Monday, May 16, 2011

We all have to go sometime

My twin sis and I have had many close "brushes with death". At least, to us, they were "close brushes". One day, we were in our room, practicing for our "stage debut aka becoming famous singers. I picked up the closest thing to a drum stick and began to bang. What was it that I picked up???? A thermometer. I banged and we sang. Suddenly, I noticed silver balls resembling bb's on the floor. I bent down to pick one up and it split into 4 more smaller balls. Wow! I called my sis over to see the "magical bb's" on the floor, not realizing that those "bb's" were actually mercury from the thermometer. We touched and watched them split, wanting to see how many smaller balls they'd produce. One of us brainiacs then decided to figure out what those magic balls were and where they came from. Left sitting on the chord organ was the broken thermometer. Oh man! The atmosphere changed. How many times had our mom told us about people dying of mercury poisoning? Countless times. Suddenly, our lives began to flash before our eyes. Before really planning out the end of our lives, I went in to verify our imminent deaths.

"Mommy, could you die if you touched mercury from a thermometer?" I asked.

"Mercury is highly poisonous so yes, you could die, she replied.

I walked back into the room we shared, tears in my eyes. I didn't even have to say it. We were going to die. I ran and got the broom and it took almost an hour to get those balls up because every time the bristles of the broom touched the mercury, it split again and again. Then, we sat with our pens and paper and began to write our wills. The sad thing was that my sister and I had always agreed that we would will each other everything we owned so who gets what if we both died at the same time? We solved that by deciding that if I went first, she'd get my treasures and then, it would be up to her to decide who would get both of our things. Problem solved, we sat there, checking for signs that we were turning blue or having problems breathing. Quietly, we waited. Our mom called us in for dinner and we ate, quietly. Later, we went to bed, still waiting and then when we woke up the next morning, we both decided that God had healed us and that somehow, it just wasn't our time to die.

Another time, when my twin sis and I lost our beloved sea turtle, we had a tearful memorial service and then buried him. A day later, we just couldn't wait. We wanted to see if he was in heaven. We dug and dug until, what we saw his turtle corpse. We buried it back, thinking that maybe, just maybe, he needed a few days to get to where he was going.

I wish I had that same childlike innocence when it comes to death. How simple it would be to will your loved one your stuff and say goodbye and wait or bury it in the ground, dig it back up, then wait? But that's not the way life is. After losing Sam, my shih tzu, I discovered that I don't handle death very well at all. I can't face seeing the shell of what once held life. I can't imagine having to say goodbye, even if it's for a little while.

One thing I've learned when addressing someone who's had a loss is that "sorry" is a wonderful thing to say but it doesn't bring your loved one back.

"He's no longer in pain." True but it doesn't take away missing him.

Or, "You can always get another one." I could but he/she will never replace the one that stole my heart.

So, due to the way I feel about death, I've decided (yes my girls already are aware of this too) that I want to be stuffed. I want one hand formed into a wave so that I'll always be able to say, "hello". Both girls can "share" me. I can spend 6 months with one and then 6 months with the other. I'd be the life of every party and they could ride the diamond lane without a second thought. I'd also tape some of my favorite says and songs so that when they get to missing me some, they can just push a button and I'll sing, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine..."

Maybe, just maybe, death won't be so tough.

20 comments:

Annesphamily said...

I keep wanting to stop by and life happens. Finally, here I am! You write such interesting things. I am happy to be here today. How is your weather? we are getting so much rain and cold windy days! It does not feel like Spring! I am always amazed that you are a twin! Two of you! More fun!I am contemplating what you said here today! Great writing stuff! Hugs Anne

Mari said...

You are so funny!
When I was a kid our Etch a Sketch broke. They used to have mercury in them and we played with ours the same way you did. It was such fun to play with, but then we found out it was dangerous.
I'm glad you are still around! :-)

Sweet Tea said...

What a sweet story, you crazy girl, you! LOL!! Stuffed, huh?! . . .You know the song, "Prop me up against the Jukebox when I die" - that says it for me. Just think, someone could snap my photo by the Jukebox and then blog about it!!!!

Brian Miller said...

i wont lie...thats a little creepy but totally hillarious about being stuffed...

Formerly known as Frau said...

Oh my I hate to laugh at death but the thought of you stuffed cracked me up!! I haven't experienced a lot of death in my life thank goodness it's uncharted waters and not something that is comfortable to talk about. I hope your memories of Sam live on and heal your heart.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Stuffed! That will be different.
The older I get the harder death becomes to me. I'm not afraid of dying but people around me, like parents/aunts, start to die off and it's eating away at my heart.
It's beginning to get too hard for me.

Jill said...

This post brought tears to my eyes and a smile to my heart at the same time. Losing my brother in law has been so hard for us. It seems everyone expects life to go on, but for those of us grieving...it's not that easy and there are just no words to help heal. Thank you for this post...it truly touched my heart.

Jill

Buckeroomama said...

Oh, Simone, you make me smile. You always do. I love your sense of humor. :)

Lin said...

Aw, heck. Who didn't play with mercury when they were a kid? Or sniff gasoline made with lead? Or drank water out of the hose? Criminy, I should have been dead YEARS ago!!!

dana said...

There is all this ENERGY coming from even the tiniest of creatures. And in an instant, it is as if the energy never existed! GONE! When my brother died, I got a bit pissed off after some time had passed and he wasn't coming back. The same thing with Lucky. "Hey, enough's enough. It's time you came back!"

True heaven would be the second chance - not that the first chance wasn't done right with my lil' dog...but a second chance to feel the JOY of the reunion!!!

Forever is unfathomable.

Your post gave me no giggles or chills, for I understand the depth of the hollowness.

Ⓙ @ $ € € ₦$ ₣®0₥... said...

Nothing eases the death of any loved one for a survivor but time. You don't get over it. It becomes part of you and you learn, slowly, to move forward. Human or animal - a loss is a loss.

That being said, your post was hilarious!!!! Isn't it funny how literal children are??!! Precious tales, Simone!

Nezzy said...

It's a wonder that any of us are still here. Farm Boy and I both played with mercury outta broken thermometers. We ate fried chicken that sat on the cabinet all day and swam in green stock tanks. We'd die today if we pulled such things.

Loved the story of your innocence and had to laugh at the wills!

God bless and have a marvelous day! :o)

Joanna Jenkins said...

Stuffed!?!?!? Hysterical, CCD. I'm laughing out loud.

And the mercury story-- Priceless, writing you Wills together.

Hope you're feeling better, xo jj

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

What a great story....you always inspire me...to write better posts...
You always bring a smile to me

Many blessings,
Teresa

Danica said...

Sending love and hugs from Ohio. Death is so terrible no matter who it is. I think the older I get the harder it becomes.

Life with Kaishon said...

This post was so good. I love your memories. Sweetest story ever. I am truly sorry for your loss Simone. Truly sorry.

Donna B said...

I think we "baby boomers" had much more brushes with a possible serious energy or death...because we were always OUTSIDE or getting into something for an adventure. I too played with Mercury... I also visited HOBO camps, taking them food, put coins on the railroad tracks and then stood as close as possible as the train whizzed past, flattening our pennies. I built rafts and put them into fast currents, not knowing how to swim or where the river lead. I picked any berry that looked tasty and rinsed it in the gutter water. We sneaked into deserted houses at night, searching with flash lights to find the ghosts to prove the houses were haunted. We'd climb up on the roof because the song by the Drifters made it seem so cool...and it was! I think we had the BEST childhood...

Simone, let's hope, by the time you die, you will be so old, your children and grands will be grown and you will have come to terms with death and it will be a relief.

Blessings and long life my friend...

Veronica Lee said...

Oh Simone! This is such a sweet story! I haven't been afraid of dying yet but I die a little each time a loved one passed on.

Happy Monday, sweet lady!

Veronica Lee said...

The boys wanna thank you for visiting their fan page for Nugget!! Thanks a million, Simone!! You're the sweetest!

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Stuffed! That's hysterical. Not too different from a wax museum, though. Cute post!

 

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