I cried even though my big brother would've called me a wimp for shedding tears over him.
I cried because I realized that I no longer have a big brother to lean on, laugh with, gain wisdom from and to share the greatest joys in my life.
I cried because Craig made my twin sister and I a part of his world. From him, we learned wrestling moves (he was a wrestling coach), to laugh at life and not waste time on B.S. He valued us and proudly called us his little sisters.
As I cried, I reminisced over the one night when I was sound asleep in my bedroom when there was a knock on my window. Then another harder knock. Then a high pitched voice. I bolted to my sister's room, shaking. We both hesitantly went back to my room to bravely look out the window. It was Craig. After a wrestling victory celebration, having lost his voice from yelling and cheering and have quite a few brews, he came to share with victory with my sister and I. We laughed out of sheer relief. Last night, I cried at that memory.
I cried for his children. I cried for his dream of opening up a high end restaurant with live jazz music that wouldn't come to life. I cried because millions of others who's lives he touched, will miss him too.
Today, I'm done crying (I think). I know Craig wouldn't want the tears. He'd want the laughter. So today, I'm going to laugh. I'm going to see the sky as bluer than blue. I'm going to smell the air and take in it's fragrance. And sing one of Craig's favorite songs louder than loud, "Whip it, whip it good!"
Lover of God, my awesome husband, Pastor J, my kids, bonus kids, furkids and chocolate. I'm a writer, with a passion for anything creative. I am silly, clumsy, honest, faithful and often times, pathetic but so thankful that God loves me just as I am.