I did something scary yesterday. Something I really don't do or for that matter, like to do. I LOOKED AT MYSELF. Without any clothes on (getting ready to hop into the shower), I took a look and surveyed what I would call "the damage". I saw wrinkles and dimples and scratches and fat, OH MY! I saw a tummy that could use plenty of sit ups and boobs that were no longer vibrant with life but sagging from age. I saw beauty marks that have appeared out of nowhere. But I saw ME! I realized that in spite of my disappointment of what I looked like in that mirror, I am a work in progress and always will be. I will never be content with the way I look on the outside. I will never be perfectly content with my hair, my legs, my stomach, my toes or even my arm pits. I can use what I've got to make it better or I can sit back and become complacent, thinking, "I am who I am and God loves me just the same". So much of my life I've spent worrying about the outside of me b...

My twin sis and I have had many close "brushes with death". At least, to us, they were "close brushes". One day, we were in our room, practicing for our "stage debut aka becoming famous singers. I picked up the closest thing to a drum stick and began to bang. What was it that I picked up???? A thermometer. I banged and we sang. Suddenly, I noticed silver balls resembling bb's on the floor. I bent down to pick one up and it split into 4 more smaller balls. Wow! I called my sis over to see the "magical bb's" on the floor, not realizing that those "bb's" were actually mercury from the thermometer. We touched and watched them split, wanting to see how many smaller balls they'd produce. One of us brainiacs then decided to figure out what those magic balls were and where they came from. Left sitting on the chord organ was the broken thermometer. Oh man! The atmosphere changed. How many times had our mom told us about people dying ...

I lost my precious boy, Sam on Saturday to liver cancer. As sudden as it was....he was fine last Sunday and by Monday, he was struggling. I have so many wishes. I wish I could've held him and kissed him a million more times. I wish I would've been able to play with him and his squeak squeak instead of being absorbed in the typical busyness of life. I wish I would've told him over and over again how much he changed my life. Nine years ago, Sam was etched into my heart. I called him the Million Dollar Dog because he had so many close brushes with death, yet, he was resilient and tough. He gave and gave, even when at times, I knew he was too tired to give. My Termite Inspector was and will be missed beyond words. I really don't know how I will find life okay without him because he was such an integral part of my heart. For now, all I can say is I love you, My Sam. You are my number one boy!

The joy in finding someone special has been amazing and exhilarating and more than anything, fun. After meeting some horrific toads, I can easily say that the prince has arrived. Not Prince as in Purple Rain but the prince as in someone that I am cherishing spending time with. We are enjoying the chance to develop not only a friendship but build on our strengths and work together on our weaknesses. We both know that God has a sense of humor because with his 4 and my two + two bonus son in law and soon to be son in law, it makes for a very full heart. We have laughed so much in the last few weeks, more than I ever thought possible. I have even shed tears of joy. I find that I wake up smiling and fall asleep, smiling. If this is what it's all about, then I'm head over heels, anticipating the other surprises along the way. Last year, this same time, I was wondering where it was that I was supposed to be. I questioned my purpose, my desires and most of all, direction. Being unemplo...

I've learned that I fail miserably at breathing. Yes, breathing. I didn't realize that I did until I went to my pulmonologist who asked, "Why are you holding your breath?" I told him that I WASN'T holding my breath, I was breathing. He said, "You THINK you're breathing but there's hardly any air coming in or going out. So, you decide - are you breathing?" I think it began when I was little. I was an allergic kind of kid. I looked at grass and I grew welts. I wheezed and sniffed and sneezed for months throughout the year. I got used to my chest hurting and to compensate for that hurt, I taught myself how to breathe, my way. So, years later, I'm told that my way is like barely living. I'm killing my lungs and my heart and preventing healthy blood flow, all because of my very own, self taught breathing style. Life has been like that for me too. I sucked at times when things got tough early in my life by just being and not doing. I thought ...

1) Bringing home a date for the first time to meet my kids doesn't break a sweat as much as him meeting my puppies for the first time. I had to warn him to wear thick socks just in case. 2) The most annoying sound in the world is someone popping their gum. The sad thing is that they don't hear themselves. 3) I cried inside when I heard about a three year old walking around in 3 inch tiger heels and callling her mom the B word. What is our world coming to? 4) Spring rain is an oxymoron, right???? 5) I have fat behind my neck that I didn't know that I had. Maybe that's why my head doesn't turn completely around. 6) Slugs are homeless snails.. Does anyone know where they lay their heads? 7) Denny's is celebrating bacon and has a maple bacon ice cream sundae...sounds interesting to me. 8) Kittens love bubbles, and dog food and opening up closets and hiding and putting their tails in your face when you're trying to sleep. Oh, and kittens also like to prete...

Sometimes it's easy to believe that there's no happy ending stories left to share but I've witnessed the love between my twin sister and my brother in law and they are a true inspiration. They've celebrate 26 years of marriage and still can say that they are the best of friends. 1) At what moment did you know that he/she was the one that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with? Syrone- We were just freshmen in high school when Michael and I first met. Within a few days, he gave me a note to that basically said that he liked me, and wanted to know if I would go with him. I thought he was a bit goofy, but after a few late night phone conversations, I agreed to “go with him.” During one of our long conversations, he started talking about how one day we would get married and have kids… I thought he was nuts since we were only 14 years old. We eventually broke up but ended up bumping into each other several years after graduation. I was shocked to see that my little,...