I'm a big girl now!

I am reading the book, Captivating by John and Staci Eldredge (actually re-reading it). The first chapter talks about how as little girls, we enjoyed playing games where we were always either the center of attention or the one in need of being rescued or saved. That got me thinking....when did all of that change?

When I was a kid, "boys chase the girls" or "girls chase the boys" was one of the most greatest games ever! (Being that we were in first grade, being chased by someone that had cooties didn't seem to be all that pleasurable). But, then there was such a good feeling to run and then be captured by a boy. (I personally think some of those girls ran slow just so that they could be caught!)

Then, when I was in fourth grade, I no longer thought that it was cool to be chased by the boys. They smelled funny, picked their noses, carried nerdy lunchpails, always had dirt streaks on their faces and farted.

When I reached sixth grade, going with a boy was a scary thing. It meant that he would possibly get the nerve to hold your hand and maybe, just maybe, try to kiss. Those were conflicting emotions for me, back then. What happened if he had bad breath or sweaty clammy hands? What happened if he was a bad kisser? What happens if he did the unthinkable and tried to get more than a kiss?

By the time I reach high school, I was cool and ready to be selective. I was waiting for that specific boy to come into my life...to rescue me from...ummmm...I'm not sure what I needed rescuing from but it sounded good anyway. I dreamed that my prince would whisk me away and we'd be married and live happily ever after. NOT!!!

When I reached my twenties, I had practiced being a grownup for what seemed like a long time. When I got married and had my first baby, I thought, "This is a piece of cake!" Not!!! Not only did he not rescue me, but he added more on my shoulders than I thought possible. His expectations of me were to look a certain way, act a certain way, cook a certain way, think a certain way....there was nowhere in the "rule book" that said that that was supposed to happen.

Now in my 40's and divorced, I've found a new attitude. Forget being rescued and chased. I can make my own mischief and for the most part, get out of it on my own too! It's nice to be held and loved by my Boo but I've found a sense of what I want and need, all on my own. Gone are the days of longing to be chased or captured. I've found a contentment and peace that comes from sitting still and quiet and letting things unfold all on their own.

Okay...who's house needs to be teepeed next??