Friday, June 12, 2009

Looking through the help wanted ads

I am the type of person that would rather be vigilant and start looking for a job even before I've been given my walking papers. Yes, I may be in for a surprise and not get laid off but then again, I'm thinking that I more than likely will. While browsing, I found the following job titles...

From this link

1. experienced bra fitter - I bet they had trouble finding candidates for this one.
2. PlayStation Brand Ambassador - please report to your residence in the United States of Nintendo.
3. Eyebrow Threading - I REALLY hope this has something to do with dolls.
4. Administraive/ Secretary - ok, ok, we get it. It’s clear where you need help.
5. Finish Carpenter - for when the Start Carpenter gets tired.
6. Helpdesk Technician @ Pentagon - “Uh, hello? I’m having a problem with this missile…”
7. Nail Tech - so nails can be pretty complicated…
8. Remedy Engineer - aren’t those called “doctors”?
9. Saltlick Cashier - new trend in the equestrian industry. Ok, enough horsing around.
10. Molecular Biologist II - when Molecular Biologist I gets promoted.
11. Breakfast Sandwich Maker - we also got one of these recently.
12. Hotel Housekeepers - why can’t they just say ‘hotelkeepers’?
13. Preschool Teacher #4065 - either that’s a really big school or they’ve got robot teachers.
14. glacéau drop team - for a new sport at the Winter Olympics: ice-water spilling.
15. PLUMMER/ELECTRICIAN - get a dictionary/thesaurus first.
16. DoodyCalls Technician - they really shouldn’t put down janitors like that.
17. Golf Staff - and here I thought they were called clubs.
18. Pressure Washers - what’s next, heat cleaners?
19. Sandwich Artist - another “Jesus in my food” wannabe.
20. Self Storage Manager - this is for self storage?
21. Qualified Infant Caregiver - too bad for all the unqualified caregivers on the list.
22. Ground Support - but there’s just more dirt under there.
23. Gymboree Teacher - the hardest part is not burning your hands sliding down the pole.
24. COMMERCIAL space hunter - so they did find animals further out in the cosmos? Who knew.
25. JOB COACH - if they’re unemployed when they get to you, what does that say about them?
26. KIDS KAMP INSTRUCTOR! - no spelling ability required.
27. POOLS SUPERVISOR - “yeah, they’re still wet…”
28. HOUSE MANAGER/TEEN SUPERVISOR - see the dictionary under P, for Parent.
29. Licensed Seamless Gutter Contractor - just sounds bad.

Those weren't my comments after the titles but I pretty much came to those same conclusions.

I like the sound of Remedy Engineer though. I wonder what the starting pay is.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

As I read the list (and I did) The only thing I could think of that was positive is the fact that if you applied, you'd be the ONLY one applying. SO, the job is YOURS!! Uh, which one do you want? And are you looking for a CAREER or just EXCITEMENT.

Anne H said...

You are one funny blogger! Who Knew - too cute!

Nana said...

lol. You know, to enlighten you about eyebrow threading. I get it done every 2 weeks. It's an alternative to plucking, & it truly leaves you with AMAZING eyebrows. It looks much cleaner & professional than plucking. It's an Indian method & guess what, it costs 3$, takes 5 minutes:-)

Cinder Rail'lee said...

LOL, your hilarious Simone!

I've looked at the want ad's lately and some of them are pretty scary!

POSITIVE THOUGHTS!!

I'll call you tomorrow!

HuGZ
Tami

Justine said...

OMG, these were soooooooooo funny!

Justine :o )

Julie D said...

Eyebrow threading? Huh? What?

travel girl said...

I am so cracking up over #28!!

sitting on the mood swing at the playground said...

These are great!

Veronica Lee said...

LOL, this is hilarious!!

Marie Reed said...

Ahhh! You are a riot!

Anonymous said...

Too funny!!!!

 

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