I love you just the way you are

My ex was a musician and singer and one of the songs that he performed was by Billy Joel, "I Love You Just Way You Are". I hated when he sang that song. Not because it wasn't a beautiful song but because when he sung it, he wasn't being truthful. He DIDN'T love me just the way I was. In fact, he hated that I was no longer a size 5 and weighed 103. He said that he was turned off by me and couldn't love me being that I wore a size 12. That was one of the many reasons why we divorced aside from his cheating.

Being the deep thinker that I am - I wonder why we can't love one another exactly the way we are? Why should Susan Boyle (the British lady with a VOICE) change according to media standards to be accepted into society? So, what happens if she continues to wear her hair the way she does and dresses the way she does and keeps the facial hair that she has....what if??? Will she still be appreciated for the voice she has or will she be criticized? I'm betting that eventually, she will be criticized. But, I hope she stands her ground. No one or nothing should change the way one feels comfortable in their skin.

There was a classmate I went to high school with that was such a fun loving, well liked, outgoing person. She was very easily adored by her compassion and warm laughter. She was overweight. Senior year, she went to Jenny Craig's and came back after the summer, extremely thin. But, with her weight loss came a personality change. She was inward, shy and unreachable. She didn't hang out with people but stuck to herself. I really don't think she knew how to be comfortable in her new skin.

Women are the worst when it comes to be critical. My daughters are beautiful...not just because I'm their mom but because they are and yet, they have people question their size asking if they are anorexic or if they eat. My ex's mom always maintained that the "pretty" black girls were those that had long hair. My oldest has an adorable, cute pixie cut that suits her better than her having long hair. Is Married Boo content in her skin? Only she can say for sure but she does wear her style with confidence, as does Teen Boo.

I'm not comfortable in my skin. It's not because I live in a town where everyone is known for being a size 3 and having reconstructive surgery to fix the things that they don't. It's because I know that I can feel much healthier than I feel and that only comes from working out.

Also, when I was 24 and pregnant with my first daughter, for some strange reason, my body started developing what is known as keloids. They appeared for no explained reason and in areas that were hard to conceal. Plastic surgery wasn't an option because they grew larger after going under the knife. (I went there and regretted it.) I became depressed because I had to kiss goodbye wearing bathing suits, low neckline shirts and even t-shirts because there is two large ones that are very visible on my neckline and on my chest. To conceal them, I've often worn my shirts backwards to keep them hidden. Yet, when it comes to doctor's visits...I cringe at the questions that I'm asked.

I will never forget one doctor's office where I was pulled into the center of the office for him to "show" all of his staff my body because they'd never seen it before. I went home and cried and cried. I felt like and still feel like an oddity.

What this taught me though is that I can't change that they exist. They will be there until the day I die but somehow, I can change the way I feel in my skin. It's up to me.

I hope that Susan Boyle will hold her head high and be willing to stay comfortable with who she is and not let the world's standards dictate otherwise. To me, beauty comes from the inside out and it's not just a cliche'. I know it for sure.