Monday, October 29, 2012

Breathe...just breathe...

As I'm typing this, my 11 year old shih tzu, Selah is breathing rapidly. She is sound asleep so more than likely, she is just having a dream. I wake her up and pet her and her breathing slows down.


I stop and her breathing starts to rapidly increase. I realize that she is mimicking me. The last few months, I have been forgetting to breathe...to come up for air. I admit that life has been a challenge for me but I'm still here, somewhere, hiding beneath the busyness and stress.

I love being who God has called me to be...a wife, a mommy, a stepmom, a pastor's wife but there are challenges that have left me wondering how I'm going to survive the storms.



Being a wife has come easily. J is such an easy man to love. He looks at me, knowing that what he sees in me is a treasure. He protects me, loves me, soothes me and gives me strength.

Being a mom has been pure excitement. My girls always know that seeing them and having them close by makes me smile non-stop.



Being a stepmom has had it's challenges. I won't lie. I sometimes wake up and pray that it's all a dream. I love the kids but they don't get me or the way I like things to be. I often feel like I'm speaking a foreign language in my own home. Yet, I accept the challenge before me, doing my best to "count it all joy" and praying that one day soon, they will be out on their own and finally understand just what it means to be responsible and respectful.

Being a pastor's wife has been exhilarating and busy. I hate saying no but I'm learning to step back and really weigh things out. Can I add one more thing on my plate? Will it cause me to stress more or will I handle it with grace?  Also, being a pastor's wife means reaching out at times when I'm even too tired to smile. Yet, I do.



The greatest blessing in all of this is that I am learning to breathe. When I walk downstairs, ready to walk out the door to go to work and the kitchen is messy beyond words, I allow myself a moment to breathe. I walk out the door, still breathing.

One of the things I'm good at is holding my breath. In fact, I don't even realize that I'm doing it, I just do.  But it takes the lack of air in my lungs to cause me to see that I'm in need of air. I've decided when life hands me tough moments, I am going to breathe. I'm going to find a place to go where I can find my breath again.

It may be here at home or by the crashing waves of the shore hut I'm going to breathe like never before. Are you with me? Are you ready to breathe?


71 comments:

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

Me too.....Same here...I have been purposely not making the bed...something
I have NEVER done and just shut the door and taking a breath...I need to learn to breathe

Love you

Mari said...

I'm with you. Sometimes I get so busy going, doing... Good reminder for today!

Brian Miller said...

smiles...learning to say no...a great tool...and hard in ministry as well feeling the wieght of others expectations....have been there....but glad you are finding your way through it and learning to breath...a healthy you makes for a much more enjoyable life...

Formerly known as Frau said...

Just breathe keep saying it Simone! You can't do it all and change everything either....your health and sanity is more important. Just breathe!

Chatty Crone said...

You know I do the same thing. I don't have any tattoos and won't, but if I did I would have the word breathe written around the underside of my wrist. Good for you! sandie

Adam said...

I think my dog mimicks my mom's snoring.

Vodka Mom said...

YOU are e blessing.....


:-)

Anita said...

I don't know whether to give advice or to sympathize with you as others have done.

You probably know that I'm going to give advice. :)

Basically - it's too much! New wife, new children, pastor's wife, job...

It "CAN'T" be fixed. Stop trying to fix it.

If there are things that are expected at church or home and you don't have the energy for it, don't do it. What are the consequences? Somebody doesn't like you for a while. So what.

As you know, I'm very passionate about the roles women feel they have to play; all the while, sacrificing health and joy. Life is short.

Hugs :)

Lin said...

We all need to learn to breathe and breath DEEPLY! If you take a yoga class, you will quickly realize how we all gulp for air and hold our breath far too often. We need to open our chests and breathe deeply to fill our lungs, live our lives, and be at peace.

Practice slow breathing when you are in traffic or standing in line. You will suddenly feel calm and peaceful again.

Life is hard--and especially when you have had those changes in your life such that you have had. Be easy on yourself....and breathe DEEP!

BerryMorins Bits & Tips said...

Oh my gosh! Yes, I'm taking an online yoga breathing class! It helps me with my stress, calms me down and slows down my breathing.
I can tell the difference when I skip a day.
It's always a treat stopping by your blog. You're so honest and share your experiences with us. I truly appreciate it.

Ina in Alaska said...

I agree 100% with Anita's comments. Being a stepparent is thankless charity volunteer work. One day those kids will move out. Seriously if I knew what life was going to be like after marrying a man with 5 kids I never would have married him. All of his kids are grown & gone & it was very very hard. I do not have any relationship with most of them to this day. We are "friendly" but there are no birthday cards, acknowledgments of any significant life events & I have always felt like I never mattered as far as they are concerned.

You have been thru so much Simone. Just enjoy your daughters, dogs & husband & let the rest of it go.

SouthLakesMom said...

Simone, before taking things on as a pastor's wife, you can set an example by saying, "let me get back to you on that. My husband and I need to pray about it." It models praying before acting, honoring your husband, and honoring the church body by recognizing that it has many parts, not just the pastor and his wife! You're doing great ... just exhale sometimes.

Sweet Tea said...

You're wearing a lot of hats - makes me need to take a deep breath to just think about it all. Breathe, Girl, and breathe deeply. Each breath is a gift!

Jill said...

We've all been there...but the best thing we can do is realize so much is out of our control and life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it. Sometimes we can be our own worst enemies :-) Big hugs to you as you go through this transition in your life. Remember this too shall pass.

Blessings,
Jill

Helene said...

Oh gosh, I'm the same way. Sometimes I have to force myself to really focus on breathing and staying calm. It's amazing, though, how stepping away from the stressors for a little bit and taking some deep breaths can really clear your mind!

Relyn Lawson said...

Oh my!! You have such beautiful girls!!

Linda Myers said...

I have six stepkids, all grown and gone now, who came with the usual challenges.

I learned to adjust my expectations about people changing. When I was able to change my own attitudes things got better.

You have a busy life!

Buckeroomama said...

*hugs*

Thinking of you today, Simone. A very good friend from university just visited me today. She has recently moved to Eugene. :)

Mary Owen said...

I get ya! It's nice learning more about you and your family. I've been blessed to know you, and hope we have many more moments to share. Blessings!

Anita said...

How ya doin' Simone? Just checking in and saying hello. :)

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Taking time to breathe can be a challenge most of the times. Your life is very busy but I find comfort in knowing your happily married, that's important. I have never had step children and I imagine that is a huge challenge. I will pray for them. Their enlightenment will come. I imagine being the wife of a pastor can be draining. It is okay to step back. Don't ever feel guilty about that. God knows your heart.

Veronica Lee said...

Breathe Simon, breathe!

God Bless!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Hello, this weekend is pleasant in support of me, as this moment
i am reading this fantastic informative article here at my residence.


Here is my web blog ... breed a gold dragon ()

 

Template by BloggerCandy.com | Header Image by Freepik