Monday, May 10, 2010

Hypochondriacs Anonymous anyone?

Boo is a closet hypochondriac. (He doesn't read my blog which is a good thing because he'd deny it every step of the way.)

First off...he has allergies. Allergies that he refuses to take allergy meds for because "they make him weak and tired". In the meantime, he snooks and snorts (my terminology for the sounds that comes from his nose when he sniffs). He just announced that his allergies are at a stage 4 which means that he must be incurable.

I've learned to keep most of my ailments to myself because, bless his lil heart, he can outdo my symptoms with his own. For instance, I might say, "My wrist sure hurts from all that writing." He'll say, "So does mine. Mine REALLY hurts. Do you think I should go to the doctor and get an x-ray?" I dare not complain about pre-menstrual cramps because I'm pretty sure he'd think of a symptom that "beats" mine.

In fact, he repeats some stories that he finds are traumatizing. His prostate exam was one that fit into that category. I reminded him that females have it much worse! We not only get poked and prodded with our legs in stirrups but we also have to have our boobs squished between cold metal plates. Then comes the all too familiar questions such as, "How heavy is your menstrual flow?" I also reminded him that birthing babies was definitely worse than pulling a hamstring while playing baseball. He one upped me by saying that, "That's only because you ladies are used to it so it doesn't count".

I've decided that the next time he comes up with some mysterious ailment, I'm going to give it a name like, "hairfallingoutitis", prescribe two Oreo cookies and milk and send him on his way. Oh, but then again, milk makes him tired.

21 comments:

Xmas Dolly said...

LOL - Oh, you're too funny! Let me tell you though My Mama was Queen of the Hypochondriacs. She use to make us all laugh so much. Don't tell her any symptoms because she would have the same thing in less than five minutes. LOL True Story, when I went into labor my mama was having sympathy pains is what the doctor called it. I laughed so hard I went into delivery. LOL Thanks for stopping by, and leaving such a sweet comment.

♥Georgie♥ said...

oooo I like naming the ailments...I have a couple i could use some help on....sorry bout your allergies hope all is good soon!!

Ash said...

LOL - sweet post! you should def complain about your pre-menstrual cramp. pls report back on what he had to say. :)

Buckeroomama said...

LOL! My dad's given to hypochondria, too. *sigh*

Frau said...

.....he is a baby of the worst kind!

Mari said...

You are so funny! My husband is good with most health related things, but if he gets a cold, you would think the world was coming to an end!

Nezzy said...

Careful girl, as soon as you say Boo doesn't read your blog, he'll be all over it! Shhhhh, my hubby secretly reads Pioneer Woman and checks out several others each night. Now don't ya'll tell.

Poor Boo, ya just really have to be careful what ya say in front of him.

Hubby had a great aunt and uncle that were the worse hypos I ever met. He once called up a hospital and tried to book and operating room for a ailment he knew he had without even callin' or seein' a doc. Heeehehehe, now don't ya know somebody was callin' for the straight-jackets???

God bless ya and enjoy this beautiful day!

Deidra said...

You are too funny! I am laughing out loud. Good thing Boo has you to lean on in his weakened state.

Ace said...

I'm thinking there must be some distant genetic link between Boo and my daughter. I just had her at the doctor's for allergies after coming home from work this morning to find she'd stayed home from school because of them.

Danica said...

LOL men are such big babies!!!!!!

Happy Mother's Day. I hope it was a beautiful day for you.

My name is PJ. said...

You know how to make us laugh!!!!

blueviolet said...

Boy does this sound familiar! I have a son who convinces himself he's got horrible ailments. If I remain calm and serious, he will believe me and let it go.

ethelmaepotter! said...

My husband is the same way!
I am reminded of a quote from Gone With the Wind: "The man roared like a bull when a splinter was in his finger, and the woman muffled the moans of childbirth, lest she disturb him."

My once-best friend was the most severe hypochondriac I've ever. She always said that when she died, she wanted on her headstone: "I TOLD you I was sick!"

Veronica Lee said...

LOL! Both Hubby and Rodney are hypochondriacs!

Happy Wednesday Simone!

Anita said...

All of your Boos are your babies, and he's the biggest one. I think you have to give yourself a boo name too.:)

Heart2Heart said...

This is such a classic "man" post! I loved it all and thus the reason for so many of our own ailments beginning with man or men. Men o pause and Pre men stral syndrome! Gotta love it!

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

Just A Mom (Call me JAM for short) said...

I've got two...

Hubby and oldest daughter. They drive me nuts!

Joanna Jenkins said...

That is priceless. Maybe Boo and my husband are long lost twins!

xo

Syrone said...

Yep...my hubby is the king of chronic ailments. If I had a dime for every time he claimed to be 'sicker than a dog' I would be rich. I had to laugh when your Boo commented that women are used to menstrual pains. I don't know if we'll ever be used to it, but we try to tough it out that's for sure!

Redbonegirl97 said...

LOL, STAGE 4.

Peace, Love and Chocolate
Tiffany

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