Sunday, September 21, 2008

Color does matter sometimes

I didn't used to be so fiery but it seems like the older the get, the more passionate I get. When I for something, I'm really for it and when I'm irritated or have a pet peeve, I REALLY have a pet peeve.

One of the biggest issues I've experienced in my life time is racism. No, this is not the time to insert "But some of my best friends are black" but a chance to hear what's running through my head.

I was born in L.A. so the first three years, most of my peers were black. When I was four, my family moved to an area where we were minorities in every sense of the word. We (my sisters and I) were blessed to go to Christian schools from elementary school to high school. Yet, there, we were also minorities. Our black friends (from the church we attended still) made fun of us talking and sounding like we were "white" and we were often excluded from our white friends by their parents. One time, while on a field trip to a classmate's horse farm, the whole class was invited into the house for hot chocolate after viewing the horses. The kids were either sitting on the couches or the floor. Sue's mom, in front of all of our classmates, said, "Susie, please tell your black friends to sit on the floor." My twin sister and I were humiliated but sat on the floor. This was in third grade!!!

Well, even in blog world, where there is a place for us all to chill out, talk and make friends, that sorta thing still exists. It may not be blatant but enough to make me feel like I did when I was in third grade. I stumbled upon a post on someone's blog where there was a remark made towards someone black that was harsh and insulting. I understand freedom of speech and I even understand that I if I didn't like what I read, to keep moving on. I just wish that this type of thing didn't exist at all. Why should the color of one's skin determine whether they are included in on the personal jokes are the brunt of them?

So, in spite of me being my usual bubbly, funny, comical person, I'm fired up. Enough already! We look exactly the same on the inside!!!


Julie said...

Good for you. That would fire me up too....

Julie said...

By the way, I need to tell you that your comment on my post about my anniversary literally made me cry. I am SO sorry you had to endure your marriage ending like that. I guess I should feel lucky that my ex and I didn't have kids, and I don't have to have his affair thrown in my face all the time.

I'm glad you've met someone new and are happy, I hope to do the same one day!

jill jill bo bill said...

To my bosom budy, CCDd-
I think I am your white triplet.We are the same size, except I wear a 6 1/2 shoe and a fourteen doesn't make me suck in all day!

I loved your post and am so sorry that you had to endure the ignorance of racism. I was raised with both parents having friends of all races and feel very fortunate that I, too, have friends without their race being any issue. They are my friends because we like the same things, have the same sense of humor and even deeper, have the same beliefs. I will tell you though, most of my girlfriends who are of any other color than white do not come over when invited unless it's just them and their spouse. Maybe you can help me figure this out.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Julie - Thank you!

Jill - I always knew there were three of us but I had no idea it was you!!

Racism is nothing but pure ignorance. My son in law is white. My bonus baby is black and hispanic. My teen boo is "in love" with and dating a white guy who is totally a sweetheart. I honestly don't get racism. We are all the same on the inside (parts wise not heart wise).

My guess is that your friends tend to feel uncomfortable when there are others invited as well. It may not be on purpose, but there have been times when I've totally felt out of place because of the comments mistakenly made. Ie, at a dinner party with my ex and I where we were the only black people, an elderly lady (white) said to me, "Oh you both look so nice. You're dressed wonderfully. You people don't normally come to functions such as this so it's nice to see you dressed so appropriately." Other people at the dinner also commented in surprise, "Why you're SO articulate!" They may not realize their implications but that sorta thing happens often. I can't speak for your friends though but that may be my guess.

Will it ever stop???

Julie said...

I left you something on my blog today.

Megryansmom said...

HI I came from 47 and Starting Over. On a mission to find new blogs to read. Just stopping in to say hello.


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