The Chat Room Suicide Attempt and an award

I was given an award from a great blogger, Ace who has decided that I'm worthy. So, thank you, my friend.

In accepting this award, I have to name 7 things that I am a master at. If you'd like to also take this award, help yourself. I don't stick to the rules when it comes to accepting awards. I feel that everyone that blogs is deserving!

1) I'm known as Dr. Mom in my family. If you have a toenail ache or tickle in your nose or maybe an ingrown hair, I can usually make a diagnosis and find a cure (most of the time). It's not unusual for my girls to call and ask for Dr. Mom advice.

2) I'm a master at picking out the best See's chocolates in the bunch. I don't have to poke at them. I just "know" which pieces are the best just from looking at them.

3) I've got skills when it comes to interpreting my puppies expressions on their faces. All it takes is a tail wag or a squinty eyed look and I know exactly what is being communicated. Right now, the Princess (my puppy Selah) is annoyed that her two brothers are stinky boys that don't have no class. She wants her own space or else. (She's not getting it but at least that's what she is trying to convey.)

4) Reading and collecting books of all kinds. I have some really old books that I used to read when I was a kid and books that I collected when my daughters were growing up. I have cookbooks, fiction, non-fiction...I just like books.

5) Cooking...I don't talk much about my cooking skills but I LOVE cooking and can cook with the best of the best. I may not be a gourmet but I know my way around the kitchen.

6) I'm pretty confident in my spelling ability. Ever since elementary school, spelling and vocabulary came easy and it still does. Now, if I can only be a master in Scrabble, then I'd be content.

7) Being creative. Give me some scraps and I'll attempt to make it into something. Sometimes though, it leads me to being a packrat so I have to resist the urge to hold on to stuff.
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On to the Chat Room Suicide Attempt...

Over 12 years ago, I was a moderator for a chat room and website called ParentsPlace. (I don't even know if it even exists anymore.) There were regulars that came in to the chatroom all the time. It was like a club of moms and dads too, just getting together and building friendships.

One lady, Daisy (not her real name) was often in the chat room. She was upbeat most of the time but she had had a hard life and was struggling with depression.This particular morning, she was really down. She hated life...she was tired...just tired. I sent her a private message and asked if she was okay. She told me that she's done "dealing with stuff". She told me that she was online to say goodbye to everyone. I asked where she was going. She ignored me for quite a few minutes and then got combative and told me to leave her the heck alone. She told me she had done something that would make it better for everyone. Finally, she admitted that she had taken a whole bottle of prescription drugs and written a letter for her kids to find when they got off the bus from school. By then, the manager of the chat room was also on board and knew what was going on. While she kept her typing, I called the police in South Carolina and explained the situation. I knew her first and last name but nothing more. They were able to look up her IP address and contact the internet provider to get her home address. Then, emergency personnel was dispatched to her door.

I didn't know what had happened...until two weeks later when she came online again. She thanked me and told me that she was prepared to "check out" but when the paramedics came to her door, she realized that she really didn't want to die. That she wanted her kids to grow up without feeling the guilt of their mom's death being their fault. She went to the hospital where her stomach was pumped, she was placed in the psychiatric ward on suicide watch. Then, from there, she started treatment for depression and anxiety. She had just gotten home as an outpatient.

I felt blessed to be there that day and for her to feel bold enough to talk to me. Had she not told me what she was thinking or how she was feeling, I have no idea if she would be alive today.

From that, I've learned to value the friendships made online. You just never know when someone is crying out for help and you may be the very one to hear that cry.