Sunday, July 19, 2009

Grandpa said S%$#T!!

My grandpa turned 100 yesterday. He lives in Oklahoma and it's been years since I've seen him. It's not that I haven't thought about Grandpa but traveling to that area hasn't been on a to do list at this point. I decided to give him a call - at the nursing home where he lives. According to my dad (his son) Grandpa is pretty sharp, loves sports but can be hard to understand. Not a problem, I was willing to turn up the phone volume if necessary.

Thing is, he doesn't answer his phone so I called the nurse's front desk and she forewarned him that I'd be calling, so he answered the phone.

Grandpa: Hellooo??
Me: Grandpa, it's me, Chanice.

Grandpa hung up on me!

I waited two minutes and called back.

Grandpa: Hello?

Me: Hi Grandpa!

Grandpa: Sh--t!

Me: Uhh, Grandpa (stuttering cause he said the S word quite clearly.)

Grandpa: (interrupting) I don't know you!

Me: Yes you do Grandpa! I'm one of the twins.

Grandpa: I don't know you. Lookee here. I'm getting ready to eat dinner. Call back later.

Click. He hung up on me again. I was determined to wish him a happy birthday, even if he hung up on me twenty more times.

I called my dad and told him, "Grandpa said the "S" word." My dad was shocked. I guess Grandpa doesn't usually curse. Leave it to me, his granddaughter to turn him into a cursing man!

My dad encouraged me to call again...that he would forewarn him that I'd be calling.

I waited a bit giving Grandpa time to chew and digest his food and called him again.

Grandpa: Helloo??

Me: Hi Grandpa! Happy Birthday. How are you? This is Chanice."

All of this is coming out fast so that he won't hang up on me without at least hearing me wish him a happy birthday.

Grandpa: I know who you are!!
(I wish he would've said that two phone calls ago.)

Me: Happy birthday, Grandpa!

Grandpa: I'm 100 years old. On the 18th.

Me: Wow that's old, I mean, wow!

Grandpa: I know how old I am!

Me: Did you have cake?

Grandpa: mumbrlblymb

Me: Oh. That's good. (No idea what he said but that was the first response out of my mouth.)

Grandpa: Lookee here. The phone keep ringing. First you call, then your daddy and then you call again. I'm trying to watch sports so maybe if you don't call, I can watch.

Me: Okay Grandpa. Enjoy your sports. Happy birthday!

Grandpa: Thank you.

For some reason, that phone call tickled me. I laughed not because Grandpa cursed but because I remembered when I was little, Grandpa would always send me and my twin sister a dime taped to a piece of note paper for our birthdays. Every year, he never missed until we were maybe 12 years old. When we'd go to Oklahoma to visit him, he'd hold our hands and take us out with him to feed the chickens and his pig, Gus. He would quietly laugh as we tromped through the mud, coming back with eggs in our hands. There was something about being out in the country. My sister and I would sit in the dirt and play with caterpillars, catch fireflies and chase the chickens. It was like being in another world when we were visiting Grandpa.

I just hope that Grandpa enjoys his time left here on earth. He's quite a character and you know, I now realize that the fruit don't fall far from the tree.


Buckeroomama said...

Wow, his 100th birthday! :)

I miss my grandpa. I have so many good memories of him.

Veronica Lee said...

Happy Birthday to your grandpa!
He sounds like a very nice man.

Tami said...

100! WOW.

He's hilarious. heh heh.
I got your message today, sorry for not returning it. I've been so tired today, I'll call you tomorrow after work, (I'm starting my walking again so it might be after 8?) is that ok?

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

What a milestone....

Ina in Alaska said...

Happy 100th to your Grandpa!! What a milestone! xoxo

skywind said...

Happy 100th to your grandpa , and i hope your grandpa have a healthy body.

blueviolet said...

That is so funny! He's still got spunk! Happy 100th!

anne h said...

The big 100!
Feisty enough to hang up on you - that's saying something!

Frau said...

Wow your gramps rocks! So funny he is full of sass! I love it!

Mandy said...

What a great story! Thanks for sharing! I'd give anything to have either of my grandpas back. So it's a great thing you did calling him (several times) so he'd know you were thinking of him. Now my grandmother is in a nursing home and I hear from my dad all about her crazy shenanigans over arguing with the cafeteria lady, fussing that she didn't win bingo, stating that she didn't really want watermelon but she gets back into line for a second helping. They really become like children again, just wanting the simpler things in life. But that wisdom - that unfolding wisdome that we can all learn from! (P.S. - my grandpas cursed ALL the time. Now if only I could get my mom to say some profanity. I think I'd fall on the floor!)

Deidra said...

That is just too funny. I guess by the time you're 100 years old you've earned the right to answer the phone or not, swear whenever you want, and watch sports on your birthday, uniterrupted. Happy birthday to your grandpa!

Danica said...

Ah Happy birthday to your grandpa!

DebraLSchubert said...

Wow, 100 - that's a whole lot of years. Good for you for your persistence in wishing him a happy birthday. He sounds spunky, just like his granddaughter.

mzbehavin said...

"Grandpa said SH%^!" And Janine says: Damn.... That was GOOD!!!! (and made me laugh so hard I had to run for the little girls room...)

You are BRILLIANCE! Have I mentioned this???

glnroz said...

made me smile,, tell him a lot of folks are wishing him a happy B'day.(during the commercials-sports). Best part is you letting him be himself.. :)

The Peach Tart said...

You Grandpa sounds like quite a character. What a blessing even if he did hang up on you.

Ina in Alaska said...

I'm back! The other day you left me a comment about the job situation in Alaska....well one thing I know for sure is we will soon have a vacancy in the Governor's office now that Miss Sarah has QUIT!!! :)

Actually the Lt. Gov. will step in, but you may wish to start a campaign fund! Smiles to you today!!!

Chris said...

100! Very cool!

Justine said...

Wow, 100! God bless him, and he still likes his sports!

Your phone calls just totally cracked me up. I think it's so sweet that you kept calling after he kept hanging up on you! And what sweet memories you have of your childhood with him.

Justine :o )

Dawn (dandy) said...

Ha! The S-word and the hang ups had me cracking up. What a character! Happy 100th Bday grandpa!

Elle Bee said...

This was so sweet. Both of my grandpas are no longer living. Reading this brought a smile to my face and some memories to mind.


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