I had dreamed of spending the rest of my life with Boo. I thought he was the "one" when in fact, it was the other side of truth. What I divulged in many of my posts about Boo and I, was anticipation, excitement and love. What I didn't talk about was anger and addiction.
I was raised with parents that never drank alcohol or even cursed. When I had my first drink of alcohol, I was 21 years old, legal age to drink. I have never made bad choices involving alcohol because thankfully, I knew the power of over indulgence.
Boo and my relationship was based on lies and one of those lies was being sober. What started out as innocent would turn into heated discussions, verbal antagonism and later, promises of never again and apologies. I wanted to believe those promises that this was "the last time" but unfortunately, there were too many "last times" to count.
What I didn't want to accept was my fear and uncertainty, yet it was always looming close by. I began seeking God's direction for my life. Somehow, I knew that letting go was a part of His plan so I braced myself for the pain that would come from it. Baby Boo knew me as her Momo and we were inseparable when she was with us, from the time she was 3 1/2 months old. I didn't know how or when the letting go would happen. In my wildest dreams, I never imagined being in another state, finding myself and peace and contentment and most of all, safety, but then, Oregon happened.
Single Boo and I visited Oregon not because we had family here, although we did have a cousin that I had only seen when she was a little girl. We visited because there was a tugging at both of our hearts for something unusual yet, home. We packed our bags two weeks after visiting and made the gutsy move to this place that we now call home.
The last time I said goodbye to Boo, we both knew it wasn't a "see you soon" goodbye....it was for good. The last time I said goodbye to Baby Boo, I held in my heart that I would one day see her again and if not, she would remember her Momo as being the one who gave her a bowl of bubbles to play with, sang silly songs to her, took her to the library and the park and cooked and made fun together.
There is such a peace that I did the right thing. No one should make a choice to be in a place where they feel unsafe or uncertain or fearful. We all deserve a place that we can find love and contentment.
Not only have I found that here but in 7 days, Married Boo and Son In-Boo are moving here to Oregon, 10 minutes away. It brings tears of joy to know that He has brought me through once again.