Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Frands

I received a rude awakening the other day....it hit me that blogging has many forms of relationships bundled up in one big ol' blogworld. In fact, blogging is very much like online dating but better. With blogging, you can follow a person and not get accused of stalking. You can have a blogroll a mile long and no one will accuse you of being a "playa". You can stop following a blog and there's no hard feelings (not usually.)

But, there's also a frand factor that exists and one that I admit bugs me. A frand is someone that is a fan and a friend or someone that is a fan posed as a friend - thus, the meaning can be a positive or a negative, depending on the way you view it.

The positive version of a frand is knowing that no matter what you do or say, your frand will always be not only be a fan of yours but will stick by you, through some tough stuff and the not so tough stuff. The positive frand would give honest input while always looking to be supportive and encouraging. Meaning, if I colored my hair a certain color, I'd want that frand to say, "Girl, that color just doesn't work with your style." Would I be ticked? Heck no. That's what frands are all about. With frands, there's always the joy of talking on the phone after commenting so many times...sometimes, emailing and comments just don't measure up to laughing together or just hanging out.

Then, there's the negative version of a frand. This frand is often found when blogging. It's a person that agrees with everything you say and comments on how cute your "ugly" dog is or has memorized your favorite foods, drink, last book read and can recite it just to let you know that she/he is a REAL frand. Those frands come out mainly when there's a giveaway but when there's a REAL need, like a shoulder to cry on, the negative frand is nowhere to be found.

Being that I'm all for being real, I'm appreciative that I have so many positive frands in my life. I one day look forward to hanging out or meeting your face to face or sharing some laughter over the phone...after all, there are many reasons for blogging but that's been my number one joy!

So, thank you for being my frand!

17 comments:

blueviolet said...

Blog world is a microcosm of the real world and there are certainly both types of friends out there as well. It's our job to discriminate between the two kinds, right?

Sandi said...

I am sorry I had to be the RUDE AWAKENING, However, I don't you think you should judge all your friends, fans and followers the same way. I bet there are people that read you, and consider you a friend, that would go to the ends of the earth for you and give give give because they have a VERY different life and emotional bucket than I do. I am sorry again for hurting you and hope you will forgive me someday.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Wow - just catching up on your blog. Food for thought....

I'm sorry if you were hurt. :(

And yes, I DO like the Frito toe smell!! :)

Hallie

Lin said...

Uh, are you having a giveaway here or something???

:) Just kidding. I hope I fall into the "good" frand category!

Heart2Heart said...

This is true, no matter what forum you use, Facebook, MySpace, even plain old emails or phone calls. It all comes into the same scenario. I call those frands, fair weather friends. They only stick by me when things are good and they are gone the minute my life is falling apart.

But I have found some amazing people I would go to the ends of the earth for and back again all because of this thing called blogging!

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

I have found the greatest friends through blogging....and many I hope to meet face to face....I love your honesty....

Tami said...

I agree with Violet! So very very true

Ina in Alaska said...

Frand! What a cool word. I guess each blogger has their own philosophy. My policy is to try to be supportive and a friend (frand?)

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

@everyone who commented...

When I began blogging, I had just moved away from a community that I had lived for 21 years, new job, new life and a Boo who's work schedule was opposite of mine (still is). I was lonely and wanted familiarity but that wasn't to be found in this desert so thank God for blogging. It has been a place not only to forge new friendships but also still keep my writing chops fresh.

Not everyone will view things the way I do but in my desire to blog, it was because I looked forward to making new and treasured friends and I have and will continue to do so.

But, as I have said before, if I have 3 true friends instead of 500 followers, I consider myself blessed because I believe that friends are family created from the heart.

Frau said...

I always try to comment where I have a opinion and if not I just read and continue on. Old rule if you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing. Blogging has been a life saver to me in a Country where I know nobody and do not speak the language.

Veronica Lee said...

I hope I'm in the good frand category!

Justine said...

I know for sure I'm one of those positive frands, 'cause I have an inability to lie.

Justine :o )

The Peach Tart said...

I Heart You!

Joanna Jenkins said...

I hope by the end of lunch today you still think I'm a frand :-)

xo

Hyla said...

I commented on something similar on Twitter last night.

How with giveaways, you can bump your status counter by 300 hits per day. But those people were not actual readers of your blog and probably didnt even read the review.
:sigh: They are the ones missing out.

ethelmaepotter! said...

Frand - my new favorite word! I comment when I have something to say that hasn't been said already. And I am breaking my own rule here, since Frau has already said that!

mother goose said...

I am a blogger who is who she is. Take it or leave it. I like to have a relationship with everyone I read. I wanna know about them. Some sort of connection. Even if it is just commenting.
I had a private blog only 10 other bloggers whom I never met.
Something went seriously wrong and it ruined blogging friendships.
However, for me it was just blogland and not real life. Had we known each other I am sure things wouldn't have gone array.
But, I need to focus on the real.
I do want you to know that when I befriend someone. I would drop anything and give anything to that person if I had or could.
I keep myself very guarded. I am friendly to all where I believe people feel I am a good or close friend where I have only felt they were frands to me.

 

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