Being a kid, the one thing that I worried the most about is when I was "big enough". I never knew what the "enough" part meant though. Big enough to reach the water fountain? Big enough to color in the lines instead of out? Big enough to go down the hall to the bathroom in the middle of the night - all by myself? (That took way past the "big enough" stage since I was terribly afraid of the dark.) I remember the moment I realized I was big enough was when I chewed my gum and didn't swallow it.
As an adult, I have discovered trying to be "big enough" isn't all that it's cracked up to be. In fact, I quietly wish that all my fears and worries were pint sized again but they aren't.
I recently read the book, Anything by Jennie Allen, one of the Women of Faith speakers and thanks to Jennie, I have realized that I'm still not "big enough". You see, Jennie spoke of when her and her husband decided to live out their lives in total surrender to God. They got on their knees and told God that they were willing to do ANYTHING for him…anything. That's a "big enough" move for sure. God filled their lives with lots of ANYTHINGS for him. One of those ANYTHINGS was their son, Cooper that they adopted from Rwanda, when God showed them the empty bed they had waiting to be filled.
Since reading the book, I was inspired but afraid. Of what, you might ask??? Afraid of what my ANYTHINGS would look like. What happens if my ANYTHING is scary? Or seems like it's out of my reach? What if I don't feel "big enough" to face the ANYTHINGS that God has for me? What happens if my ANYTHING is for J and I to build an ark? Could I? Would I?
When I was a kid, I used to love walking around in my mom's high heels. My legs would go in one direction while my body went in another. I just wasn't "big enough" to wear her shoes. No matter how hard I tried, I wasn't quite ready to do the ANYTHINGS she did. I was still learning to walk carefully and not fall flat on my face.
That's the way it is with our ANYTHINGS. They are made JUST FOR US. My ANYTHING may be too huge for me and just right for you but when God says, "Here, this is yours," it is up to me to "own" that ANYTHING as mine.
Being big enough for ANYTHING also means surrender to what I want to do and be willing to let go of all expectations, dreams and goals that I have while he molds and shapes what He has for me.
It won't be easy to be in a place of surrender. I have seen firsthand that ANYTHINGS could mean heartache in letting go of a dream. But I have also experienced utter and complete joy in discovering that letting go of one dream makes room for more.
Are you with me? Are you "big enough" to handle the ANYTHINGS He has for you? What would be an ANYTHING that you'd love to see God place in your hands?