"No one has ever loved me the way that you love me. With you by my side, my whole world is complete."
I listened as J spoke those words to me, tears filling my eyes. I understood what he was saying because I FELT it too.
The last few months have been hard to put into words. Yet, he's been by my side, every step of the way. With every test and doctor's appointment, he's been there to hold my hand and whisper words of reassurance.
Although I feel his love, I feel a sense of guilt to be so very blessed. You see, two weeks ago, two people close to us, lost their spouses. The thought that resonated in my head as I wrapped my mind around their loss was that here I am feeling, "lost" while they are living it out loud. My "lost" is temporary, yet their "loss" is so much more.
As articulate as I can often be, I couldn't find the right words to bring them comfort. So, I decided to focus on their lives while they lived and not their death. I wanted to know more about their passions and courage, how they met challenges in their lives, their gifts and things that brought them joy. As I listened to some of the memories retold, I was reminded how important it is to cherish every moment, big or small.
Today, I began to make a list of things I cherish:
1) My puppy Mooshu and his love for his hotwheel car.
2) Hearing my stepson say that he's glad that I'm here and that I'm like a mother figure to him.
3) Listening to J and J Jr. downstairs, yellling at the tv, while watching the Blazers basketball game.
4) Having my father in law and sister in law over for St. Patty's day and rejoicing when my father in law called me Simone instead of Ramone. (Whew! I thought he'd never get my name right.)
5) Walking hand in hand with J while the snowflakes tickled my nose.
6) Listening to the song, Amazing Grace, just when I needed that reminder.
7) Getting a text message from my daughter Jarebear that read, "I miss you. I wish you lived closer. Let's spend a day together really soon."
8) Watching my son in law, fall madly in love with my daughter, Ev'Yan every time she cooks something that he loves. (His whole face lights up.)
9) Having J wake me up in the morning before he leaves for work saying, "You is smart, you is beautiful and you is my wife. I love you. Have a great day!"
10) Reading blog comments from all of you that reminds me of just how much you all truly care.
My challenge to all of you is to take some time out this week and start a Cherish list. It can be in pictures or just in words but focus on the big and little things. What is one thing you cherish today?
25 minutes ago