Before I get into this, I have to give a disclaimer...this is not stuff that I learned in one day's time. I'm not that much of a sponge....just pretend to be one! LOL
1) Vinegar spilled on the floor (ie, broken glass decanter, smells like dog barf.
2) Don't pull on a string hanging from my shirt. It may very well be the string that holds the whole shirt together. (Picture this..holding a ball of string that used to be a shirt...not good.)
3) An elderly doctor just taught me this...If you lose some thing and someone else finds it and doesn't return it, I guess it meant that they needed it more. (That explains why my ex husband is in the arms of a 21 year old.)
4) Broccoli and cauliflower are both "flowers" but cauliflower tastes like cow poop. Go figure.
5) He who laughs lasts, makes a fool out of themselves. It's better to end your laugh at the same time as everyone else. If not, you will be considered rude and discourteous.
6) Never take a two year old to a bbq where only adults are present....especially adults who use 3 and 4 letter words often.
7) I can blame my being overweight on my parents. They made me eat all of the food in my plate or else I couldn't get down from the table. I wonder if Jerry Springer needs any new guests on his show??
8) A ham sandwich left in my desk at work for a week doesn't smell spoiled or like salmonella at all.
9) Facebook is a place to remember the people that you I would rather forget.
10) The greatest love, friendship and support can be found on the internet.
20 minutes ago