1) I have foot in mouth disease. I often say things that come out way different than intended. Case in point, I was at the grocery store the other day, searching for the nuts. There was a grocery clerk stocking shelves and he asked, "Can I help you?" My reply??? "Can you show me your nuts?" Seriously! That is what came out of my mouth. Poor guy. He stood up, red in the face and stuttered, "I think, umm, I think, oh, they're over there." Ten seconds later, it sunk it. I had asked him to show me his nuts!
2) Curling irons should only be operated with a hazmat suit. While curling my hair, (wand right next to face) the curling iron exploded. I saw a huge flame and electrical current right before my eyes. I'm surprised I didn't wet my pants. But, thankfully, the only thing that it did was blow out the circuit.
3) The greatest Christmas surprise was knowing that my twin sister will be coming out in February, thanks to her daughter giving her the gift of an airplane ticket.
4) Next year, Santa J will NOT be spending 33 dollars plus on candy for the stockings. Almost two weeks of sugar rush kids...not cool!
5) I love, love, love that J bought me the collector's edition of the Little Rascals. There's nothing like some Rascals to make me smile.
6) Marcus Camby of the Portland Trailblazers is germphobic. How can a pro basketball player be afraid of germs when sweaty hands are all over the ball??
7) My next invention will be oil for shoes to prevent fart sounds from happening with every footstep.
8) I look forward to the first of the year when burn out from sweets and junk food has me running for good and healthy food.
9) My daughters may be all grown up but they are still my kids.
10) I really mean it when I wish someone a happy new year.
What have you learned?