Peeling An Orange With a Screwdriver
Here is the winning entry...
Dear Younger Self,
Ok, first off, I wanted to tell you that it gets better. Really it does. French kissing is not supposed to make you want to throw up. I think it had something to do with the food in his mouth. If it makes you feel any better, you never kiss him again and believe it or not, in a few years, you will find yourself in a constant lip lock with one particular member of the opposite sex (no, you don’t know him yet) and you will like it. A lot. No worries there. (So yes, you do like men. But let's try to not like them quite so much, ok?)
About the move...I know that right now, you feel like it’s the most terrible thing mom and dad can do to you. But trust me, it will be a very good thing. I promise. You will meet a lot of amazing new people; people that will change your life forever. (And anyway, in several years “social networking” will be all the rage. Someone will invent a thing called “facebook” and you’ll be able to reconnect to all the people you left behind. And raise pigs and join the mafia, but I digress.) At the new school you’ll meet the girl who will become your very best friend (and one of your favorite people to this day). You also meet the kissing boy that I mentioned.
I’m not going to lie and say it will all be rainbows and kittens. You will have a few issues to contend with, but they will all leave you with a better understanding of your fellow human and a better understanding of yourself. And despite the cliche, they really do make you a better person.
But just a tip..do not “go out” with the first guy that asks you. It’s a mistake. Trust me. Oh, and while in the locker room, always, always make sure that the locker above you is closed before standing up. It will save you a trip to the nurse. Also, always make sure that the hem of your skirt is not tucked into your panties when leaving the restroom. That will save you quite a bit of embarrassment.
I’d like to tell you to not take that “year” off from college, because you don’t end up going back. But I know if you had gone back, you wouldn’t have got the job you did, you wouldn’t have met the man you married and you wouldn’t have had your three beautiful kids. And I have to tell you, where you are now is a great place to be. I wouldn’t trade it fer all the edukashon in the world.
But I will tell you that when someone close confides in you, do not betray that confidence. It will be something you regret for the rest of your life.
I want you to know that you’re doing ok. You really are. Looking back, I’m proud of the girl you are, the girl that I was. I’d have changed the hairstyle and dumped a few of those outfits (the whole sock-with-pantyhose-hiking-boots-skirt look should have gone, same with that off the shoulder denim top you used to like so much) but really, all in all, you’re going to be ok. You’re going to infuriate your parent’s with some of your choices. They will have been right to doubt you, but I’m not going to tell you not to make them. You’ve learned something valuable from every single one of those decisions. They’ve made you who you are today. And really, that’s not a bad thing. Of course, it would nice to not have all those negative signs in the checkbook. So, you know, if you get a chance, you could learn a little bit about money laundering or something. Just kidding.
Anyway, enjoy each day because it will fly by. One day you’ll wake up and your own children will be screeching at you for something or another and you’ll pause and thank your mom for not beating you as a child. After you have kids, you’ll see what an herculean effort that took.
And believe it or not, your brother is going to be one of your best friends. So don't throw that chunk of concrete at him, ok?
See you soon.
Your Older (wiser, better looking, more stylish) Self
My sister found that there were so many great entries that she had to enlist the help of her magazine staff to choose the winning entry.
I loved the creativity that everyone of you put into your letters. I found myself wanting so much to wish those letters into your younger selves just to see if they would make a difference.
A tremendous thanks to all of you for participating. If I had a Wii Fit Plus for all of you, believe me, you all would've won.
I'd like to thank Nintendo for allowing me the opportunity to preview their newest Wii Fit Plus item. I wasn't paid money to endorse the product in any way but was given the chance to try it out first! I came to the conclusion that it is GOOD!!!!
In the near future, as I am heading to my 300th post, I will be doing more giveaways, and I hope you will enter those as well.
Dear Peeling An Orange With A Screwdriver, please email me with your name and address and I'll be sure to ship your Wii Fit Plus to you as soon as I can get to the post office. Congratulations on being not only humorous but also honest in your letter to your younger self.
The Beloved Hope Chest
8 hours ago