" Sometimes I'd hear them whisper, "She KNOWS my name!"

That's why I love the scripture Isaiah 43:1 that says, "I have called you by name, you are mine." I love knowing that there is only one me. Sure I'm not the only Simone but I am uniquely the only Simone who looks, sounds and likes the things that I do.

Take the time to call someone by their name today.

Things I've Learned Thursday - About Myself

2011-02-10T18:09:00.001-08:00

I'm reading a book called The Me Project by a wonderful author, Kathi Lipp. I'm excited because I'm hosting Kathi on her blogging book tour and I can't wait. In the meantime, the book has really got me thinking about....ME. So today's Things I've Learned is all about me.

1) I'm a lover, not a fighter BUT when it comes to me and my character, my kids, loved ones and friends...I'll go toe to toe.

2) I have a hard time seeing nudity as beautiful. I know that it has a lot to do with loving and accepting my own body the way it is. But, also, it feels so private and intimate that even looking at nude statues or art in different galleries, I tend to turn away or blush.

3) There's not a day that goes by that I don't hate every article of clothing in my closet, except for my house slippers. I need a new wardrobe and BAD!!!

4) Keeping a bucket list of things to do while I'm still here seems to be growing by the minute. It's exhilarating to know that I have things to reach for and get excited about.

5) Some of the things that I was afraid of when I was a little girl, I'm still afraid of now: noisy trucks, false teeth floating in a jar, balloons popping, loud flushing toilets, wet hair wrapped around my toes, the dentist, loud confrontations and losing someone close to me.

6) Sometimes I don't see the full picture unless I step away from it. That's also how my life is. Up close, too much can cloud my ability to see things for what they are.

7) Nosiness and curiosity always wins out when I see something that screams, "Don't touch." I remember being at a train museum where there were old tools on display. The fascination got the best of me and I ignored the "Do not touch" sign. I gently (at least I thought I was gentle) touched the tool and a part of it hit the floor with a loud clang. I grinned and prayed that I wouldn't be asked to leave.

8) I used to feel guilty when I didn't accomplish my list of things to do for the day. I'm learning to not feel bad when I spend my day, relaxing, reading, watching dvds, playing video games and staying in my pjs all day.

9) The smell of play doh and Elmer's glue takes me back to my childhood memories of creating and inventing.

10) Home is my favorite place to be.

What have you learned about yourself?

I Dare You's

2011-02-01T23:56:00.000-08:00

Some of my most treasured moments with my daughters begin without much thought. For instance, when Single Boo was living in TX, I missed her so much. I tried to convince myself that she was not too far away. I would call her when she was at work and leave her a voice message, singing a song, any song, in my typical goofy way. When I missed her phone calls, she'd surprise me the same way. It got to a point where I couldn't wait to get her missed call so I could save them.

Single Boo also has this unusual collection...grocery lists. Working at Costco, she finds tons of them lying around. Whenever I'm at the store and find one now, I bring it home and I proudly present it to her. (I have no idea what she plans to do with them but who knows, maybe she'll write a book and title it, Things To Remember To Get At the Store.

Then, there's the I Dare You's. That begins when one of us mentions something on a whim and then, that other person dares them to make it happen. It could me 12:00 midnight and Single Boo will say, "I am craving Del Taco...but I shouldn't." I'll say, "I dare you." And, off she goes to get her Del Taco fix.

The other day, we were at the grocery store together when we both saw a guy in a wheelchair. Single Boo said, "That guy is hot."

I reminded her that sometimes someone needs to hear that. Then.....I dared her. I said, "Why don't you make his day and tell him."

She hesitated and then I said, "I triple dare you and off she went in search of him....looking up one aisle and then down another. Finally she came back and reported the conversation. It went like this:

Single Boo: Hi. I know this may sound really creepy but I'm not a creepy girl or anything. I just wanted to let you know that you are very handsome."

Hot Guy: Thank you so much. (smiling)

Later, as we were checking out, he looked at Single Boo and smiled really big and told her thanks again.

She replied, "I told myself that this year would be a year of authenticity. I wouldn't hold back from expressing my thoughts or telling people what's on my mind."

He beamed.

Then, Married Boo is notorious for calling me and saying, "I need Mommy advice." Usually, it's nothing serious, just reassurance and sometimes a moment to make her laugh.

I treasure my daughters because they love me just as I am and together, there is so much joy. I anticipate what's to come now that Married Boo and Son in Boo are now living here in Oregon.

What moments do you share with your family that makes you unique?

On Being...A Pastor's Wife

2011-01-31T20:24:00.000-08:00

I'm honored to say the least, to have the pleasure of interviewing Deidra from jumpingtandem.com. After reading her blog for more than two years and getting a chance to meet her and her sweet husband, H, I can without a doubt call her a sister friend.

1) You're a wife, mom and so much more. In your always honest way of expressing yourself...who is Deidra?

I am a dancer, an ocean seeker, a book reader, a writer. I miss the mark every day. I am overwhelmed by grace and thrilled that God keeps loving me in spite of me.

2) How long have you been married to H? How did you meet and was it love at first sight? Do you believe in love at first sight?

Harry and I will celebrate our 25^th wedding anniversary in August. I always tell him that he should put being married to me on his resume as an acquired skill.

We met at a Commodores concert. It’s a fun story and I wrote about it on my blog. Neither one of us wanted to go to that concert, but we each had a friend who begged us to go with them. Looking back, I’m sure it was some sort of divine meeting. Who knew God liked the Commodores?

Love at first sight? I don’t think it was love, but there was certainly something special going on.

3) Was H a pastor at the time that you met? Did you dream of being a pastor's wife?

Harry was not a pastor when we met, and it was not my plan or even remote desire to be a pastor’s wife.

When I was growing up, my family went to church every Sunday. We went as a family, and I remember that we sat together as a family. Church was part of our lives. And faith was a big part of my parents’ lives. I played along because it was all I really knew. So, when I started thinking about the type of man I’d want to marry, I knew I wanted a man who would go to church every Sunday. That was all I was asking for. But, I guess since I was open to having a church-going man, God thought he’d do one better and call my man into the ministry.

It was a surprise for both of us.

4) What is the most challenging part of being a pastor's wife?

Early on it was the expectations, and not just the ones that other people put on me. I had my own silly ideas of what a pastor’s wife should do and say, how she should dress, what special privileges she should have, and how perfect her house and hair and children and pets should be. I was my own worst critic.

I was young when Harry became a pastor – just 24, so some of that silliness was a factor of my inexperience. Now I know that all I can really do is be me and that means facing up to the fact that I don’t always want to get all dressed up or play the piano in church. It also means recognizing that we are here for one another and God sees us all the same. My house gets cluttered and dishes go unwashed and sometimes I wait too long to get my hair done. My children are human and my pets are…well…pets. That’s just the way it is.

These days the biggest challenge is balance. I work full-time and find it hard to figure out just how involved I can be at church. I don’t think that’s unique to my situation, though. Women everywhere – single, married, divorced, widowed – are each trying to figure out how to make it all work.

5) Growing up in the church, I've seen pastors and their families looked at as "perfect". Do you ever feel like you're being scrutinized or watched to see if you curse, make mistakes or do something that others would consider, un-Godly?

Well, if people are looking for me to mess up, they won’t have to look too long. I am constantly messing up. Seriously. What I really think people are looking for is to see how we handle our mess-ups. Do we rationalize or do we own up? Do we apologize or do we place blame? Do we try to justify or do we humbly ask for forgiveness?

6) What is the most enjoyable part of your day?

Almost every night, when I lay my head down on the pillow and pull the covers up to my chin, I say to Harry, “You know what?” He obliges and says, “No. What?” And I say, “This is the most comfortable bed.” Sometimes Harry laughs and sometimes he says, “You say that every night.” To which I reply, “I know.” That is my favorite part of the day.

7) What seems to be the most compelling part of your ministry?

Love. It really is that simple.

But love is complicated, isn’t it? Especially when it’s love in action and not just a word on a page. Loving people who won’t love you back. Saying “no” as a form of love. Lovingly releasing people to let them make their own mistakes. Loving people whose politics or lifestyles or hygiene make you uncomfortable. It’s radical, but when love is done right I truly believe it’s a miracle.

8) How do you make time for "you"?

I schedule it in. Truly. If I don’t make a point to take time for me, I will run myself into the ground and wonder how I got there. I have a calendar – an actual book – that I carry around with me. I write down things like “read” or “watch Modern Family” or “go to the gym.” If I don’t write it down and check it off, just like the laundry it won’t get done.

9) Is there a huge difference in being a pastor's wife in 2011 from when you first began? If so, what are those differences?

Well, first of all I’ve changed. I talked a bit about that earlier. Growing older and being able to be more comfortable in my skin has helped me not to take the whole thing too seriously and I think that’s made a difference specifically in how things have changed for me.

Generally speaking, however, I think the role of a pastor’s wife is still a bit mysterious. There was a season when Harry worked as a consultant for a denomination. During that time, he wasn’t the pastor of a church so we joined one and – for the first time in a long time – we had a pastor and a pastor’s wife. It was interesting to watch them navigate their roles. They started the church - first in their home, then in a movie theater (which is where we first met them), and finally in a brand new building. The bigger the church got, the less accessible the pastor and his family became.

10) Is there a book or a special project that you're working on?

Harry and I are really drawn to a life of simplicity and community. For now, that’s our project. We’re trying to figure out how we will downsize and what that will mean for how we live our life together and in the world.

In my head there is a book. One day I may write it down.

11) I have had the pleasure of sitting down and chatting with both you and H, face to face. You are without a doubt, the most beautiful and encouraging person to spend time with. Do you ever had days that you doubt your place in ministry?

A few years back I experienced a journey through depression. It was not good. It was triggered by some setbacks we’d experienced in ministry. These setbacks made me question everything and left me wondering what was the point. It was more than a funk. It was what some theologians call a crisis of faith. I wasn’t sure what I believed anymore. I wasn’t even sure that I believed. I was completely lost and utterly hopeless.

Eventually I made my way to a therapist and then to my medical doctor who prescribed an anti-depressant. And let me just say here - to anyone who may be feeling lost and hopeless – that being depressed does not mean that God doesn’t love you. God loves you so much that God gave people the skill to ask the right questions that help you find your way and to create the medicine that will open the door so that the light can get in. There is help and it’s OK to ask for it.

When I came through that journey, I was stronger and more confident in every way – physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Still the same me, just better for having taken that journey.

And your journeys are also the journeys of your readers and friends. I am inspired by your words of wisdom, inspiration and love. Thank you for sharing straight from your heart to mine. Your words always bring tears to my eyes.

Making Do

2011-01-28T20:23:00.000-08:00

When I was a kid, I used to love reading Pippi Longstocking books. The girl had skills! Not only was she strong but knew how to survive with just the bare minimum. Salvageable was her middle name (well, not really but it should've been). We didn't grow up anywhere close to wealthy. In fact, most of my childhood memories are based on making do. My parents were experts at getting by. My mom used to grocery shop at at least 3 different places. She would spread out the sales ads and then grab her coupons and decide which store had certain things on sale. Then, we'd tag along with her, watching her skill. She would buy a 5 pound box of Mother's cookies that were marked "broken" and our job once we got home, was to pick through the crumbs and put the "whole" cookies in a separate cookie jar. The crumbs were saved to sprinkle on ice cream. She would head over the butcher where she knew just what to ask for and how she wanted it cut. Once home, she'd divide the meat up and freeze them individually.

She baked her own bread, made granola, and cookies. She sewed all of our clothes. I remember when the rage was wearing the Holly Hobby print dresses....she made ours and we proudly went to school, thrilled to be among the girls who had Holly Hobby dresses. When our socks developed sag, she had us use rubber bands to hold them up. Those rubber bands would be so tight that I'm surprised it didn't stop our blood from circulating. She was also queen of moonlight sales, those crowded but fun parking lot sales held at night. Don't think about her going into a cloth store searching for patterns...it would be the longest shopping trip ever!

The love that I have for shopping in thrift stores and browsing yard sales and estate sales, comes from my mom. She knew bargains when she saw them and we'd frequent some of the shops until they knew us by name.

My dad was also thrifty. I remember the first time he was caught rummaging in the neighbor's trash so that he could read their newly discarded newspaper. I wanted to die from embarrassment but he took it in stride. After that, the neighbor always put the paper on our doorstep after he was finished with it. Then, the day before trash day, my dad made a habit of "trash digging". I was surprised at how many treasures he found along the way. He would go behind the stores and find items still with their tags on them. Eventually, his penchant for collecting led to him starting a ministry of donating food and clothing to those in need.

One thing I've learned from them both is how to search for bargains, look for ways to cut corners and still feel like I've accomplished quite a bit at the end of the day. When I shop, I do use coupons and when I don't, I still plan my meals for the week and mainly TRY to stick to buying things based on that menu. That also means not buying expensive cuts of meat but cooking with ground turkey and chicken most of the time.

What are some of the ways that you are making do?

On Being...In An Interracial Relationship

2011-01-25T07:06:00.000-08:00

I'm a firm believer in love being colored blind. True love is formed from within the heart. I've had the greatest pleasure of talking to Rebekah of Life With Kaishon and my daughter, Ev'Yan of apricot-tea about their special relationship with their husbands and most of all On Being..In An Interracial Relationship. I hope you enjoy it just as much as I have.

Becky and Gary

Jonathan and Ev'Yan

1) How did you meet your husband?

Rebekah:

I was working as a social worker and my co worker asked if I would be interested in a blind date with her brother. I said 'yes.' She did wonder if I minded he was black. I told her that was CRAZY. I actually preferred to date black men even though I had never done so before.

Ev'Yan:

Jonathan & I met on Myspace of all places. I saw his profile, thought he was charming, told him so, & within a few days we had our first date. We've been inseparable ever since.

2) Before meeting and marrying your husband, did you date guys of other nationalities?

Rebekah:

Neither of us had. I always wanted to and so did he. I was always fascinated with the black culture. The Cosby show did that to me.

Ev'Yan:

I dated guys from several races. I never discriminated; I only went out with people that seemingly had great chemistry with me.

3) Were there any objections from family or friends as far as dating someone outside of your race?

Rebekah:

No. Both of our families were excited for us and didn't mind. My Mom was just thrilled to pieces that I might get married and move out of her house : ) She was tired of me living there. Now, my Daddy, on the other hand- he would have let Kaishon and I stay forever!

Ev'Yan:

My family have always been very supportive of the guys I brought in to meet them. The only time they were ever especially hard on someone was because of their character, not the color of their skin. I'm very fortunate to have such open-minded & loving parents (& a sister!). Friends were a little trickier. A lot of them had preconceived notions of who THEY thought I should be with, so if I mentioned that I was "seeing" so-&-so, they would get slightly pretentious & hung up on the fact of who he was, rather than how he made me feel. None of my friends were particularly closed to my dating outside of my race, but they for some reason continued to set me up with black guys only.

4) What have you found to be the most challenging in being in an interracial relationship?

Rebekah:

We really haven't had any issues at all. People seem to treat us kindly wherever we go. I think that is because we are both nice people and we treat people nicely. In the beginning I assumed people would have issues but they never did.

Ev'Yan:

No challenges have been presented to Jonathan & I because of our being in an interracial relationship. (Not yet, at least.) The challenges that we've had in our relationship are standard ones: trust, communication, honesty, letting down walls. We've never had any problems with the fact that he is white & I am black. I realize that I am quite lucky in this sense.

5) When you're out in the public together, have you ever encountered any reactions, negative or positive?

Rebekah:

We never had any issues.

Ev'Yan:

When we first started dating, Jonathan got some rather nasty stares from black men, & I from black women. We still do sometimes, & I find this kind of odd. You'd think we'd get it from all races (white especially). But it's usually black people that seem to give us the most sideways glances. We've never let it bother us. We kind of just laugh it off. Other races don't pay us much attention.

6) What do you love the most about your man?

Rebekah:

There are so many great things about him. It is hard to pick one favorite thing. I love that he cares so deeply about Kaishon. That is the most beautiful thing in the world to me! Can I say a few more great things about him? He is very kind. He will help people whenever he can. He is a great singer. He is shy and doesn't talk a lot. He laughs all the time. He gives all that he can for our family. He works 7 days a week. He is a very good man. I pray that Kaishon will grow up to be good and kind like Gary. I also pray that Kaishon will go to college so he never has to work 7 days a week unless he wants to.

Ev'Yan:

I love his sense of humor. I love his unadulterated kindness. I love his wisdom that goes well beyond his 25 years. I love his tenacity, his courage to move past limitations, his ability to make friends with just about anyone. I especially love how romantic & sensual he is. Having been raised with 4 sisters, he's beautifully in touch with his feminine side (& this is a very good thing!). There is truly no one like him.

7) Have you had to blend any of your differences to make your relationship work and if so, what were those differences?

Rebekah:

I was surprised when we got married how hard marriage is. I don't think it is because of our skin color though. It is so hard to put another person before you constantly. It has been difficult to learn how to make our marriage work.

Ev'Yan:

We've blended our cultural differences but not because we had to make our relationship work. One thing that Jonathan & I firmly believe in is not perpetuating "racism" & the scare-mongering that comes from that. When I look at him, I do not see a white man. I see a human being I am deeply in love with (& he in turn sees a human being he is deeply in love with). Yes, there are differences amongst us -- namely, he is a man & I am woman. (Haha!) But... we feel that to point out & severely analyze our cultural differences maintains the thought process that our union is unnatural, grueling, & difficult to manage. But really, our relationship is no different from any others. Which isn't to say that we are 100% blind to the fact that we are different people of different races; we do realize this. We just don't make it a big deal; we don't see what all the fuss is about & therefore it keeps it in perspective for us.

8) Were/Are there fears in having children? If so, what are/were they?

Rebekah:

We don't have any fears about it. Well, Gary fears having children in general : ) I don't think he is worried about them being mixed. I feel badly for Kaishon because we live in a mostly white area so Kaishon told me he always feels different. We don't want to move into the city because of the schools. I fear we need to have children soon because we are getting so old. Gary always worries about money. I say, 'Does anyone ever have enough money for kids?' We just have to have some : ) and soon! Maybe I will have a different answer when we do have some. I hope not though. I hope they grow up knowing that each person in the world is special and wonderful no matter what color their skin is!

Ev'Yan:

We don't really have any fears about having children. Maybe it's because we're not really sure we even WANT children. Regardless, the apprehensions we do have have little to nothing to do with our "children" being mixed.

9) Are there traditions that have evolved as a result of your interracial relationship? If yes, what are they?

Rebekah:

None at all. I wish I was more exciting for you : )

Ev'Yan:

I've exposed Jonathan to a lot of things that encompass black culture; namely, food (the way to a man's heart!). He loves soul food -- greens & cornbread, especially. He loves grits, too; it's becoming a permanent fixture in our house to have them for breakfast. The things I introduce to him are the things that my mom brought me up on. So it's just comes naturally. As for Jonathan... he hasn't really introduced me to new traditions involved in his culture. Maybe because his family wasn't all that traditional. But he has taught me so much about other things, things that surpass racial "habits."

10) What is the funniest story you can share about your interracial relationship?

Rebekah:

Gary and I laugh about how different the Baptist Church I grew up in and the Baptist Church he grew up in are. My church didn't believe in dancing or secular music or girls wearing pants. Gary's church fully supported dancing. They danced AT church. Gary grew up singing all sorts of songs. His Mom and sister wore pants all the time. I love that we both grew up believing in Jesus. None of that other stuff matters. I laugh when people make a big deal about things that are inconsequential like that. Life is too short.

Ev'Yan:

I can't think of a story that relates specifically to that. Funny things happen to us all the time, but they have absolutely nothing to do with our interracial relationship.

Please feel free to add your thoughts and anything else you would like others to know.

Rebekah:

I wish I had something profound or interesting to add. We truly haven't had any bad experiences because of our color differences. I think so much of that is due to the fact that we got married in a time where skin color doesn't seem to matter that much. At least in this area, we blend in nicely. There aren't any other mixed couples in our neighborhood but we don't stick out. At least not because of our skin colors. We might stick out because we have one of the loudest houses. There are always neighbor kids playing in our house. I love it!

Our neighborhood is awesome because we have people from Bangladesh, India, France, Colombia, Germany and Poland all dwelling here. It is a perfect blend. There aren't too many African American families here, but there are some. We love all the neighbors. We are abundantly thankful for the life we have.

Thank you so much for taking time out to talk with me about the love of your lives. I look forward to following you on your never ending adventure in this thing called LOVE.

Boo-less

2011-01-23T11:38:00.000-08:00

If you've been a long time reader of my blog, you'll remember that there was a Boo very present in my life. A part of the Boo family tree was Baby Boo, Boo's baby girl. I didn't tell of his exit out of my life because for a few reasons, but most importantly, it is also his story to tell. But, what seemed like a relationship made in heaven wasn't at all what it seemed.

I had dreamed of spending the rest of my life with Boo. I thought he was the "one" when in fact, it was the other side of truth. What I divulged in many of my posts about Boo and I, was anticipation, excitement and love. What I didn't talk about was anger and addiction.

I was raised with parents that never drank alcohol or even cursed. When I had my first drink of alcohol, I was 21 years old, legal age to drink. I have never made bad choices involving alcohol because thankfully, I knew the power of over indulgence.

Boo and my relationship was based on lies and one of those lies was being sober. What started out as innocent would turn into heated discussions, verbal antagonism and later, promises of never again and apologies. I wanted to believe those promises that this was "the last time" but unfortunately, there were too many "last times" to count.

What I didn't want to accept was my fear and uncertainty, yet it was always looming close by. I began seeking God's direction for my life. Somehow, I knew that letting go was a part of His plan so I braced myself for the pain that would come from it. Baby Boo knew me as her Momo and we were inseparable when she was with us, from the time she was 3 1/2 months old. I didn't know how or when the letting go would happen. In my wildest dreams, I never imagined being in another state, finding myself and peace and contentment and most of all, safety, but then, Oregon happened.

Single Boo and I visited Oregon not because we had family here, although we did have a cousin that I had only seen when she was a little girl. We visited because there was a tugging at both of our hearts for something unusual yet, home. We packed our bags two weeks after visiting and made the gutsy move to this place that we now call home.

The last time I said goodbye to Boo, we both knew it wasn't a "see you soon" goodbye....it was for good. The last time I said goodbye to Baby Boo, I held in my heart that I would one day see her again and if not, she would remember her Momo as being the one who gave her a bowl of bubbles to play with, sang silly songs to her, took her to the library and the park and cooked and made fun together.

There is such a peace that I did the right thing. No one should make a choice to be in a place where they feel unsafe or uncertain or fearful. We all deserve a place that we can find love and contentment.

Not only have I found that here but in 7 days, Married Boo and Son In-Boo are moving here to Oregon, 10 minutes away. It brings tears of joy to know that He has brought me through once again.

Getting to the Right Place

2011-01-17T21:07:00.000-08:00

When I was a kid, one of my favorite outside games to play was hopscotch. The strategy wasn't necessarily in how well you hopped but what you used as your marker. In my quest for finding the perfect marker, the one where when it was thrown would land right where it was supposed to be - in the right place. The search would take me everywhere. I tried flat rocks, broken popsicle sticks, pencil erasers and even bottle caps but most of the time, what worked the best was a broken chain. It didn't even have to look good or feel right. The importance was how it landed.

Isn't that how life works? We reach for what feels familiar or head to a place where we know the coffee tastes good or where we feel at home, only to find that that isn't the right place for us to be. But it felt right, it smelled right, it tasted right, it looked right....how could it not be RIGHT? Because sometimes getting to the right place takes work. It takes having a spirit of never giving up or calling it quits. It takes laughing instead of crying. It means accepting that what comes easy for some may not come easy for others. I like to say it this way..."Your blues ain't like mine!" If we all landed in the right place at the right time, then it wouldn't be a challenge and the joy of winning wouldn't be worth trying for.

Sometimes we need a tag team to help us along. It's like playing Tag and you finally decide that you can't run anymore so you ask the Tagger to tag you just so that you can freeze and rest. Doesn't mean that you have arrived at the right place...yet...it just means that it may take a little while longer so rest is needed.

Catch your breath, refuel and don't quit. Whether you are writing a book and are tired of the rejection letters, trying so hard to eat right and exercise, looking for Mr. or Miss Right, waiting for the teen angst to pass, dealing with marital issues that have you feeling like you're hanging over the edge or dealing with financial problems that have you screaming and pulling out your hair....don't give up! The right place is on its way.

Trust me, I've been there.

Things I've Learned Thursday...I mean...Friday

2011-01-13T22:25:00.000-08:00

1) Horns honk in the key of F and toilets flush in the key of F flat.

2) I will not cut my hair by myself...no matter how tempting and how bad it is...I will wait until my daughter moves out here. My hair says, "thank you". (Hurry up January 31st.)

3) When I get nervous, my nose runs.

4) This is the year where I learn not to push aside my wants, feelings and emotions. This is the year of loving me!

5) I hate ice storms...especially when it comes to driving around in it.

6) Richard Simmons may be a nice guy but I'm just not attracted to him. (That's another post for another day on dating.)

7) I totally hate when I see someone litter. I cross a line between saying something or picking up the trash they tossed or both.

8) Maybe I'm dating myself but are the lyrics to songs getting worse? You're on my heart like a tattoo???? Are you serious??

9) I have a new appreciation for Fridays.

10) I don't understand the changing of astrological signs. Why can't we just leave well enough alone?

What have you learned?

On Being....Divorced

2011-01-11T21:03:00.000-08:00

My daughter, Married Boo aka Apricot Tea wrote a very poignant blog post called Dust Covered Memories. If you have the time, please take a read. One of the things that I'd like to do this year is to introduce, uncover, explore issues, people, culture and activities through my blog, even if it's just one day a week. After reading Married Boo's post, I felt compelled to write about being divorced.

The emotions that are evoked as I look at this picture are a plethora of feelings from anger, sadness, disappointment, but most of all hope.

I know....how can I see hope in something that once was and no longer is? Because the hand that's holding the picture screams hope and love and belief that marriage and love still exists. In spite of knowing that unbelievable relationships end in divorce, my daughters still have faith in commitment and marriage. I still do too.

I carry the pain and scars of knowing that their lives were changed as a result of my life being changed. I still bear the anger (and I always will) of knowing that his cheating was the greatest blow to what once was a happy family.

I have to admit that in my pain, I questioned God. I asked, "Why????" I waited and waited for the answer to come and one day, it did in a simple, yet tangible way.

As I sat down with my daughters and a pastor who counseled us, he explained to them, "God gives each of us grace to handle things in our lives. Some people, God gives an extra measure. Your mom is one of them that God has given an extra measure of grace."

At first, my reaction was to tell God, "Can you please take back that extra measure because, personally, I'm angry and hurting and I don't want to feel any kind of grace." Yet, as time went on, I embraced the ease that it took to walk away from the house that I watched our kids grow up in. I embraced the strength it took to hear his voice and not crumble at the sound. I embraced the courage I had in confronting him and his mistress now wife. I embraced the freedom of being my own person and exploring who I am and who I want to be. I captured the memories that mattered the most to me and stored them away, only to be grasped whenever I need them. I no longer wonder about the what ifs but anticipate the present and where my life is now.

The nights that I cried in my pillow are now a distant, way distant memory. I'm thankful that I never acted out of the anger I felt. I probably would be sitting in a prison cell. I'm thankful that my daughters and I have the kind of relationship that transcends the hurt of the divorce and brings healing and laughter to our lives instead.

I am a survivor and hope that in many ways, I can help others who have gone through or going through difficult moments in their relationships. Hold those memories close to your heart and in return, they will be just as precious to you as gold.

Things I've Learned Thursday...I mean...Friday

2011-01-06T23:05:00.000-08:00

1) The greatest surprise that didn't cost God a cent was to wake up this morning thinking it was Wednesday only to discover that it was Thursday. One step closer to the weekend.

2)The only one sad to see the Christmas tree gone was the kitty.

3) It was hard not to get over stimulated while at Buffalo Wild Wings with all of the many big screens playing different sporting events at the same time. Then, of course, different tables were cheering for different sporting events which made it even more intense.

4) I have decided that when I stress eat, the crunchier the food the better...chips, peanuts, pretzels.....so I've decided I'm going to do myself a huge favor and crunch on a tree branch instead. I won't swallow it, I'll just crunch and spit it out. Is anyone else game on trying this?

5) I totally, I mean, totally, hate when a date calls me, "young lady". It makes me feel like a kid. Also, add "Girl" to that one too. It's just not in the dating dictionary.

6) I got all sentimental talking about my daughter, Single Boo getting married and she isn't even engaged. The more we talked about the ceremony and the reception, I wanted it to really be true.

7) Cutting doggy toe nails is best left to a professional. I seriously thought I was going to have to give my Sam a blood transfusion.

8) I got the greatest gag gift from my mom in the mail...some pecans, Now or Laters, Chick O Stick, Jawbreakers, Bit O honey and more. Sure brought back some sweet memories.

9) The greatest feeling in the world is hearing or having someone tell you that they were thinking of you. Out of all the people that could be thought of, to know that I am being thought of is precious to me.

10) Never have a coughing fit when holding a full glass of wine.

What have you learned?

Normal??

2011-01-05T21:56:00.000-08:00

There's no such thing as normal. I just had this profound thought. What I'm searching for no longer exists. It was replaced a long time ago by ideals, expectations, desire for more instead of less and going along with the flow of things. I was listening to a radio station that described the video games we used to play when we were kids....you know, the handheld type that came charged only with a D battery. I also thought about how a transistor radio was the greatest gift I received, once more, the D battery fueled it.

Board games were "in". Having people come over just for dinner and drinks was a treat. It was called "having company" when I was little. Coloring books and paper dolls and puzzles and pick up stixs were fun on a rainy day. When the sun was shining, there was no need to be indoors unless there was a particular show that came on after school called, "The After School Special". Other than that, tv was reserved most of the time to watch as a family. We watched the Flip Wilson show, Truth or Consequences, Hee Haw (don't laugh, some Black people did watch stuff like that), Roller Derby, Partridge Family, Brady Bunch and of course, Saturday cartoons.

When it came to the size you were, I remember my mom dieting but there was never this constant drive to be skinny. In fact, skinny was often frowned upon. My sister and I were called many names because of how thin we were. Exercise was fun along with Jack LaLanne. (I remember being in kindergarten and exercising with my mom before school started.) Sewing your clothes was just as fashionable and acceptable as buying them. Shoes were bought for kids not necessarily because they "looked good" but because they lasted longer AND they were made well, like Stride-Rites and Buster Browns. Dress shoes were worn only on special occasions, like church or something special.

Food even tasted different back then. No matter how much I hated liver and onions and beets, what my mom prepared for us had to be eaten. It was normal to hear, "I'm not running a restaurant. Eat your food." There were no arguements either. We used manners all the time...opening doors for others, sitting with our hands in our laps, crossing our legs, asking to be excused from the table, chewing with our mouths closed, and not interrupting. Heck, we weren't even allowed to say shut up to one another and to say, "I hate you" was a grounds for a butt whoopin'.

Parents were strict and when they said no. No meant no. If you talked back, you were considered sassy and a smart mouth. Now, sassy means something totally different.

We drank Kool-aid, bathed in Mr. Bubble, soaked in Palmolive, dippity dooed our hair for bouncy curls, wore stockings when we were finally "grown up and not one minute before, looked forward to taking Flinstones vitamins, ate spinach only because we wanted to be big and strong....

What happened? When did normal become so different? I hate that people are so stuck on size, color and shapes. I hate that labels are the first things that are noticed before the outfit is considered acceptable. I hate that plastic surgery is now the "in thing" and acceptance of ones looks are no longer a given. I hate that families no longer eat at the table together but in front of the television where conversation is seldom shared. I hate that for some kids, (some) books are considered boring which means the library is a place they don't have no desire to be. I hate music videos that exploit women that are barely wearing anything at all. I hate that crime overshadows the good news on most networks, including the computer. I hate that a knock knock joke is considered corny to a kid but a dirty one usually captures their attention faster. I hate that cartoons now have suggestions that go way over kids heads but are put in just because. I hate that a birthday gift means something big - no longer a new jump rope and or some Big Dad's bubble gum.

Please tell me I'm not living in a bubble. I really miss normal. I wish so much that 2011 meant a chance to find normal again.

Life Without Limits - Book Review

2011-01-04T23:14:00.000-08:00

There are some books where I am humbled, inspired and Nick Vujicic's book, Life Without Limits was one of them.

Nick has lived a life without limbs in a way that not only glorifies God but in no way at all, brings pity on his situation.

The more I read, the more aware I was of how often I've spent wallowing in self-pity while not recognizing others and their situations around me.

Nick's thirst for encouraging, support and reaching out with his heart is unending. In his book, he describes the journey his life has taken to get him where he is today.

With humor and candidness, he shares moments where his life was changed by the unexpected, blessed with courage and strengthened by care and love from strangers turned friends.

Not only is he a pivotal speaker with a gift to minister to teens but continues to offer wisdom throughout his book and his website.

I received no monetary compensation for this review. I'm just a girl who loves to read and is willing to pass along some good reads for you.

On Being...Honest

2011-01-03T07:19:00.000-08:00

A part of living my new year, real and authentically, I realize that what has been a stumbling block in some ways in my life is honesty. Not that I've lied to others...too much conviction to do that...but lied to myself. I accepted friendships, relationships, outfits, music, books and more that I wasn't content with or happy about. Some of the friendships were ones where I accepted his/her lies and brushed them off, accepting the friendship in spite of it. I gave them the benefit of the doubt that maybe there were reasons for untruths but no more.

I aim to live my life honest with others and I want to accept only the same. That's not to say that if you ask me if I like the way you look in a pair of jeans, I'm going to blurt out, "You look like Gouda cheese wrapped in plastic too tight!" No! But, I do want to know that when my day is over, I've done the best I can to be real and to expect the same from those close to me.

That includes dating. I've begun dating again, as hard as it will be, I refuse to accept any lies at all. I lived the two relationships that I thought would last, accepting lies. No more!

I'm ready for the challenge! Are you?

Out with the Old, in with the New

2010-12-30T22:17:00.000-08:00

I did something I haven't done in a long time - read through my blog posts from the beginning...well...not all 472 of them but just enough to peek at how interestingly challenging my life has been in 2010.

I started my blog in 2008 with 3 readers which eventually grew to ten and then where it is today. Some of you have been with me from the beginning, Danica, Julie, Megryansmom, Lin, Veronica Lee, and Buckeroo Mama. A million thanks to you all for not leaving my blog in a cloud of dust.

So much happened in 2010. Right when I found strength and courage to start all over again in a new city, I was laid off (in 2009). As much as I wanted to believe that I'd find another job, after countless and disappointing searches, I knew that there had to be a door opening somewhere else.

During this time, I was having the time of my life being Momo to Baby Boo, my now ex-Boo's daughter. The bond was unmeasurable and the joy and laughter that came from seeing life through her eyes was sweet and precious. I began seeing neon signs that Boo and I were not going to spend our lives forever this past year. I accepted it and even though, I mourned what we once had, I used that courage to look forward to life once again, differently.

Differently this time around, meant taking a leap of faith and falling head over heels with my new state, Oregon. I moved anticipating (still anticipating) the great things that I was going to experience and live. So far, in this adventure, I've been blessed with a new job and the joy of knowing that Married Boo and Son In Boo are moving out to Oregon on February 1st.

I've experienced loneliness, new friendships, awe, challenges, acceptance and tons of humor this past year. This year hasn't been without tears though. Letting go isn't always easy and I unfortunately let go of people, like my godfather that I held dear and close to my heart.

Most of you know that I don't make resolutions for the new year but I do use what I've gained from the last year to build on making the new year even better. That's my desire....for this new year, 2011, to be better than I've ever imagined, with God's help.

I'm so thankful for you all, my friends. You've challenged me by sharing your tears and your hearts in your many comments and also your blogs. I'm so blessed to have you all in my life! Thank you isn't maybe the best word, but it's all that I can express at the moment.

Happy New Year to you!!!

Every year, when I was a kid growing up, we'd go to church to watch the new year come in and we'd sing this.

Thank you Jesus for my journey,
you brought me, your brought me.

Thank you Jesus for my journey,
you brought me from a mighty long way!!!

Amen!!!

Things I've Learned Thursday

2010-12-23T19:36:00.000-08:00

1) I'm already feeling sad that I will have to take the Christmas tree down after the New Year. Single Boo and I named our tree, Chubster and we have fallen in love.

2) Christmas time can be the loneliest time of the year.

3) I usually find one Christmas song that I love and play it over and over again. This year, the song is My Christmas Prayer by BeBe Winans and Rob Thomas.

4) I just don't get the purpose of fruitcake. In fact, I've never met a fruitcake I've liked and I think I'll keep it that way.

5) This brought smiles to my face this week. Princess Vivian and her beautiful and talented mommy, Mandy loving the picture I painted for her. I've also learned that you if you click here, you will be able to order one of the best cookbooks ever, written by Mandy.

6) I miss Christmas caroling! In elementary school, we'd get on a bus and go Christmas caroling to all of the teachers houses. The last stop was for a hot cup of cocoa. So much fun!!

7) I'm so very thankful for my daughters for talking me off a ledge when I'm having a meltdown. I owe them both, big time!

8) The movie, "It's a Wonderful Life" truly puts things in perspective for me.

9) Sock snow people are the cutest but, the next time I will use stuffing instead of rice. They've all sprung leaks.

10) Hanging Christmas lights outside when it's raining is not only dumb but also shorts out the lights.

Merry Christmas to all of you. May your time spent with loved ones be full of laughter and happiness.

What have you learned?

Grown Up Christmas List

2010-12-19T11:56:00.000-08:00

Celebrating the holidays just isn't for the kids, although I think my brother in law makes the greatest santa of all. The picture below is of him riding in the city of Compton's annual Christmas parade. There's nothing like being the most awaited and popular guy in the whole parade!

Not only that but a few weeks ago, he was at the tree lighting, sitting patiently as each child gave him their Christmas wish. It hit me...I've been asking the wrong guy for stuff! :) My sister has the hook up on getting every thing her heart desires!

Even more precious is Single Boo's friend's daughter who is already making her "grown up" Christmas list at 3 years old.

But, if I had a chance to make my wishes known to Santa....here is my Grown Up Christmas list....

1) A sexy, sweet, honest, faithful Christian man who gets me and I can look forward to spending the rest of my life with.

2) An impromptu snowball fight

3) heat controlled, warm, fluffy pajamas

4) lifetime poop scooping service

5) my own private jet to visit my sister whenever I want

6) a Baby Grand piano, shiny and black

7) my very own vineyard

8) an endless supply of Orville Redenbacher's Poppycock (without any calories that stick)

9) a new wardrobe

10) Each year, when my grandmother was asked what she wanted for Christmas, she'd say, "My life, health and strength." I never understood how she could ask for "just" that. But, now that I'm older, I understand. I too want life and to live it joyfully, health, both emotional and physical health and strength to persevere even when I feel like I'm hitting a wall.

What is on your grown up Christmas list?

Things I've Learned Thursday

2010-12-15T21:48:00.000-08:00

1) Threatening a kid with "If you aren't good, then Santa isn't going to bring you any toys" no longer works.

2) Waving a tampon in my face and saying, "I'll be back, I have to go to the bathroom" when filling out a job application is not a way to make a good first impression.

3) Since moving to Oregon, I've fallen off the wagon as far as washing my car. Why wash it when it will rain five minutes after it's clean?

4) Kittens are under the impression that Christmas trees are their ultimate play toy. Climbing up and through the tree while knocking down every ornament makes for more fun.l

5) Cats know how to ignore the word "no".

6) Some people were never taught to play nice on the playground. Ultimately, they are now obnoxious, rude and bossy adults.

7) As I get older, I get more persnickety about writing with smooth ink pens, buying only certain brands of salad dressing and eating only crunchy apples with stripes.

8) Before I announce that it's "pouring outside", I should check to make sure I've turned off the bathroom faucet.

9) The greatest gift we can give to others is ourselves.

10) Ever since I mentioned the song 18 Cents in my last blog post, it's stuck in my head so here it is....

What have you learned?

Christmas in Perspective - Family Ideas to Re-connect

2010-12-13T18:27:00.000-08:00

Ever since I was a kid, Christmas classics like Little Drummer Boy, Merry Christmas Charlie Brown and Frosty the Snowman always brought on the tears and a heart to give. Like the Little Drummer Boy, I always felt like I didn't quite have anything costly or impressive to give. Then there was this song called Eighteen Cents that I listened to over and over again. Back then, it made perfect sense to buy all that she did for just 18 cents...now, it's totally impossible! I remembered one year in elementary school when my class had a gift exchange. My "giver" gave me a lens from an old pair of eyeglasses with a magazine cut out of a cat, glued to the back, and a pin glued to be proudly worn. Even though I'm ashamed to admit it even now, I hated it! I was totally embarrassed to wear an old eye glass lens. It wasn't "cool". But, had I stopped and thought about the giver? Maybe that was all he/she had to give. I wish my parents had reminded me of how it's not the amount or cost of the gift but the heart in which the gift is given.

I think to myself how if we raise our families with the awareness of giving/receiving with the perspective of the giver in mind, then each and ever gift would be gratefully accepted. Here are some suggestions on making Christmas rich and full!

1) How many gifts have you gotten a duplicate of? Pass along the extra gift to someone else that would love to have it. It may be "gently used" (books, wallets, gloves, appliances, games (Wii and Playstation) can be well appreciated.)

2) Trade a toy to get a toy. If you know of a family that has kids your kids age, work on having a toy swap each year. One kid's "junk" or bored toy may be a treasure to another. Explain that they can be a santa helper and pick a toy to give to another child. This will help save time and energy for "santa". (This also helps determine what toys are really needed and what toys aren't.)

3) Make ornaments together and pass them out as a part of the gifts for family and friends. (Working together turns into a fun project.)

4) If your house is well known for being a popular place where people drive by and view your Christmas lights, put a bin out by the curb with a sign that says, "Please donate any canned foods or other items - all proceeds will go to a shelter." As a family, take the items to give to the shelter.

5) Throughout the year collect towels, blankets and other items to take to the animal shelter to help keep the animals in the shelter warm. If you're going to give your child a pet as a gift, go to the shelter first and look. You'd be surprised at all of the many animals that need homes.

6) Start a tradition of going to a retirement home and have your kids participate in a sing a long or make Christmas cards to tape by the residents bedside or door.

7) When I was a kid, all of our families got together to celebrate and spend time with our grandmother. We'd have a very "loose" talent show. We mainly shared songs, poems or anything that we wanted to share. We didn't have video cameras but we were able to "tape record" the events to listen to later on down the years. Enjoy time spent together instead of money spent.

8) One year, my mom read stories into a tape recorder for my daughters to fall asleep by. It was titled, "Stories by Nona". It was one of the best gifts ever. They fell asleep without a fuss, listening to their Nona tell them stories.

9) Every year, before Christmas, as a family, we voted on who our "person of the year" was. This person was someone that we all thought either brought smiles to our faces or made an impact somehow in our lives. We gave a gift to that person with a card expressing how they made a difference. One year, it was my daughter's gymnastic's coach who was not only spent so much time in encouraging her but as a family, she recognized how the sacrifice affected us. She was quite touched and surprised to know that she was our "person of the year".

10) Purchase gloves and scarves from the Dollar Tree to randomly pass out to the homeless. When you see someone that appears to be homeless, look him/her in the eyes and ask if they are okay and listen, really listen to their answer. Then, give them gloves and scarf to help warm their hands.

What are some of the unique ways that you impress giving on your family?

Hawboo

2010-12-09T21:45:00.000-08:00

What does that mean? Actually, I have no idea! It was one of the word verification words that I found utterly charming and delightful. Don't ask me why but I did. It's kind of like a mixture between a sneeze and a peek a boo.

First it was a fried router and then my keyboard went out. I had to bang and jiggle the cord to make it work and then, halfway through blogging, it stopped working once again. I'm now working with a totally wireless keyboard. I wonder if I can soak in the tub and surf the net at the same time? Hmmm...don't want to even try that one. I can just imagine the headlines, "Woman fried in tub while blogging."

Since today is Thursday, I'd have to say that the biggest thing I've learned is, expect the unexpected. Enough said!

What have you learned?

When The Router Fries

2010-12-04T11:11:00.000-08:00

I didn't realize how attached I was to my computer and the internet UNTIL the router fried. The technical support lady was gracious enough to ship out another but not until two days later.

Both my daughter and I watch tv shows on our computers since we don't have cable. We have an antenna but only get some of the channels but not all. We also use Instant Netflix, which is also an internet goody....so...

Without anything else to do, I amused myself by thinking about the lyrics to You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch. I am so impressed that Dr. Seuss got by with saying all sorts of mean things about the Grouchy Grinch without having to use a single curse word. Some of these, I think I may even use. I like, "stink, stank, stunk".

Which phrase do you like?

You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch

You're a mean one, Mister Grinch
You really are a heel,
You're as cuddly as a cactus, you're as charming as an eel, Mister Grinch,

You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!

You're a monster, Mister Grinch,
Your heart's an empty hole,
Your brain is full of spiders, you've got garlic in your soul, Mister Grinch,

I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

You're a vile one, Mister Grinch,
You have termites in your smile,
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mister Grinch,

Given a choice between the two of you I'd take the ... seasick crocodile!

You nauseate me, Mister Grinch,
With a nauseous super "naus",
You're a crooked dirty jockey and you drive a crooked hoss, Mister Grinch,

You're a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich, with arsenic sauce!

You're a foul one, Mister Grinch,
You're a nasty wasty skunk,
Your heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is full of gunk, Mister Grinch,

The three words that describe you are as follows, and I quote, "Stink, Stank, Stunk!"

You're a rotter, Mister Grinch,
You're the king of sinful sots,
Your heart's a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots, Mister Grinch,

Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of rubbish imaginable, mangled up in tangled up knots!

First Day At Work

2010-11-29T23:02:00.000-08:00

I'm surprised to still be awake considering I need to be up early tomorrow morning. I couldn't turn out the lights until I shared my first day on the job.

I walked in to the job and began filling out the necessary paperwork when it all of a sudden hit me, "I have a job!" This journey has been almost 2 years of tears and worry and doubt and discouragement and ten billion applications and resumes sent. Yet, when I was losing hope, He gave me reason to hope once again.

Being the new kid on the block isn't always easy but I'm reminded that it eventually passes and before long, things and people become quite familiar.

I don't take this blessing lightly at all. When I think about how many people are facing or have faced unemployment, I know that it's nothing short of a miracle for me. True, I've taken a drastic cut in salary but there's no worry there. It will be okay.

For every prayer, thought, word of encouragement, card and phone call as well as emails - I have tremendously appreciated every one.

Although I've got some financial catching up to do, my goal is to help someone else who is facing unemployment in some way. It may just be a bag of groceries or warm gloves and a scarf and an encouraging word but I know how much you all have blessed me by being here.

A million thanks!

Is It Really Worth It?

2010-11-28T19:06:00.000-08:00

I'm trying not to be a Bah Humbug but I'm having a hard time understanding the need to camp out at Walmart for 7 hours or more to get in on Black Friday sales. I don't understand the spending of money or maxing out credit cards for one day out of the year.

Trust me, I understand the joy of giving but does it need to be gifts that will break your budget, your credit card or your spirit? I don't know too many people who shop for Christmas without walking away with a little bit of buyers remorse or a sick feeling from over spending.

Years ago, when my ex and I struggled after he was laid off from a job of almost 11 years, we knew that we had to make the most of the holidays without going broke. We decided to spend time making traditions. Every day, there was a new adventure to look forward to until Christmas arrived. We made ornaments, surprised unsuspecting neighbors by doing them favors like putting away their trash cans and raking their leaves, having the girls choose toys that they no longer played with to give away to others and made gifts like homemade potholders and cards. Out came the puzzles, the Christmas carols played throughout the house and we laughed. A few weeks before Christmas, I threw a Christmas craft sleepover for my daughters and their friends. They played games, made ornaments and the grand finale was making gingerbread houses. The joy on their faces were priceless. Christmas eve, we went looking at our favorite houses that were well lit and gave them the "best lit house" award. Christmas shopping meant shopping at thrift stores and looking for gifts that we knew would put a smile on their faces.

Those were good times! Simple yet, something that we all looked forward to every year. I challenge my blog readers to embrace a tradition or make a new one that maybe won't cost much but will bring loads of joy to someone this holiday. Are you up for the challenge?

How Often Do You Say, "Thanks"?

2010-11-23T01:23:00.001-08:00

I was thinking today about that particular word...thanks or thank you. When I was little, one of the first thing my parents instilled in me was to be say thank you. If it was for a stick of gum, a compliment or a good meal, we were taught to say, "thank you".

Before we dug into our food, no matter if it was nasty liver and onions, we still gave thanks to God for blessing us with food on the table, no matter how gross it was going to be. On a side note, I literally thanked God for mustard to smother the liver and onions so that it wouldn't taste quite as gross.

As unbelievable as it sounds, I try so very hard to make my "thank you's" count. I want people to know that I appreciate them. If I need to change lanes and someone allows me the spot in front of them, I wave my hand and say, "thank you". If I sneeze and someone says, "Bless you", I say, "thank you". When I'm handed my receipt at the store, I say, "thank you". Not only do I say it but I mean it.

But, saying thank you for trials and tribulations, I have yet to master. How can I have a thankful heart when it seems like life has been turned upside down? Yet, I know that God is working it out and for that, I should be so very thankful.

This year, my heart is full with thankfulness. Not only have I been blessed with a job that I will be starting next week but a chance to spend time with my daughters, laughing, sharing and just enjoying the time together. For that, I'm so very thankful!

I'm thankful that I've got family near and far and friends who care so much about what goes on in my life...that includes you all as well because you're not JUST blog pals but you're my friends.

So today and every day, my heart says, "thank you".

What are you thankful for?

Things I've Learned Thursday

2010-11-18T11:23:00.000-08:00

1) Mmmmmm....pear apples are GOOD!!

2) This is the epitome of true love...

3) I've been saying the word, "espresso" wrong for all of my life. I won't even tell you how I've been pronouncing it.

4) The day that I step in dog poop is also the day that I get locked out of my house. Disasters come in twos and threes.

5) Items returned from Target can be found at my local Goodwill Store. Thank you God for a brand new dinette set in just the color we wanted, for $75.00!!

6) Meeting a blogger face to face equals having a new face to face friend. I had the joy of meeting Kris from Shelter From The Storm for breakfast this past week. I immediately felt at ease meeting her. We chatted freely and then went to the thrift store and talked books and browsed. Looking forward to another chance to get together.

7) Oatmeal is becoming the new "gotta have" breakfast choice. Even Mickey D's is getting in on it. Time to start making my gourmet oatmeal once again.

8) Monday can't come fast enough. I'm going to have both of my girls here with me. Married Boo is flying here to spend 5 days with us. I'm so excited but already not wanting to say goodbye. Isn't that silly? She hasn't even gotten here but I'm dreading having to say goodbye?

9) I have so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving!!!

10) You can pack just about anything in a small car as long as you have tie downs.

What have you learned?

Then the Lights Came On

2010-11-16T21:57:00.000-08:00

Being in a movie theater, after the movie comes to an end, it takes a moment for my eyes to adjust to the light and my surroundings once again. The credits start to roll. The smell of popcorn lingers in the air as I step through the sticky aisle, bumping into the seats as I walk.

Suddenly, the doors to the theater open and I'm blinded by the reality of the light. I squint first and hesitantly walk towards the exit. By the time I'm outside, I suddenly acclimate myself to where I'm heading, with certainty.

That's been my life the last few months...almost two years to be exact. I have bumped into more walls, tripped over my mistakes and landed face first into consequences with a hard landing.

I have cried out to God so many times, He's probably lost count of just how many times I've yelled, "Help!" In fact, I'm sure he now realizes that my life is more drama and comedy than it is suspense and mystery.

I moved to Oregon as a leap of faith. Never had I done anything so gutsy...well...not so gutsy as leaving most of my stuff behind and taking only what I could bring in my little car. But, it felt right. Even now, I can't explain the effects its had on me. Unlike Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, I wake up with a smile on my face and tell myself, "You're not in California anymore, Simone."

The things I've missed the most, have been my daughter and son-in-law and their baby puppy, Sofie. I try hard not to think too hard on missing my twin sister. There is nothing I wouldn't give to hear her say, "We're moving out to Oregon!" Even that, I'm learning isn't an impossibility.

Yesterday, I was offered a full-time position with the company I was hired. It was going to possibly be 20 hours to start but not only did I hope but seriously WANT it to be full-time.

This has been what I've needed to know that I'm home in a place where I can soar, grow and love.

I don't look at this as the ending to my story but the beginning. With many sequels to come.

Thank you all for your words of encouragement, prayers, wishes, friendship and more. It means the world to me to know that I've never been on this roller coaster alone. Now, I'm heading back to the food counter for some Hot Tamales. Can't wait to see what's next!

Always Enough Room for Two

2010-11-14T20:22:00.000-08:00

My twin sister and I were the luckiest little girls in the world, growing up. We had a mom and a dad that truly loved us but another set of parents...godparents who loved us tremendously. They didn't have children of their own at the time so we were their "Cookie and Candy" as they nicknamed us.

My godparents went to the same church we did and it was a known fact that we would sit in our godparents lap during service. My godmother had the most richest, wonderful singing voice. My godfather held both my sis and I on his lap at the same time. He would hand us each a piece of candy to keep the wiggles away.

We also spent time with them at their house where we loved tickling our godfather. He would pinch us and then we'd pinch him back. Eventually, it became our way of reminding him that we loved him, always writing on birthday cards, "Pinch Uncle Herschel for me." They brought joy to us as much as I know we brought joy to them.

One memory that I hold close to me is when Uncle Herschel decided to take us, "his girls" fishing for the first time. It was all we could talk about. It was going to be our outing. Needless to say, Uncle Herschel had to unstick our fishing lines from so many trees as we attempted to catch the biggest fish, that eventually, all he did was sit back and chuckle. I realized then, that that was what made him the happiest...spending time with his girls.

They moved to Michigan when we were 8 years old. It was a sad time for us. I never imagined what life would be like without them around.

Friday, my godfather passed away. The helplessness of knowing that his prognosis wasn't good was tough for me and my twin sister. We wanted to be there, to say goodbye, but most of all, give him one last pinch.

For now, we'll just have to owe him one!

Things I've Learned Thursday

2010-11-10T20:52:00.000-08:00

1) Never microwave caramels in a plastic container unless you want a hot, sticky mess all over the microwave and counter tops.

2) Chocolate covered cinnamon bears are the perfect fall snack!

3) Veterinarians should charge for their services by the pound of the animal. Single Boo's kitty, Amelie weighs barely a pound. For something so small, her appointment was a bit on the pricey side.

4) Never watch a scary movie (one that you claim is pretty corny) and then get lost in some dark mountains, climbing in the middle of nowhere. You will start seeing Godzilla, King Kong, Chucky and the clown, It. Note to self...laughing is so much better than crying.

5) A good book is one with characters that come alive. I'm reading a manuscript right now that has the perfect combination. Look out publishers, it's on it's way!

6) Elderly people are so cute! I hope that I'm a cute old person!

7) I know this is going to be one of the most stupidest comments and I promise...I'm not saying this to be funny...but squirrels make NOISE. I didn't realize they did until one of them cursed at Sam, my puppy.

8) Cleaning off my hard drive is worse than cleaning out my closets. So much unneeded junk!!

9) Why do some people find it so utterly amazing that I don't curse? It's not a big deal...I just don't have a need for it. Personally, cursing is plain old overrated!

AND.....The biggest thing I learned this week is....

10) I got a job! The job is 20 hours a week for hopefully, a few weeks with the intent of it being full time in the future. (Hopefully, the NEAR future.) That's the part that I'm nervous about. Although I'll be making almost half the amount I was making at my previous job, I am honestly blessed to have the opportunity. I won't start until the 29th. I'll be in administrative support which is something I've done in the past. Thanks for all of your prayers. I will never look at having a job the same way again.

What have you learned?

Beautiful

2010-11-08T11:25:00.000-08:00

I haven't gotten lost in blogland, although there are times when I admit I don't know whether I'm coming or going. I'm still here though and plan to get back to regularly visiting all of you soon. In the meantime, I wanted to share a glimpse of fall weather here in Oregon. I'm so very blessed to have a beautiful palette of colors splashing before my eyes.

Some of the pictures are right outside my house but the majority are from the Japanese Rose Gardens in Portland. Enjoy!

When You're the Best of Friends...

2010-11-01T21:49:00.000-07:00

It doesn't matter if you speak a different language, you still can communicate loud and clear.

It doesn't matter what color you are or what shape your nose or ears are, you're still loved just the same.

It doesn't matter if you are afraid of things like the vacuum cleaner, thunder, people who don't like you because of who you are, that friend has your back.

It doesn't matter if bark loudly or talk softly, whether you're the belle of the ball or the wall flower, your friend will never leave you to face it alone.

You will understand that certain quirks or habits are what makes a person unique. (Even if it means licking your paws instead of using a napkin.)

You have to have strong shoulders for carrying one another's burdens, listening, reaching out and lending a hand. Sometimes a surprise pounce out of nowhere can wake up the sleeping, oblivious person.

Sharing comes naturally.

Apologies are easily expressed by actions sometimes more than words.

You can't imagine what life would be like without one another.

Make today the day when you show someone just how much you care for their friendship - near or far.

Things I've Learned Thursday

2010-10-28T14:26:00.000-07:00

1) Just because it's not raining when I go into the grocery store doesn't mean that it won't be pouring when I come out.

2) I love it when God surprises me with something right in front of my face. I was in my car in the library parking lot, ready to back out when I stopped and looked, REALLY LOOKED at my surroundings. I was surrounded by gorgeous trees with brilliant red leaves. I just sat with my mouth open in awe. I was like a kid in a candy store. Never have I really had the joy of experiencing something so beautiful in California.

3) Jolly Joes, the candy that I used to eat when I was a kid, still tastes like dirt!

4) There was so much more I wanted to say in the post, "Can't Take Away My Memories" but couldn't for fear of crying as I wrote it. Let's just suffice it to say that there are some things that will never again be the same.

5) On one hand, I save when I use coupons but on the other hand, I buy stuff that I normally wouldn't buy just because I have a coupon.

6) There is an auto shop that is built around the decor of a 50's diner. It is one of the most magical places I've been to in a long time. They literally have old magazine issues of Life and National Geographic, serve free coffee, hot chocolate, a limo ride home (I kid you not)AND a free loaner car.

7) In order to officially settle here in Oregon, I need to learn a bit about the Oregon Ducks and the Portland Trailblazers. Sorry Lakers...I have to do this.

8) When calling Crimestoppers and I'm on hold for 15 minutes and the girl returns and asks, "So what's the crime?" after I've explained it to her, it's time to call the police instead.

9) I just love Southern accents. I'm not poking fun but I find myself literally pronouncing words in my head as I listen to people with accents, talk.

10) I'm so very grateful I don't have the ability to lick my feet but I sure wish my puppies would get the hint. It is the most annoying sound in the world!!!!

What have you learned?

Can't Take Away the Memories

2010-10-25T19:29:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've seen my life in pictures - like a slide show running behind my eyes.

I've seen my oldest daughter, Married Boo, when she was 1 year old, carrying a cd cover of Whitney Houston around as if it were her security blanket. She would fall apart if it wasn't packed in her diaper bag.

I've seen youngest, Single Boo, discovering "Santa Claus has been here" and saying it over and over again while shaking with excitement.

I've seen the first time that my twin sister and I competed in a Most Alike contest at the county fair and won third place.

I've seen Baby Boo sucking on her fingers as I held her for the first time. Then, her clomping around in Single Boo's shoes, trying to mimic her every move.

I've seen the fear on my face then a smile, when I realized that I was talking before a church audience and they actually were enjoying listening to me speak.

I've seen the fun of throwing snow balls on the roof with Single Boo and I and loving every moment of it.

I've seen the first time I caught a big fish and remembering the feel of the weight of the line.

I've known the hard times of letting go and of realizing that some things will never be the same again. But one thing that can never be erased are the memories. I hold those close to my heart. Those memories will always remain frozen in time.

Things I've Learned Thursday

2010-10-20T14:03:00.001-07:00

Wow, it's been a learning week, I tell you!

1) Salt on a wound really DOES stop the bleeding. I thought I was going to have to take a trip to the ER after slicing my thumb really deep. It bled (more like dripped) for an hour until I called Dr. Dad and he said one word, "Salt". I poured salt on it and within a minute, it had stopped.

2) Singing silly songs that I called Doodee Doos, puts a kitty to sleep in a catatonic (pun intended)like state.

3) Dark chocolate covered caramels from Trader Joe's are my new favorite love. What a combination!

4) I dreamed of a passionate kiss between someone unknown (to me at least) and I. Should I put up a Wanted billboard in hopes of finding him. I think he was my soul mate. Too bad I woke up.

5) I still follow the 5 second rule and kiss it up to God ONLY when I'm at home and whatever it is that I drop is REALLY worth it.

6) When I get a really nice thank you card from someone, it makes me want to send them a thank you card in return.

7) People really go all out for decorating for Halloween. I guess I'm an old stick in the mud because I have never put up Halloween decorations. By the way, why do women wear nasty nurse costumes? I've never seen any nasty nurses when I've been in the hospital.

8) I'm usually the most non irritated person but lately, I find it extremely irritating to listen to someone discuss their whole life on their cell phone while standing in a check out line. I seriously don't want to know all of their business.

9) I'm becoming very good at recycling. I've never worked so hard at deciding what goes in which trash can or how to recycle something. Craigslist and Freecycle has been great!

10) It makes me sad when I hear about tv legends like Barbara Bilingsley and Tom Bosley dying. I feel like they were family members as I was growing up.

What have you learned?

Guest Posting on Things I've Learned Parent Style

2010-10-18T22:45:00.000-07:00

I've been invited to be a guest blogger at Mandy's Life After 30. The topic is on parenting and although I'm not an expert, I was flattered that Mandy asked if I'd talk a bit about my life as a mom.

My daughters aren't little anymore but the memories of when they were little still live on.

Also, don't let this be your only visit to Mandy's blog. She is one of the most adventurous, creative mommies I know. (Not to mention that her and Kirk are such a cute couple and their baby girl, Vivian is one little one that I totally would love to spend a day with. She's adorable!

See you there!