Tuesday, June 25, 2013

It's All A Matter of Perspectives

It's all a matter of perspective…that is the thought ringing in my head today. I struggle to fight against things going on in my life. The sad fact is that what I'm fighting against is more than likely what was meant in my life all along.

In almost two years of our marriage, I have held on to a longing to make things "the way they used to be". It's taken me this long to realize that "the way things used to be" is basically the past. And truly I'm not for  living in the past but in the present. For one, I was much younger, a little less bold, fearful and seeking out perfection most of the time. Now, I'm willing to try new things, i.e, adventures, food and a neverending thirst to be myself.

I have learned to look at my ongoing medical saga as a way to breathe through the pain and keep on pushing and if pushing doesn't work, sit and chill for a bit. I no longer think that I'm going to die. The way I see it, is if it was my time to go, then when I flat-lined last year, I wouldn't have come back to life. So, I dance in the rain, laugh loudly, hug, hug and really hug those that mean a lot to me. 

There's no mystery that I miss my daughters but once a month, we get together for an overnight visit…with one of them hosting me. I look forward to spending time sharing, shopping, chatting, eating and just hanging out. 

Although I have been inconsistent with writing, I have been given the opportunities to speak which excites me to no end. It is my dream/goal to be able to write and be a speaker, full-time. So, instead of me getting frustrated at my lack of writing, I'm reignited by the ability to speak and share with others.

As I write this, there's another transition happening in my life. J and I will have two adult kids (not necessarily kids) and a teenager living with us, full-time. It has been a huge stress for me. The first thing that came out of my mouth to J was, "I didn't sign up for this!" But, I realized first of all, he didn't sign up for all of the times he's been by my side through the chest pains and tears and other health related issues. I am beginning to breathe through the idea of it all and concentrating on our house being a place where they will eventually all spread their wings and fly. In the meantime, I'm going to do my best to enjoy the comfort of being surrounded by family. (And also pray that they won't harm one another while having to share one bathroom.)

And lastly…I'm getting ready to turn 50 in July. As much as most people may not embrace the idea of getting older, I'm excited about the adventures still to come. My bucket list is growing and I can't wait to experience life in a different set of numbers.

What perspectives have you discovered along the way?

12 comments:

Chatty Crone said...

So how did all the change come about? Hope you all will work it out - I know you will. Sandie

Mari said...

Hi Simone! It's good to see you here again.
I appreciate the fact that through all the difficulties that have come into your life, you have been able to put it into perspective and continue on. Your life is a testimony and I know you are blessing people in your speaking opportunities.

Anita said...

Simone, I think you know that I wish you peace and happiness based on my thoughts to you over the years. You've had your share of challenges. To be honest, I wish all the adult children in your new family had places of their own and that you and J can work towards empty nest status. That will be the time when nothing will stop you from doing all the things on your bucket list and being the creative person you are. However, it is what it is, and you will do the best under the circumstances, won't you. Stay as positive as you are. :)

Brian Miller said...

glad you are going to let go of the way things used to be...that can get pretty frustrating (IMHO)...wow you do have a lot going on...you never know what life will throw at you but if you face it together you will be good...smiles.

Terra said...

Hi Simone, it sounds like you are accepting changes and finding the good aspects in them, which will give you a sense of peace and even joy. Looking forward to your next posts to hear about your new housemates and all the changes.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Simone! Great to see you back in blogland. It's good to hear from you.

Sounds like you have your head on straight (as my mother used to say) with all the changes going on in your life.

Having lived with 2 adult children for 9 months recently, I can sympathize with you on your concerns. The one thing that helped us the most was not having dinner together every night-- and especially not coking it myself... As in "I don't work here", if you know what I mean. My husband and I needed time to ourselves and all that togetherness was a little too much to take.

I hope you are sorting out your health issues and finding some solutions.

And I am thrilled for you being able to do speaking engagements. I have no doubt you are fabulous at it and make a meaningful contribution to your audience. I hope there are many more opportunities for you in your future.

Perspective is a good thing, Simone. Keep up the good work.

xoxo jj

Jill said...

Life sometimes has a way of slowing us down and putting things in perspective. Remember God won't give us more than we can handle :-) And marriage one of the most important things to remember is to not take each other for granted and to cherish them and remember why you fell in love :-) Glad you are feeling better and I hope everything works itself out for you.

Blessings,
Jill

Linda Myers said...

I always took my good health for granted, even though I'm somewhat of a hypochondriac. I hurt my back two years ago and I have finally accepted that, while I am not going to die from it, I am probably never going to heal up, either. It's time for me to put it out of my mind as best I can, and move along.

I wish I could go back to the way it used to be - but thing were not perfect then, either, so I guess I need to get over it.

Shelly said...

What you write is so true.We can't hang onto the past, so we have to enjoy the future. Congrats on your speaking gigs! I would love to hear you someday.

Blessings to you, my friend!

Veronica Lee said...

Sometimes changes can be blessings in disguise, Simone dear!

As long as our intentions are good, we will be rewarded in ways we least expect!

I know you will all work things out and I am praying for you, buddy!

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

It will definitely be an adjustment to add more people into the home, but it will fall into place in time. I'm glad that you've finally realized you are "alive" and that you're embracing that. :)

Dawna said...

Hi Simone
There is an Award for you on my Blog