Thursday, July 2, 2009

Things I Learned Thursday

1) Planning even a small wedding is going to be a bigger undertaking when we are both different types of thinkers. For example, reception menu - Boo - a mixture of In N Out Burger, Vietnemese, Soul Food and Mexican food combined. Me - Simple - keep it on a theme but a non-multicultural theme. ***He's just kidding (I hope) about the In N Out burgers.

2) There's so much that can be learned from my kids. They know the coolest music artists and songs, how to send text messages, sync the ipod, the most fashionable fashions and how to apply makeup correctly, changing blog layouts and most of all, how to love me for me.

3) After being curious (thanks to Sandi) about Lady Gaga's Poker Face, I now have the song stuck in my head.

4) I will give anyone the benefit of the doubt until proven wrong. Case in point, Humble, our 4 1/2 month old brute of a dog ate a plant, shredded a box, went swimming in his water dish and ate the patio sofa cushions. My defense for him was that he was bored and needed more toys to keep him stimulated.

5) When a two year old has chips, gum, candy, ice cream, soda, and popsicles when that isn't the norm, be ready for a full blown meltdown.Ten o'clock at night to be exact.

6) Where there is one ant, there are usually more to come. Keep an eye out for them to call their relatives from Russia, Africa, China and Walla Walla. Before too long, they'll be having a family reunion in your package of cookies that were just bought from the store.

7) Cheating is just plain wrong, no matter if the excuse is that someone has met their soul mate. If he wife was smart, she should've had all the locks changed before he got home.

8) Dog farts should be considered lethal and harmful to humans. There are the silencer farts …the kind that aren't heard but the smell hits all at once. The noisy, trick ya farts….those are the ones where they are heard but aren't smelly. Then there's the innocent who me farts….the kind where your dog looks at you instead of taking full responsibility for his actions. There's also the infamous green fog fart…the one that's smell lingers in the air and a green haze drifts around the room until everyone is holding their noses. Lastly, the tasted it farts….the ones where you can almost swear you can taste what they've digested.

9) Music has really been a calming force in my life this week.

10) When I die, I plan to go quietly. I don't need a big to do….after all, I'm going to be stuffed anyway. Each of my kids will have the privilege of me being in their lives for 6 months at a time. I also hope that the mortician will do a bit of lipo while I'm being stuff so that I can fit back into my skinny jeans.

What have you learned?


Deidra said...

I just got all caught up on the sex series...a little late to the party. Jesus in the bedroom, dogs in heat, swappin' all had me on the edge of my seat! It's funny what we know (and don't) about sex and how we learn what we learn. I'm in awe of you for sharing all of that.

As for your Thursday list, I love Boo's idea for reception food.

Lion-ess said...

I remember once smelling a dog's fart.. very pungent.

blueviolet said...

I love that my kids know the answers to everything I need to know but yet, when did the tables turn? They'll never know less than me again.

I don't like this ant phenomenon. You're scaring me.

Lin said...

I knew I was in trouble when Joe knew the words to Poker Face before I did. Scary. My my my my Poker Face....

roy/elisabeth dean said...

OMG!!!! I feel like I have WASTED the last 2 years that I have been blogging! I sat down tonight and read through your blog....I can't STOP LAUGHING! I wish I had been reading all along! You are so funny and a very talented writer!

Thank you for stopping by my place. My hubby's test came out good...we're very thankful!

Have a wonderful weekend~

Nana said...

lol.Stuffed? It feels like you're talking about a tukey on thanksgiving. I rather be cremated.

Clarity said...

I followed your link from Deidra's blog. First off, I agree with most of this list, true and fun, but won't get more dogs partly because of 4 and 8, also I want my love to be shared with humans, dogs tend to grab a lot of it from us over time :)

Your intimacy series (may I call it that?) was interesting and open. Although I'm not married I know people of other religions who say a prayer first also asking for God's blessing, then erm... carry on. I think this is to purify it while still not being distracted by the idea of The All-Seeing, which I think the pastor may have misconstrued. Then again I think you made your own way despite that (whipped cream?). I am too shy to type more :)

travel girl said...

Isn't it the truth about those ants. I don't like them in my house but they are pretty fasinated.

Tami said...

I LOVED your list!
More so #8. Bella tends to look at US, like we're the culprit! The dirty look to say.. you nasty human.. you should be ashamed of yourself! When it's HER!

I can relate with them ALL!

I will be callin ya today after my grocery shopping.Can you believe I watched TV and slept!? Up at 4:00am now.. LOL soon to be 5 had to catch up on every ones blog..


Chris said...

I like the stuffing idea!

Veronica Lee said...

I have yet to smell a dog's fart, LOL!! You're too funny, Simone!!

Joanna Jenkins said...

Having participated in three wedding in the past 18 months, I can say, without a doubt, simple is always better when trying to keep your sanity. But, In-and-Out Burger does have a nice ring to it.. as long as there are no dog farts in the area :-)

Your posts are the greatest!

Have a terrific July 4th!

Kwana said...

Loved your list. Stuffing is just hilarious!


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