Wednesday, March 17, 2010

The Rebel in Me continued

The opportunity never came to tell Mrs. Kilby my opinion about her. But, my sister and I led our own personal revolt and refused to participate in her class program where she gave us the roles of Zulu warriors. My mom flat out said, "No way, no how!" and with smiles on our faces, we told Mrs. Kilby, we wouldn't be participating. She turned red and announced to the class that "it was too bad that the twins have decided not to be a part of the program". The other kids actually looked like they were in awe of our stance. Instead, we read books while the others danced in pretend loin cloths.

I loved being identical to my sister but there was this thrill of doing something different too. So, in high school, I decided to be gutsy and join the Speech Club. I didn't realize that that meant preparing and memorizing a 7 minute speech to share in front of the whole student body. This wasn't typical behavior for me...the shy, four eyed girl who often had bad hair days. But, not only did I accomplish it but went on to win third place in a speech contest.

I continued to challenge myself. I took voice lessons, jazz dance lessons and eventually had my hair cut in a short, curly cut. I began to speak up when something was wrong. I had a voice!

There were some major issues boiling over in one of the churches that my then husband and I attended. The pastor made a racial comment and I went to him and demanded he tell me where his info came from the Bible. He told me never to question the pastor. I told him, "If I can't question a racist statement from the pastor, then I refuse to continue attending your church." I walked out and never went back, although my then husband continued for months until he too, saw what I was saying all along.

My biggest push was to break rules as long as I wasn't breaking laws. Drinking alcohol in the denomination I was raised in was a no no but, I challenged anyone to tell me where it said that drinking alcohol was a sin. Even today, I will not hide my wine in the back of a cupboard or the fridge. I don't get drunk or over do it....because it's in the excess that leads to sinful nature.

My next rebellion came when I filed for divorce after my husband had cheated. I grew tired of hearing how God hates divorce. I knew in my heart that we had gone through counseling. We took into consideration that we had children. But, I KNEW that he wasn't going to change. I refused to be a doormat to his unfaithfulness.

My biggest rebellion has been to not change for anyone. I no longer need anyone to make excuses for me for not being the right size or shape or color. I am who I am. Ain't nobody gonna change my mood!

PS--I found Ms. Attitude recently. She always has a smile on her face and seems to be doing very well. I don't think she even realizes how she inspired me but maybe one of these days, I'll let her know.


Nezzy said...

You little rebel you. I have totally enjoyed your series of the rebel in you.

Have a wonderful day!

Lin said...

Oh, Simone--I love your stories here! I'm not sure I consider them rebellion as much as finding yourself and being confident of who you are and what you want to be. I love how you stand up for your beliefs and principles. Is that rebellion or confidence??? I say confidence. Go, pally! I like who you are. :)

Mari said...

I've been enjoying this too. And you know - you needed to be a rebel in each of these instances. Good for you for sticking up for yourself!

Mandy's Life After 30 said...

And this is why I love you Simone. I love who you are and your blog. I'm so glad that you ain't gonna let nobody change your mood! Good for you! Keep the inspirational stories coming. And that is soooo cool that you still know Ms. Attitude.... you should let her know that she influenced you....that is the greatest gift we can sometimes give a person- the fact that they have influenced in a positive, life changing manner.

Menopausal New Mom said...

I loved this series!!! Yes, it's interesting to go back over our lives and see how events and others have changed us and made us into the wonderful women we are today!

Well written!

Buckeroomama said...

I love your little celebration of the rebel in you. If you were in American Idol, I could hear Kara saying, "You know what makes you you. You know what kind of an artist you want to be." Simon would say, "Well done!"

Deidra said...

I think we all need to rebel a bit. It's not until we realize what we're willing to go against the crown for that we start to learn who we really are. Your willingness to take a stand in many different situations has made you a strong, kind, and confident woman!

Ina in Alaska said...

But what happened to Ms. Attitude's eye???

Diva Ma @ Mommy Fabulous said...

I enjoyed reading this story from beginnging to end. Glad that you found your voice. There's nothing better than a woman who can speak her mind and do what is right for her!

Andrea said...

Great series....I am finding the rebel!!

Veronica Lee said...

Way to go, Simone! I totally enjoyed your story.

Good on you for standing up for what's right and your principles.

Joanna Jenkins said...

High Five Simone! Keep up the good work!

Farila said...

I am so glad you met Miss Attitude again.. I love reading your rebel stories.


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