Tuesday, October 27, 2009

This is what I feel like


This was Sam's favorite toy that he used to play with. (Notice the past tense.) Don't know what struck him - frustration or exhilaration...only Sam knows.

The last few days have been the same for me. I've been thrilled to my toes to meet Deidra face to face. I promise to do a post set aside just for our meeting. It was wonderful beyond words.

I've been saddened to tears by the loss of my big brother born from another mother. Growing up, I never had a brother. It was something that my twin sis and I always wished for. He came into our lives as someone that our older sister dated and then, when she moved on, our brother stayed in our lives. Over the years we kept in touch, with him always telling us how much he loved us. We lift our glasses to you, Craig.

I was also exhilarated. Although the wedding date was postponed, my twin and my niece stole me away to a girls' weekend in Vegas. It was great seeing Vegas through the eyes of a 13 year old. We stayed up late, laughing and sharing our most embarrassing stories. She also got to see how nutty both her mom and I are when we get together. I promised her that I wouldn't do anything to get us arrested and I held true to that promise.

Most of all, I'm happy. I may not be celebrating my wedding but I am celebrating my dad's 74th birthday. Even though he's miles away in NC, I'm excited that God has given my dad another year to celebrate.

Hopefully, the week will usher in some quiet moments because I am craving that as well.

How are you feeling?

21 comments:

Menopausal New Mom said...

So glad to hear that you had a wonderful weekend although I do want to extend my sympathies on the loss of your big brother. I wish I couldn't relate, but sadly I can.

Hope your dad has a wonderful birthday and I'm so pleased that you are feeling better.

I'm feeling pretty good myself, might be because I just dropped off my 3 1/2 year old at her Early Learning School after three days of what seemed like non-stop screaming!

♥georgie♥ said...

A weekend away sometimes is just what the Soul needs...

I am sorry for your loss, so sorry

Happy 74th to your Dad!!!

sherry ♥ lee said...

I can see why you feel like Sam's toy! You've had ups and downs to cope with over the last little while...your big brother's passing, the wedding not happening as planned...but you've had some good things -- your father's birthday, a wild weekend in Vegas (!) and you met Deidra...and I'm eager to hear about that and see some photos of you two beautiful women!!!

Sending you hugs & sympathies on your loss and hugs for brighter tomorrows.

Suz said...

I am saddened to hear about your brother. It is hard to lose a sibling.
But,overall, it sounds like you are landing on your feet. Dee told me she was going to meet you and I am jealous. I can hardly wait to hear the stories.

Happy Birthday to your Dad!

Happiness is a choice and you have made the right choice!!

Nezzy said...

Sounds like a girls weekend was good medicine for your soul. I am so sorry for the loss of Craig. My heart goes out to his family.

Wish your daddy a happy birthday.

Better days are to come sweetie, ya won't always feel like Sams toy.

Sending you positive blessings.....

Heart2Heart said...

Sometimes I think I have days where I feel like the toy torn to pieces. Thankfully however, things are on the brighter side and going well. Sounds like you all had a wonderful time. Seeing Vegas through the eyes of a child gives you a completely different perspective on what they think is fun!

Passing along many birthday blessings for your dad!

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

ethelmaepotter! said...

I feel...
...hope, because you have shown us that, even through devastating loss, you can still laugh and enjoy life;
...anger and frustration, because my sister and her adult son are draining my aged parents, emotionally and financially;
...helpless, because my daddy A) refuses any kind of financial aid from friends, family, or society, and B)refuses to discontinue his support of these parasites, even though it means he can no longer afford his own mortgage payment and he will lose the house;
...loss, because my sister is going back to New Hampshire tomorrow;
...torn, between sitting here in comfort and blogging or getting up to start supper;
...rushed, because Fred will be home in twenty minutes;
...loved, because Spooky is snuggled beside me, purring;
...cold, because it's just plain wet and dreary today.

The Peach Tart said...

I'm soooo glad you got away and had a great time in Vegas.

Anita said...

Wow Simone! What an emotional roller coaster you've been on. You are an amazing person. In the midst of sadness and disappointment, you manage to keep your spirits high.

I'm feeling okay. Thank you for asking and caring.

Blessings.

Kwana said...

I'm glad you are doing so well. I've been having a time of it. Stuck in a crazy cycle and your post today has made me smile. Thanks.

Lin said...

Gees, lots of things going on in your life--from one extreme to the other. I hope you settle down to a little less excitement soon. I hope you are doing okay, pally.

Buckeroomama said...

I am SO glad to hear that you had a great weekend in Vegas with your sister and your niece. Sounds just like what the doctor ordered. :)

I am very sorry about the loss of Craig.

Happy 74th to your dad!

Boy, within such a short period, so many ups and downs. But Simone, just "ride the wave" (or whatever more suitable expression it is that you use around there)!

blueviolet said...

I'm glad you were able to get away. I'm so sorry about your loss. Blessings and happy birthday to your dad!

Joanna Jenkins said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Craig sounds like a wonderful part of your life. My heart is with you.
xo

Veronica Lee said...

I'm really glad that you had a great weekend.
I'm so sorry for your loss.

Happy Birthday to your dad!!

Frau said...

Happy Birthday to your Dad! Deidra is an amazing person so glad you two met. I hope you find peace with the passing of Craig and your heart heals. Vegas sounds like the medicine you needed. Have a wonderful day today and do something special for yourself ...eat chocolate!

My name is PJ. said...

Your post left me with a happy feeling. Your readers have all been concerned about you and you've put our minds at ease. Sooooo glad you're enjoying life!

Ina in Alaska said...

Hi Simone! So excited you got to meet Diedra!! Looking forward to that post! Some day if I get to your part of the world I would love to meet you too. Sounds like the Vegas getaway was a nice break for you. I LOVE VEGAS!

So sorry about your older brother from the other mother... tough to lose those you love.....

Your words convey to me that you are feeling a bit better/adjusted. What will be will be. We are still here (your sisters from other mothers) xoxoxo

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

I'm feeling pretty ok. Still running on a high from the speech this weekend and now looking forward to some vacation time with John.

So glad you had some Vegas fun. Every gal needs that.

Hallie :)

Btw, your word verification is making me type FAT ENTER. Not very nice!!! Is it calling me fat?? :)

Danica said...

So happy you had a great weekend in Vegas!!!!

Happy Birthday to your dad!!!!

I'm so sorry for your loss. HUGS

Rona's Home Page said...

Sorry to read about your loss.

 

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