Saturday, October 10, 2009

A guest post by TV Boo! Things I've Learned... Saturday?

Hello, Hello.

TV Boo here! I know, I know... It's Creative Saturday. But I have to be honest, my Saturdays have not been so creative lately. (Unless you count getting creative with some bathroom cleaner in my shower earlier.) My Saturdays usually consist of grocery shopping and catching up on the cleaning I've neglected during the week. Either way, I'm so excited to guest blog for my mom! Maybe I can return to guest blog another Creative Saturday, because I'm going to make it a goal to stop sitting on my butt eating bacon every weekend, and start sewing, baking, or putting my Rosetta Stone to use and finally learning to speak French.

Ready for my things I've learned? I must warn you, the fruit has not fallen far from the tree. My mom and I are partners in crime, and she passed her quirkiness onto me.

Okay:

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1. A picture may be worth 1,000 words, but no sunset is worth trying to take a picture of while going 80 mph on the freeway. It just wasn't worth the truck driver honking his deafening horn because I was swerving into his lane.

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2. Whether it is the "sexy tree lady" at the San Diego Zoo, (true story, the picture proves it) or a promiscuous girl in Las Vegas, knowing a woman is making eyes at Lover makes me want to punch a bookshelf. 2a: Did you know that girls are actually slutty enough to use the line "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" in order to pursue my boyfriend after finding out he is taken? Ugh.

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3. Lover bringing home a kitten that I've always wanted has turned out to mean only two things: One being she is the most evil cat I've ever encountered, and Married Boo can now vouch for that. Two, is the cat loves my boyfriend, and my boyfriend only. I'm tempted to get another cat just to see if that one will love me and not emulate Satan, but I just can't take that risk.

4. Just because you're watching the evening news doesn't mean the evening news is written, edited, and ready to go. I wish there was a highlight reel where you could watch watch me running through the newsroom with my hair flying behind me. One time, a producer paged me and asked if I could edit and send video for breaking news that was going to air in 45 seconds! I let out a nervous laugh, wanted to pee in my pants, and then... sent it on time! I don't know how, don't ask.

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5. I don't think I'll ever walk in heels without looking and feeling like a giraffe. Enough said.

6. Working 5 minutes away from home may seem convenient, but someone forgot to mention that the side effects are road rage. If it takes me longer than even 7 minutes to get to and from work, I'm ready to play bumper cars.

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7. I've learned to not reach for my cup on the coffee table so eagerly after leaving it alone for a minute or two. You don't know where its been.

8. I've learned that walking by the tennis courts at my apartment can lead to me feeling violated, like I just accidentally walked in on someone peeing. Why? If you close your eyes, hearing the tennis players grunt and scream everytime they hit the ball sounds like an X-rated film.

9. Screw losing a sock in the dryer, what about a drawer that is mysteriously doubling as a black hole? Things I've put in there have vanished. And yes, I've looked underneath!

& 10. I miss my mom. :(


Thanks all for reading! My mom talks about you often, you keep her constantly smiling and laughing.

Before I go, I know advice from a 20 year old might not sound convincing, but I'd like to leave you with one more "Thing I've Learned". Whenever your life has begun to feel dull, just tell yourself that tomorrow one thing will happen that will surprise you. Whether it is a phone call from an old friend, accidentally leaving the gas pump in your car and driving away, or being under-charged at a restaurant, look forward to that one thing that will separate today from yesterday.

And instead of ending with the question "What have you learned?" I have to leave you with the rhetorical question that is honestly plaguing me at the moment:

If you find that a good friend has invited you to their party which advertises a pool, spa, and stripper pole... Would you politely decline? This is by far the oddest party invitation I've ever gotten, hands down.

Thanks for having me! :]

8 comments:

Vodka Mom said...

I've learned that only way the bathroom will be clean is if I clean it myself.


darn it.

Deidra said...

Yep. Just like your mom! I loved this! Every bit.

ethelmaepotter! said...

Go to a party featuring a stripper pole? Are you kidding? When the one and only time that I went to a nightclub featuring a stripper pole, my mouth became frozen in a look of permanent shock? Not likely that I'm gonna accept that invitation.
But I do love the picture of your 80-mile-an-hour sunset. And Lover and Devil Kitty are adorable!

Joanna Jenkins said...

Great job! Your Mom will be proud of you :-)
xo

Frau said...

Love it and I agree the apple does not fall far! Great guest I enjoyed it. Have a wonderful weekend.

Ina in Alaska said...

Oh this was totally fun!! Come back please, TV Boo!!!

Elle Bee said...

Hahhaa, TV Boo, you are hilarious!! I loved reading this. And yes, I'd probably decline!!! :o)
Elle

Danica said...

Yup just like your Mom. Love it!!!

 

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