Friday, February 1, 2013
When Life Doesn't Happen as We Planned
Lately, I've been thinking about my life and how it just hasn't happened the way I planned. When I was little, I had dreams of things that were outlandish now but so very real then. I didn't marry David Cassidy like I thought or Foster Sylvers. I didn't open a house for orphaned kids, old people and pets (although there is still time for that ;) My sis and I didn't take our love of singing on the road and become the next Christian recording artists. I didn't marry a rich man, although my J has millions of ways that he showers me with his love that makes it much better than marrying a "rich" man.
I also didn't "plan" on having experienced divorce, moving out of California, missing my twin sister, having grey hair, liking the Ducks and the Blazers instead of the Lakers and the Bruins, dying and being brought back to a place where I am finding purpose....I could go on and on but you get where I'm going, right?
I have had a problem lately of accepting things as they are and not as I had planned. I can't tell you how many times I have whispered to myself, "Its just not fair!" But, I got a wake up call when I realized that life is what happens when I stop planning and let God orchestrate it. I can turn the things that I have found to be unexpected into places of purpose.
The other day, I got lost - AGAIN! Here in Salem, Oregon, it's not difficult to do. There are one way streets and places you can't turn and even round abouts in some places. I got stuck in the wrong lane traveling on a one way street and not being able to find my way home. I went around in circles not once, not twice but three times before I found the right lane I was supposed to be in. I came home and told J, "I got lost going home." He said what has now become his signature response (think Ricky Ricardo saying, "Luuuuucyyyy!") "Baaaaaaabbbe! You got lost AGAIN????"
Then, came my response that made it all okay. "Yep, I got lost but I discovered a few things along the way that I didn't know were there. Plus, maybe I dodged an accident waiting to happen while being "lost". That's exactly how it is when the unplanned life happens. I notice things that I never would've noticed before. I discover a hidden talent that I didn't realize existed. I develop patience that I never would've had had I not become a stepmom. I enjoy being able to minister and speak more than I have ever before. In fact, I get so exhilarated at the thought of being able to speak before large audiences. When I was in elementary school, the thought made me want to run and hide in the girls bathroom. I have friends who really "get me" and not look at me with the deer in headlights look. I laugh more at embarrassing moments, than cry. (Not long ago, while wearing a skirt, my slip unexpectedly slid down to my ankles while I was walking...I casually (well, slightly casually) went into another room, pulled it up and laughed!!!! I miss seeing my daughters but cherish the times that we share when we are together. I love the church family that I am a part of. They bring out the best in me, even when I'm feeling my worst. Then, there's this thing called the blogospere where I have found friendships and laughter in far away places that I never would've known possible.
I am embracing life as it happens now and trying hard not to fall into "planning" mode. What about you? Are you planning or are you coasting through life and letting life happen? I want to hear how your life has changed from the planned to the unplanned. Please share.