Friday, August 17, 2012

From Me to You

I feel like I'm running the last leg of a marathon. Funny thing is, I am not a runner. In fact, I hate running but with all of you cheering me on and encouraging me, I feel like there isn't anything I can't do.

You all have prayed for me. You have sent cards. You have reached out to me, across the miles through Facebook and emails. Your comments have been a tremendous help in my healing. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I won't lie - there were times when I felt like giving up. Thankfully, J has been wonderful as I wet his shirts with my tears. One thing that rang out in my second trip out of three stays in the hospital, was that there is a purpose in this. At that moment, I was more vulnerable than I had ever been. I had to learn to ask for help to the bathroom. I had to let go of others seeing my body, scars and all. I had to learn to answer questions like, "Are you passing gas? Have you had a bowel movement?" Questions that I learned to answer even with my family in the same room. I had to admit that I was nauseous and dealing with dry heaves. I had to walk the halls of the hospital to show proof that I was tough enough to get up out of the bed and to fight to get better. I have had to drink my food for over a month where just now, I'm eating soft, mushy foods. I will never take anything for granted again.

I met so many angels in the hospital, one of them, Cynthia, I will never forget. She left an imprint on my heart. She gave and nurtured the wounded, embarrassed part of me to smile again. Even now, I am reminding myself daily of her words, "Graze. Don't feel like you need to eat. Just graze." Also, "sip, sip, sip." Those words reminded min a huge, profound way, to take each day, one little step at a time. Cynthia inspired me - no, she reminded me that I started a journey that I never finished....getting my nursing degree...becoming an RN. Nine years ago, I started to reach for that goal and then quit when my marriage ended and life became out of my control. Thank you, Cynthia for reminding me that it's never too late to start over again.

I would love to be able to hear your voices and to thank you all, personally, face to face. That isn't possible (unless you live here in Salem, Oregon). If you would like, and it may take me awhile, please email me your phone number so I can have the joy of hearing your voice and thanking you, from me to you.

After all, that's the beauty of this thing we call the worldwide web. Connecting friendships and hearts.


Mari said...

It's so good to see a post from you again. I've missed you and I'm glad you're making progress even though it's slow.
I like Cynthia's advice on sipping and grazing. It can be applied to many things in life.
I have a feeling that you were as much a blessing to her, as she was to you!

Nezzy (Cow Patty Surprise) said...

I'm still MIA but when I saw ya in my sidebar I just had to pop over and wish you well my dear.

I read backwards to catch up here and sure hated that you ended up with some stinkin' complications but was so very glad for you that your sis is there for you. Dang what a gal won't do to get some girly time with their sis!

Take care my friend, feel my prayers and let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do.

God bless :o)

Brian Miller said...

woot...i am glad you came through it...and even got inspired along the way....hope all continues well you know...smiles.

Chatty Crone said...

I have been missing with internet issues - I am so sorry. I hope you will be getting better every day.

Love, sandie

Lin said...

Ah, there you are--back to posting! You are a fighter, pally, and one that will continue to get better with each day.

I'm sending you love, hugs, and positive spirits to keep you fighting!

Veronica Lee said...

I missed you, Simone! Blogging isn't the same without you!

Sending you lots of hugs and prayers....

Connie said...

So glad you are getting stronger each day. Keep looking up!

Liz said...

I'm so glad to hear that your are making progress.

Healing can take a long time but good comes from understanding that you are human and need to take time for yourself!

Keep getting better and keep up your super positive attitude. Even while struggling you have been so positive.

Take good care of yourself and if you are thinking of finishing that RN degree, go for it!!

BerryMorins Bits & Tips said...

Thanks for checking in. As you can see you were truly missed!

Anonymous said...
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Debby@Just Breathe said...

I am happy to hear that you are doing better. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. ((HUGS))

Mandy said...

I am so glad you are doing better! I had no idea you were going through all this, I'm so sorry! (But I know you know I've been preoccupied with a newborn and full-time job). I'm so glad you're surrounded by so many wonderful, loving people who are taking care of you. I know it's not easy to ask for help, especially when you're usually the caregiver. And I totally hear ya on the passing gas, BM and other questions! It's crazy but then it somehow becomes the normal! Keep up your strength and keep feeling better! - Mandy

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

Oh Simone, I just love the idea of sip, sip, sip and taking small steps forward. So very, very happy that you are healing!

Joanna Jenkins said...

Hi Simone, I've been back in Ohio with family but you have been in my prayers.

I hope by the time you read this you are feeling significantly better and stronger every day. My heart goes out to you and you know I'm sending all my angels your way.

Hang in there-- easy for me to say, but hang in there. You can do this and get it past you.

xoxoxo jj

Anita said...

Simone, when I think back to three or more years ago when I "met" you, and all the time since, I think of your journey - the ups and downs. You are definitely not a boring person! But how about a little less drama from now on. :) Seriously, I know you would have elimated a few things from your life if possible; however, as you said, it's not too late to... (fill in the blank) :)

Thank you for caring about us as much as we care about you.


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