I was talking to some of my girl friends from high school the other day and I discovered we shared something in common.....being in limbo. A few of us shared that as we get older, we want to know that we accomplished something BIG. Then, others shared that they don't know what they want to be when they grow up. Me? I'm struggling with getting older. I feel so much older, especially when talking to kids. I tend to get more "deer in headlights" looks when I talk now...sorta like I'm speaking a totally different language.
I am stuck between accepting what is and wanting life to be simple and non-complicated. In fact, I almost wish I could have "boring", just for a little while. I feel drained from the chaos and constant motion in my life. I want more, but then again, I want less. Less noise and mess and more happiness and laughter.
When J and I got married, I left what was "normal" to me and into a place where I am still adjusting. (Sometimes, I walk into the house and I wonder if I have accidentally walked into someone else's house instead of my own.)
I want to take the world by surprise but then again, I want to just be invisible and feel the joy of watching others as they go about their daily lives.
One of my friends summed it up well when she said, "We're in limbo because we're middle aged." Honestly, that thought almost made me barf. She is right....I am almost *gasp* fifty and I'm still wanting to ride my bike with training wheels. I want someone to care for me instead of having the responsibilities of caring for others. I want to go to sleep and think about how Popeye's muscles grow from eating spinach instead of wondering whether we'll have enough money at the end of the month to pay all of the bills. I want to dream of exotic places to travel instead of having the grocery store be the "adventure" of the weekend.
Have you experienced life in limbo? If so, how have you conquered it? Please share!