The Doctor is In

I need help....maybe psychological help of some sort. I have taken to playing doctor way too seriously and have begun self-diagnosing myself.

It all began when my then husband, now ex came home and described a co-workers symptoms. I asked questions and wrote them down and then got on the internet and with the search, came up with his diagnosis...Diabetes. I told my ex, "He needs to see a doctor; he's diabetic." Surprisingly, I was right.

This led to the heightened excitement of diagnosing others and even volunteering to do surgery (after all I do have a scalpel). The disclaimer is that if you should die or suffer brain trauma, you will not hold me responsible!

The harm comes in diagnosing myself. I have had *according to my diagnosis* lupus, fibromylagia, leukemia, asbestos related airway disease, Lyme disease, dustmititis (new disease I discovered) and stress baldness. I recently went to the doctor for pain and swelling in my foot that has now radiated to my knee. She wants to send me for an MRI. I'm thinking, it's more than likely bone cancer. I may want to save her all of the research and just tell her to send me the bill.

***I'm definitely not meaning any harm to sufferers of those diseases, I mainly wanted to share my "stupidity" of self-diagnosing.

I've now come to the conclusion that I need to either hang up the stethoscope or open an underground medical office. Any takers for the first surgery??? I'll give you a huge discount.