Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Lifeboat, continued

"I" was in shock. "H" used to joke with me and tell me that God took him all the way to Korea to find a wife. His wife didn't know or want to live without "H".

After the memorial service, there were whispers in the gym. "What is she going to do?" Yet, nobody asked her, "What can I do?" Except me.

I thought about how "H" seemed to have a premonition that he wasn't going to be here much longer. He would come into the gym and see "I" and I laughing and talking together and he'd leave us alone, giggling like school girls.

Little did I know that "I" would have deep faith in God yet want to curse "H" for leaving her alone. Many times, she looked up at the sky and yelled, "Why you leave me? I hate you!" Then, she'd cry.

She decided that she was going to do nothing. Not eat, not sleep, not drink water. The only thing she managed to barely do was to drive her daughter to the gym. Even then, she got a ticket and went hysterical, blaming "H" for not being there to drive their daughter instead.

I realized that she was becoming invisible and untouchable. She had grown thin and refused to eat. I went out to her car where she sat, in front of the gym. She was listening to a tape of "H" who had a Christian radio broadcast. Tears were sliding down her face.

I listened for a minute and then handed her yogurt and implored her to eat it. She told me no. I begged her. Then I told her, "Look at me. You are my friend and I will not let you die. If I have to become your shadow until you eat and drink, I will. Now eat this, please."

She said, "Easy for you, Simone. You have a husband (at the time, I was married). Just leave me alone. I just want to die." She looked up towards the roof of the car and started sobbing loudly. "God why won't you just let me die? Huh?"

"I try to park my car on the train tracks, but no train comes. I try not to eat yet, why won't I starve to death?"

My answer was, "Because God isn't finished with you yet. He has great plans for you. Trust me on this."

She had money from his life insurance policy that she refused to deposit to pay her bills. She had never paid the bills before. She didn't want the life insurance money because she told me, it was like a trade off for "H"'s life or the money and she'd rather have "H". I volunteered to walk with her into the bank to deposit the check.
She refused.

I asked why she wasn't cooking for the kids anymore. She said, "If I starve then they starve too. They aren't crying over their dad like I am so maybe they should starve too." I knew that it was nothing more than grief talking so I made a deal with her.

I told her that I wanted to learn to cook Korean recipes and I would show her how to make American dishes. I was shocked, she agreed.

In the kitchen, we cooked bulgogi, California roles, fried chicken (which she said to "H" looking toward the ceiling.."Ha Ha, we get fried chicken and you don't get any." She had never fried chicken before because "H" was very much into healthy eating. We cooked for hours and when we were done, we had a spread of food on the table. The kids ate tacos and burritoes and chicken and meatloaf and all kinds of food until I thought they would burst.

Little did I know that that was the beginning of her healing. A few days later, she called me and said, "Guess what? You have to come back over. The kids have eaten all of the food. Even the food in the freezer. And guess what else? I took the money to the bank...the insurance money AND I paid bills."

I told her how proud I was of her. She said to me, "No, I didn't do anything. You, my sister did it."

"H" has been gone for 8 years now. "I" has changed in so many ways. She is a cute, spunky lady that laughs and makes others laugh. Her kids have both graduated from college and she's decided that she is ready....for ME to find her a husband.

She will always carry the grief and tremendous love for "H" but she's learned that it's in letting go that she has found out that she is a strong, beautiful woman who has so much love to give.

Her daughter made it to the Olympic trials but due to an injury, wasn't able to compete. She went to Stanford on a 5 year scholarship and is now teaching. Her son is following so much in his dad's shoes. I know that "H" is smiling down on them all and saying, "Beautiful, just beautiful."


Bombshell BLISS said...

What a beautiful story. When it ended yesterday, it was such a disappointment. Still, the ending today was well worth the wait. Thank you.

Queen "B" said...

Aloha, I am so glad you stopped in!
even more I am wiping the tears for all of you!.Your post is touching...and contains the truth of it all...everything that really matters...loving thy neighbor as thy self, I am so blessed to of shared your story...I love happy endings...God is good!
Aloha hugs from across the sea

Torie Jayne said...

Hi, What a beautiful story, very touching, Have a sweet day!

Mari said...

Such a beautiful story of enduring, and continuing on. Good for you for stepping out of your comfort zone and pushing I.

Suz said...

Simone -

How beautiful. You saved 3 lives with your caring. God certainly works mightily through you.

We should all be looking for opportunities to serve Him in that way.

You inspire me.

Deidra said...

This is a beautiful story, Simone. Thanks so much for sharing it.

My name is PJ. said...

A story of love, loss, hope and inspiration.

I really enjoyed running the emotional gambit, Simone. Great posts!

Kwana said...

Oh thank you for this beautiful story and for the good tears from it today. We all have to go on in the face of adversity.

suzicate said...

What a beautiful ending to a sad story. You are a wonderful person to have as a friend. I'm sure she cherishes you. In the morning, I will post an award for you, I hope you will drop by to pick it up!

Frau said...

Love that story you are a wonderful friend.

Ina in Alaska said...

Letting go... that is the real key... and having a wonderful lady named Simone in your corner. What a beautiful (and equally sad) story, but I am glad "I" and her children have been able to move on... thank you for sharing this story and for being such a friend. Who knows how this would have ended up unless you stepped in to help! xoxo

Nezzy said...

Oh, happy dance, happy dance goin' on here. I does end happier ever after. Now my friend, you have a job before you...you little match~maker you! Yep, I'm a happy camper now that I've heard the rest of the story!

Ya'll have a marvelous day!
God bless :o)

im_anewsoul said...

Simone your story truly touched my heart. You've given me hope in love, faith and in hope itself. Thank you Simone. Thank you so much!

blueviolet said...

Oh Simone, this was so incredibly beautiful! You are the epitome of what a good friend is. Your heart is so pure and kind. Thank you so much for writing this!

Deborah Ann said...

That was so beautiful! Pass the kleenex....

Elle Bee said...

It's amazing how sadness can be overcome. Strength comes from God working through those around us!

The Peach Tart said...

Simone what a beautiful story. You have such a big heart and make such a difference in the world, one person at a time.

Lin said...

Hooray! A happy ending! You were her angel, Simone. Aren't you lucky that god sent you to help her? :) I think so.

Buckeroomama said...

I had a lump in my throat...reading this. I'm so glad that you were able to help her through it.

Christella said...

Thanks for sharing. So beautiful. You are a wonderful friend to have.

Veronica Lee said...

Beautiful story, Simone. You are such a wonderful friend.

lagirl/sweet tea said...

What a wonderul "love" story. It takes a woman to know another woman's heart. God used you in a pwerful say. which totally doesn't surprise me in the least!

Country Wings in Phoenix said...

Oh Sweetie...
This is such a beautiful story. What a wonderful writer you are. What a wonderful friend you are. You know God was shining down on you two as you cooked away in that kitchen that day. You not only fed the kids, but you fed her heart. What a beautiful friend you are.

Thank you for sharing sweetie. I have so enjoyed this story of life. Have you found her a husband yet?

Country hugs and much love, Sherry

Joanna Jenkins said...

Hi Simone, I am just catching up and read both posts this morning. What a beautiful and loving thing for you to do in helping your friend through the grieving process and not taking "no" for an answer. It says a lot about who you are and the kind of heart you have :-)

I take my hat off to you.


Helene said...

I'm so glad you followed up on this story...and I'm SOOOOO soooo happy that, with your help, she has been able to live a happy life again.

I can't ever imagine having gone through what she went through but if God forbid I ever do, I pray that my friends will be as good to me as you were to her.

This is also a wonderful lesson in how to help others. The one part that stood out to me was the fact that you were the only one who said, What can I do for you? instead of sitting around wondering what she was going to do on her own.

Life with Kaishon said...

This was so beautiful! I am so glad you didn't let her give up! You are such a blessing.

I am so thankful for the way God has used her life. Very wonderful!

SMJ said...

I'd write a longer comment, but I'm busy crying now....so beautiful. This really touched my heart.

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