You Have to Kiss a Few Toads...

before you meet your handsome prince. I used to always tell my daughters that and then, suddenly, I was out there, back in the dating scene again, kissing a few toads. I never planned on being single again in my forties and in fact, in my thirties, I remember commenting, "I can't imagine doing the single thing again. I'm so glad that my marriage is stable and I don't have to worry about finding Mr. Right. Wrong!!!! Boy, was I ever wrong!

My always in the back of my mind saying is, "Feel the fear and do it anyway" and that's what I did. Once I knew in my heart that I would never revisit the marriage that I once had, I began to think about dating. But, it had been years since I dated and I didn't know where to begin. Heck, I didn't even know how to flirt. So, I took the leap and went head on into online dating. I NEVER thought I'd go there. But, in order to live by my mantra, "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway", I had to give it a try, and try I did.

One perspective "date" which I'll refer to now as the P.I. (Private Investigator), seemed to be nice but a bit too attached still to his failed marriage. He spoke often of her and how she ruined him. Yet, "I was the one"...the one who was going to make him forget about her. I think not. We finally arranged to meet face to face, (nervous as I was and not feeling hopeful), he answered the phone groaning and in pain. Apparently, he was doubled over with stomach pains. He kept saying, "Oh God, Oh God!" So, I said, "Uh, do you want me to call someone like 9-1-1?" He didn't respond besides groaning, so I did what I thought was best and hung up. I prayed that he still had the capability of dialing 9-1-1 on his own. The next day, he called and explained that he had suffered an anxiety attack at the thought of seeing me. Whew! Relief! I thought it was something he ate! But, the good thing was that it gave me a chance to say, "I sure wouldn't want you to suffer from going out on a date with me so maybe you should just give it time." (I lost his number and hopefully, he lost mine.)

The next guy was one I'll call the buddy pal relationship. He was handsome but kissing wasn't on his agenda nor was a "real" date. He only wanted a fishing buddy. I was open to fishing because, I figured if I shared an interest in the things he liked, then he'd share an interest in the things I liked. Wrong! I was nothing more than a fishing buddy. The closest I got to him was a hug and then a handshake. I even offered to learn how to fillet the fish (of course, he'd have to teach me) but he declined saying that he'd rather do it himself. Bye buddy ol' pal!

The next guy told me that I was the ONE sent from heaven above to be his baby girl's mommy. It seems, his wife had died of cancer and his baby girl, Kaylie was missing her something awful but praying every night for a mama. I was it. He just KNEW that I was it. His picture was model quality. In fact, it resembled a head shot out of a Mervyns advertisement. His picture of his darling little angel was precious. I was a sucker and fell for the "My life feels complete now that I have you" line. He wrote of how lonely he was but faithful. We laughed together. I shared my thoughts and dreams with him...still unknowing that I wasn't going to be kissing no handsome prince but a snake.

....To Be Continued.....