Love in Chocolate and Vanilla
I love chocolate ice cream (that’s obvious) but I also love vanilla ice cream BUT only if vanilla is eaten on top of something or mixed with something like nuts, caramel, or apple pie or on a fudge sundae.
Funny how in my love life, I chose vanilla over chocolate. Why?? My vanilla had so many things mixed inside of him that made him scrumptiously wonderful.
In a world where racism is out of control, it’s hard to turn away from the questions I’m often asked. Lately, the question I’ve heard the most as I’ve announced our marriage is, “Is he Black or White? First, notice that the question isn’t, “Is he purple or green?”
“He’s white.” (But that’s the outer layer and not the insides and the mixed in goodness.) Besides…..So???? J knows he’s white and so do I but what matter is how we love and respect one another.
Here are a few misconceptions that are often tossed out in the open or even whispered.
1) Mixed race couples make beautiful babies. More the reason to have a child. WRONG. Babies are beautiful, no matter what color they are…PERIOD.
2) White men are pushovers. Black women are brassy and are controlling so they make the perfect blend. WRONG. Black women have strong opinions about life in general but it really depends on the personality of the Black woman. I value J’s opinion and hearing the wisdom he shares. We communicate together, not holding back our feelings or emotions. We do our best to understand one another AND J is no pushover.
3) Black men are better lovers than white men. Wrong!!! Double Wrong!! Without giving up our bedroom secrets, J is my sexual GPS He knows where, how much, when and how I like it.
4) White men just don't understand what makes a Black woman tick. J does! He knows when to keep the windows up so I
won't mess up my hair before I head into church. He understands the complexities of solving an issue with the threat of a Black woman cooking grits.
5) White people just don't know what it's like to be Black. Maybe not but my Vanilla understands the depth of passion I feel in being who I am. He knows that in a world where color can often be a factor in making choices, he chose me. Better yet...I didn't choose him and he didn't choose me...God chose us!
One thing I know for sure...when chocolate and vanilla melt together, it makes a pretty tasty blend!
Comments
I love how you're not afraid to jump right in the middle of somewhere most of us would never go. I'm so glad you are happy and filled with mojo! Vanilla? Chocolate? I'm more an orange sherbert kind of girl...This reminds me of when my 5 yr old granddoll whispered to me that there was something "wrong" with the people who had moved into the house across the street from her. She went on to tell me that the Mama and Daddy didn't "match" - the daddy was black and the Mama was "peach"...It was a great teachable moment. BTW, now they're all great neighbor friends. We could learn a lot from our kids.
I'm glad you have J and I agree that God brought you together!
And I am looking forward to seeing the new bundle of fluff "coming soon". Hugs to you! xo
When my daughter was little she came home from school one day and said, "I'm going to grow up to be the first black president?" I asked, "oh really?" She said, "We haven't had one yet." I said, "we haven't had a woman yet either, and there's a whole lot better chance of you fitting that description than the one you're aspiring to."
She's about as white as people come!
But the sweet thing was than in 1st grade, she didn't know any different. She just knew she wanted to be first at something that hadn't been done yet. Ha Ha
You & J rock!
Does anyone ask if he's fat or skinny? If he's bald or hairy? If he's tall or short? I bet not.
I'm glad you put this post out here. More people need to feel like you do!!
I know several interracial married couples, and they are no different from same race couples. We all seem to have the same joys, and suffer the same challenges.
So wise of you to help people to see what love is all about; that it can genuinely come in all mixtures of flavors. And, that we should all get beyond stereotyping.
Perhaps you'll post again in the future about some of the specific events that occur in your life based on your chocolate/vanilla marriage - good, bad, or indifferent. It would help with misconceptions that may people have.
Toodles :)
I'm stealing that one! ;)
I do think that because they live in Lansing, Mi., home of Michigan State University, there is such a diversity anyway. Their apartment building also has couples of India, Pakistan, A gay girl couple on one side of them and and an Asian guy and caucasion girl couple on the other. They are all the colors of jelly beans making their world a sweat place to live.