Wednesday, July 10, 2013

There's an Elephant in the Room!

There's an elephant in the room. I don't know how it got there without being noticed or invited, but it did. It must've been small enough to enter through the front door but perhaps while no one was looking, he was eating off of plates left unattended, candy bowls left unguarded and and leftover cookies on a platter. He's grown so big, he can't leave the same way he entered.

I once had an elephant in the room that even a mouse couldn't send him running. That elephant was a person that I trusted as a friend. We were as close as two sisters yet, the elephant crept in. It started when she began to tell hurtful jokes. The elephant grew. Then she turned the conversations into opportunities to put me down, while lifting herself up. The elephant plumped up some more. I cringed my way through conversations with her and avoided confrontations with her. Finally, the elephant became destructive enough that I knew it had to leave. I let her know that something had changed in our friendship. I no longer felt that she valued it the same way that I did. I ended it with, "I hope you find the kind of friendship you want and deserve." The air cleared that day as the elephant left the room.

The problem with elephants in the room is that they are common. Some start out by holding back the honest truth in a relationship. "I really don't like the way he dresses." "I think he's cheating on me but maybe if I change, he will too."We have nothing in common but I refuse to hurt her feelings." So we go along with it, hoping that the elephant will shrink before our very eyes yet, it becomes an even bigger elephant in the room.

Elephants are everywhere! I have seen elephants in church, at weddings and funerals. I have seen them at family get togethers and the workplace and parties. Raising teens, there are plenty of elephants in the room. So much to say but not enough words to say it or maybe it's fear...plain ol fear that keeps that elephant alive.

I am determined to squash the elephant in the room by feeling the fear and doing it any way. Speaking what's on my mind and my heart. This may be the only time that I have to make that elephant disappear.

By the way, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

Is there an elephant in your room?

There

14 comments:

Sweet Tea said...

Not right now, but I have walked exactly where you described - in the midst of a toxic relationship with someone who had been a good friend at one time. I believe she is still a very good person. I try to be a good person, but put the two of us together and the elephant appears. I had to let the relationship/elephant go. It hurt, but it was necessary.

Mari said...

I don't think I have any elephants right now, but I've had them in the past and they happen just as you described. You're not aware and then suddenly - there they are!
How are you doing my friend?

Darcie (My Modern Country) said...

Very well said! I have several elephants I need to take care of. Honestly, I have never really looked at it this way...thanks so much for posting this! Also, thanks for stopping by my blog :)

Connie said...

I have had elephants in the room but wen I do I eat this kindness. Some elephants don't do well with kindness and they soon leave. Life is so short - I'm reminded of that every day. Take care.
Thanks for reading my blog......

Brian Miller said...

yep i see the elephant as well...wonder how many we got as they slip in the room nice and gentle and next thing you know they are there before we know it...

Shelly said...

Very well said, my friend. I needed to read this today.

Linda Myers said...

I needed to read it today too. There is an elephant and yesterday it trumpeted.

Chatty Crone said...

There are several elephants in my life. And it is hard to be with them. sandie

Jarani said...

Yep. I see a lot of elephants, and they're definitely not the pink kind. I don't know what's worse, the elephant itself or the fear surrounding what it might take to get rid of it!

Joanna Jenkins said...

No elephants at the moment for me. Phew. But I've had my share.

I think the older I get the less I engage with people that send a red flag in my direction. I just don't have the time or patience for it anymore.

Hang in there, Simone. Glad your elephant is gone.

xoxo jj

BerryMorins Bits & Tips said...

No elephants in the room, at this time.

Anita said...

I hope I don't have any growing elephants in my life; though there are always issues that I try to handle in various ways. Some with a knock out punch, others with various remedies that allow me to have a good day. Too bad I can't knock out those issues, too. Eventually. :)

I'm with Joanna in that age and hopefully, wisdom is helping.

By the way, your last post mentioned a milestone birthday in July. Happy Belated Birthday!!!
May God bless you with many, many more.

I hope it was a good day for you. If it wasn't, pick a day and have another. xoxo

Veronica Lee said...

Yep,I had my share but thank God,they're all gone now! Maybe it's wisdom that comes which age but these days I can spot an elephant right away and I try not to invite them into my life.

Glad yours has gone,Simone!

Alieux said...

I know I'm late, as I just saw this today for the first time, but perhaps God wanted me to see it today. Very well said.

Thanks for posting it!