Monday, September 10, 2012

In Limbo

I was talking to some of my girl friends from high school the other day and I discovered we shared something in common.....being in limbo. A few of us shared that as we get older, we want to know that we accomplished something BIG. Then, others shared that they don't know what they want to be when they grow up. Me? I'm struggling with getting older. I feel so much older, especially when talking to kids. I tend to get more "deer in headlights" looks when I talk now...sorta like I'm speaking a totally different language.

I am stuck between accepting what is and wanting life to be simple and non-complicated. In fact, I almost wish I could have "boring",  just for a little while. I feel drained from the chaos and constant motion in my life. I want more, but then again, I want less. Less noise and mess and more happiness and laughter.

When J and I got married, I left what was "normal" to me and into a place where I am still adjusting. (Sometimes, I walk into the house and I wonder if I have accidentally walked into someone else's house instead of my own.)

I want to take the world by surprise but then again, I want to just be invisible and feel the joy of watching others as they go about their daily lives.

One of my friends summed it up well when she said, "We're in limbo because we're middle aged." Honestly, that thought almost made me barf. She is right....I am almost *gasp* fifty and I'm still wanting to ride my bike with training wheels. I want someone to care for me instead of having the responsibilities of caring for others. I want to go to sleep and think about how Popeye's muscles grow from eating spinach instead of wondering whether we'll have enough money at the end of the month to pay all of the bills. I want to dream of exotic places to travel instead of having the grocery store be the "adventure" of the weekend.

Have you experienced life in limbo? If so, how have you conquered it? Please share!

11 comments:

Creative Sisters said...

When I thought of your limbo question, my first thought was of the dance. You know, the one under the bar? The one where if you are not flexible and limber enough you aren't able to get to the other side without falling on your bottom?!

Approaching the over 50 mark in a few days I am coming to accept that maybe I am no longer a limbo dancing contender (was I ever really?) but instead the bar-holder or maybe the one in charge of the music. Maybe I just provide the invite and the place to enjoy life. That doesn't mean I don't get to party too, it just means my role has changed, and although I am no longer that agile youngster, I am also not so naive as to think life will never change or that I do not have a say in that change!

"I hope you dance...."

Brian Miller said...

i feel you on some level or i at least know the tension---of wondering about my life here in the middle....

Formerly known as Frau said...

I hear you and I'm just trying to embrace it and enjoy each stage of life! Change is always around the corner. I never thought four years ago this would be my life so who knows whats next! Don't run away run towards!

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

I waffle back and forth on that. Right now I'm in a place of contentment, but next week I could be in worry and stress mode. I just never know!

Adam said...

I'm about 25 years away from Limbo, but my mom is currently going through it.

Ev`Yan Whitney said...

This post made me sad.

MissKris said...

As one of the few grandmas who takes her grandchildren to school and preschool I get the 'deer in the headlight' looks almost everyday, especially considering I'm probably, on average, at least 30-35 years older than most of the parents. It's a little disconcerting, but as I watch them struggle with their little ones who seem SO little...and then I regard my two grandsons, who seem waaaaaay more grown up in comparison...I know I've given my grandkids something these parents aren't able to give their kids...maturity, patience, the 'we'll go with the flow and not fret about the little stuff' attitude towards Life, and the wisdom of Life Lessons already learned. The only time I feel encumbered in aging is when I realize the physical things I'm no longer able to do...ie, running for miles, skipping, getting up off the floor as easily as I did when I was younger. I wouldn't trade and go back even 30 years for anything. I truly try to embrace life, always have. I KNOW I'm not immortal. I'd rather look as I do instead of frantically racing the clock, trying to hold on to my looks and fearing the changes in my body. Life is too short no matter which way you look at it, and I won't allow myself to waste time fretting away what I have left of it.

Connie said...

I'm at 74 yrs. young and 7 siblings older than me. I see how my life is changing (as far as my health goes) and then i see the changes in my siblings and I realize we are all living in the even-tide of life. I have tried to pass on good lessons to my children and grandchildren; some have followed and some are not. That grieves me - but I know that God is not through with them yet. We are always learning, leaning, and changing. Some days it is overwhelming and then something wonderful will take place and make it all worthwhile. I try to stay upbeat about life with only an occasional pitty-party. God is Good.

Vegas Linda Lou said...

I'm kind of in limbo right now! I'm between jobs and am trying to get through a bout with Bell's Palsy, a temporary condition that will go away in its own time. I know that soon I'll be working again, and even sooner I'll be able to use the left side of my face again. But right now, it's limbo time!

Limbo is when your faith comes in. You know it won't be like this forever, and you have to believe it will be better on the other side!

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I am in Limbo and it's not easy. I know I am older than you are and it's not fun getting old. I don't want my life to be over, I want it to start all over again now!

Anita said...

Cliche, but - it's not the destination, it's the journey. Live life to the fullest. Don't sweat the small stuff. You've heard all of this, right? :)

May I suggest that you alter your routine a bit every day. Be unpredictable. Stop for a cone of ice cream before you go home. Sit for 5 minutes and eat it... alone. When you get questioned about it from whomever, say, "Because I wanted to," and smile. :)

 

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