Monday, October 20, 2008

Confessions of a junk collector

I first headed down a life of hoarding….um…collecting…when I was 3 years old. I started out first collecting bees. That’s right, not the letter B’s but bees as in buzzing. My twin sister and I decided to see how many bees we could catch. We got stung, ran in the house, got the stingers pulled out and went right back outside to catch more. We were like Steven Irwin but Bee Hunters instead.

The next collection was white little “baby” worms that we thought were just born. There were millions of them falling out of the trashcan outside and millions more underneath. We scooped them up by handfuls and put them in jars. We were going to start our own wormery. Once more, we ran inside to show our mother. She gasped and said, “Go throw those nasty maggots outside and come back inside and wash your hands with soap and hot water.”

The next collection was perfectly harmless – rocks. Until we ran out of space in our drawers, our closet, even our shoes. We just couldn’t find anymore spots to hide our “pretty” rocks. Our mom discovered our collection and ordered us to toss the rocks outside. It just didn’t seem fair. How come our older sister was allowed to put those big colorful lollipops on her wall? She would get them from Disneyland or Knotts Berry Farm and instead of eating them, she would hang them on her wall. It was a waste of good candy if you asked me. But, as fate would have it, her collection soon took on little crawling minds of their own in the form of ants. Billions of them. That was one time we were glad we had promised that we would never collect anything that had feet and belonged outside. She was on her own in exterminating her antsie friends.

My twin sister and I were crafty and creative with our collections. We saved empty vanilla flavoring bottles, stamps, cereal boxes, Barbie shoes, lost teeth, shiny pennies, broken crayons, marbles and unidentifiable objects.

Now that I’m a grown up (at least I act like one most of the time), my collection is much more sophisticated. I collect cookbooks, books, paperweights, figurines, carnival glass, advertising cans (from way back when), Little Rascals memorabilia, shoes (the kind that you wear—I have to have some way to justify buying so many of them). The problem with my collections is that once more, I’m running out of space. I’ve been told by my boo that unless I can find a place for it, I can’t collect anymore “stuff”. My solution?? Find a larger place to live. After all, every woman needs a collection or two!

What do you collect and why?


Deb said...

lmao!! you collected maggots! that's disgusting and funny!

I collect miniature clocks - well, they weren't always miniature. I used to collect just any kind of small desk top type clock and then they became mini. It was all anyone bought me for any and every event for a while. Then I started telling people I stopped collecting them so thae I could get more fun gifts. Like jewelry, clothes and new electronics. Much better!!

jill jill bo bill said...

Weird, Deb! I collect clocks, too. And crosses. I have like 50 of them all one one wall. My husband's hispanic workers asked me if I was scared of vampires.

McEwens said...

MAGGOTS!!! GROSS!!! I love the way you write, I can just see this happening!

I collect books....

Julie said...

I collect dysfunctional men. No, seriously.

Other than that, the only thing I really collect are glasses from wineries where I've gone wine test/tasting, and snowman things for holidays.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Oh yeah! I forgot, I collect snowmen too. Julie reminded me. My collection gets bigger and bigger every year.

Deb - I like the idea of collecting jewelry. I especially like vintage but not gaudy.

JJBB - crosses? That's a very unique but cool collection. But, they are all hanging on the wall? Are you sure you're not afraid of vampires?

Pam -- Thank you. I write for magazines (women's mainly) and currently, waiting publication on a children's book that my twin sis and I've written.

Julie -- don't feel bad. There are more dysfunctional men around these have to be selective "VERY" selective. I like wine so I'm sure I'd love wine tasting.


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