I couldn't stop the sensation. It was a feeling out of my control. In fact, the inner voice was silent, all except this feeling. Then, everything went black.
I woke up to paramedics asking me questions that I couldn't find my voice to answer. My brain seemed to stop and where thoughts were stored, there weren't any at all. (That was horrible in itself...me...the thinker and talker.)
Humility hit as slowly, it all came back to me. I was at work and the people swarming around me were my co-workers. I closed my eyes to block out the view of concerned faces and to make sense of it all.
This was the second time I had been in the back of an ambulance and still had no ability to be nosy and check out the view. I just wanted to scream, "What is happening?" But, I couldn't find my voice.
I got to the ER and my thoughts were starting to surface again. It was a place that looked familiar to me....very familiar.
I don't know how blogging and writing has become shoved and pushed into the recesses and crevices of my life...but the sad truth is, it has. I am losing my voice. I want to regain all that I seem to have lost but I honestly don't know where to start.
Do I start from where I left off or do I write from the "new, improved" riddled with bumps and bruises "me"? If I write from honesty, you all will get the bumps and bruises "me". Is that fair?
But, this has been my life lately and to live it "real", then those are the things that will seep in from time to time.
For those of you that are still here, thanks for being so patient with me.
For those of you that have left, I don't blame you.
Oh! The story hasn't ended yet. I wait to see if I have a concussion from hitting the floor. I also wait to see a neurologist, hoping for some more answers.
Until then...I wait...and I'm here. I've missed you all!
Caged No More
4 hours ago