It all started when Boo kept snoring instead of getting up to make me a cup of coffee before I left for work. Yes, I'm spoiled like that. It's been years of me doing for everyone else and not allowing others to do for me so I'm in training and I like it!
Anyway, I threw my lunch in my lunch box and scooted out the door. I waved at my overly smelly dog who kept me up all night, with serious flatulence issues...*Note to self, find Gasx for Dogs at the store".
I got out of the car and into work and as I looked behind me, there was a white trail following me. Somehow, I didn't put the lid on the milk container correctly and it was pouring out of my lunch box as I walked. I wiped it as much as I could and then used my foot to hide the white spots on the floor. (I had to, my boss was walking in the door.)
Breakfast time came and I was hungry, starving. I was desperately seeking milk but it's not milk...I call it milk. I drink mocha mix because of being lactose intolerant. There were three drops of MM left so I dripped them into my bowl and attempted to eat my granola. Granola sticks to your throat without lots of liquid to help swallow it...in case you didn't know. So, I'm hoping that I don't have to perform the heimlich on myself when I found three drops of water left in a water bottle. Gulp!
Next, I called Boo. "Booooooo!" I whined. "I've had a crummy day and I didn't get coffee this morning!" I waited for him to volunteer to bring me a cup (we live 5 minutes away.) My whining wasn't sympathy getting enough because his reply was, "I'm sorry Boo Boo (that's what he calls me) but I have to go to the bank. Hope your day gets better!"
I think on top of the growing balls lessons, I need lessons on how to whine properly. Any professional whiners willing???
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15 comments:
I'm quite good at whining but I'm sure there are many more better than me out there.
If I knew what Granola was I could pass comment. It sounds like something I might feed to the gerbils (If I still had them)so I can't for the life of me see why YOU would want to eat that anyway.
I'm a professional whiner! Just ask Jonathan.
You have to accentuate certain things, & make them really exaggerated. You also need to perfect the puppy dog look; that'll get him every time. If you're on the phone, you need to be able to do the perfect puppy dog voice.
So with all that, it should be like:
Baaaaabe, I'm saaaaaddd. My breakfast got ruiiined. & you didn't make me any coffee. :[ (Poke your lip out when you're doing this, that'll help the puppy dog voice along.)
If all else fails, squeeze out some tears. HAHA. =]
LOL, no good at whinning, sorry....
Not good at whining, Just giving the "stank face" and "the silent treatment"
Thanks for following.
Peace - Rene
I dunk my granola in a cup of tea before popping it into my mouth.
You have to be sexy whiney. Then they think they might be getting something in return for their deed. Suckahs!!!!
JJBB, Sexy whiny??? I never new whining could be sexy. You'll just have to demonstrate how that's done. I just don't see the big picture.
Hahaha, well at least he was doing something. I obviously stink at whining because I always end up doing things for myself and everyone else in my home. Well oneday I will have a maid, cabana boy, lawn boy (oh,I married him).
Promise him a blog job. It works every time. (You never actually have to deliver, just the promise alone will get a man to do pretty much anything!)
Oh.
My.
Gawd.
A "BLOG" job? Jeesh. I meant a blow job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am soooo the Queen of whining.
I'm the baby of the family and perfected *the whine*.
Doesn't always get me what I want though:(
Seriously laughing my ass of at Jules. Blogging is now in our sex lives:)
LOL I don't think the blog job would work with Boo but maybe the blow job???
LOL at Julie!!! HA
I never need to whine. All I have to do is say "Miiiiiiike" and depending on the inflection I've used, he knows exactly what I want. It's great. I guess 24 years in training are finally starting to pay off.
Whining doesn't work. I like the reverse mind-meld gotcha trick.
For instance...today.
Snowed. AGAIN. Hubby had the truck - no, MY TRUCK - at the Police lot and once again won't be home tonight while he is working a file. And it went like this...
Hubby: "I won't be home on time again tonight."
Me: "WHAT? I was hoping you could pick me up after work."
Hubby: "Sorry."
Me: "Can you bring the truck here (10 minutes apart downtown) and take the car? I got stuck TWICE last night."
Hubby: "Now, by stuck do you mean the wheels were spinning or you were actually stuck."
Me: "Actually stuck."
Hubby: "Sorry. We have to go do this search warrant. There is a small chance I can make it down..."
Me: "How small?"
Hubby: "10%."
Me: In little voice...this is KEY..."Oh. OK. I'll just park at the bottom of the road and walk home."
Hubby: "Sorry."
Hang up. 10 minutes later phone rings.
Hubby: "I've got 30 minutes, meet me in your parkade and I'll take the car."
Soooo, you have to let him win...but leave him with something to eat away at his insides till all he can picture is your broken body in an alley. Yep. Works every time.
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