Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Ain't It Precious?

I finally figured out a way to get myself out of having to tell a small fib..you know the kind that you feel bad about...such as, "Do you like my hair?" or "Here's a picture of my baby girl, Precious Poopsie". From now on, my answer will always be something like, "Ain't it precious?" or "She's so precious?" I'm not much up on the southern slang but I figure if I can add just a slight twang to it, it will sound believable. So, today, I vow that when someone asks if I tasted their new fangled concoction that tasted like hay, I will say, "I sure did and it sure was precious!" Even one better, when I really want to make it sound believable, I'm going to add the word "SO" to it. For example, "Didn't you notice? I got a boob job?" My answer, "That's SO precious!"

But while I'm on the subject, have you ever been straight out honest and told someone the truth? Like, for instance, they tried out a new recipe on you and your response was, "This is crap! I can't eat this!!!" I just can't bring myself to do that.

One time, the very first time I had dinner with my future in laws, now outlaws since they are my ex's parents....his mom served brussel sprouts. Lord, I hate brussel sprouts. It tastes like cow doo doo on a stick!!! Anyway, instead of me telling her that I hated it, she fixed my plate full of them little manure patties. So, I ate them. I didn't chew them. I swallowed them. Whole!!! My throat hurt for two days after that. Have you ever swallowed brussel sprouts whole? Ewwwwww!!!!!!!!

The moral of the story is that when it comes down to hurting someone's feelings, always head towards the "Ain't it precious?" statement but when it comes to eating manure like vegetables, be honest! Hell naw, I'm not eating brusself sprouts! I'd rather eat toe jam fresh from the bottom of a boy's locker room!!!
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8 comments:

jill jill bo bill said...

You are too funny! sheesh, I almost said SOOO funny. Thank you so much for the birthday wishes and for being my friend!!! And I love your picture! You are a kock out- SOOO NOT PRECIOUS!!!

Julie D said...

Ahahahahahhahaha....the brussel sprouts thing is killing me! Nothing like swalling a mini bowling ball whole, eh?

Julie D said...

Just so you know, I used this line today on someone at work!!!!! She showed me pictures of her little girl's upcoming Halloween costume (which was THE BUTT UGLIEST thing I've ever seen) and I just said "Oh, that is so precious!" Then I laughed internally and knew I had to comment you about it! LOL

Unknown said...

I'm so glad my wisdom can be of help! hahaha

I would've said the same thing in that sickeningly sweet voice, "Aww, ain't it precious?"

Pancake said...

OH GROSS!! You ate the sprout!! I feel so bad for you!!! YUCKY!!

YEAH, not so precious...

Anonymous said...

Came over from Queens blog. It was the chocolate reference!
I love sprouts, especially with a proper Sunday dinner or Christmas Dinner. They do have a rather unfortunate side effect though...!

Can't believe you ate them whole, hope they were overcooked.
I try to be honest now and do say "I wouldn't choose that for myself, or say that I have a bit of a bowel problem and 'such and such' sets it off, to get me out of having something I don't like.

Off to find the chocolate!!

Unknown said...

Hi,

Stopping by to introduce myself, I'm doing Secret Santa also.

Unknown said...

Heyyyy you took my words...sometimes i say sooo adorable or so awesome but i totally mean it!...LOL

I added you in the blogger follow thangy but if'n you added it on your blog...I'm just sayin LOL

 

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