Sunday, February 7, 2010

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

That's probably my all time favorite saying and you know what? I totally believe it to be true. I have used this to do things that I never thought I'd ever do before. No, not bungee jumping or jumping out of a plane but doing things that I would've allowed fear to prevent from happening.

There's another favorite of mine that comes from a song..."sometimes the thrill of soaring has to begin with the fear of falling". I have experienced many fears in my lifetime.

As a kid, I was so afraid of the dark that I would wet the bed instead of getting up in the dark to go to the bathroom. I would wake my twin sister up to go with me to the bathroom. Even then, I'd be shaking as I walked through the darkness.

As I got older, I feared not being accepted or pretty enough. I saw the kind of girls that guys were looking for and I failed to attract those guys so I feared always being alone.

Also, as a teen, I feared driving. My sister and I had been rear ended by a drunk driver who failed to stop at a stop light and that did it for me. I refused to drive...until I was faced with the fear of not being able to get to my very first job at Disneyland on my own. I gripped the steering wheel each time I got behind the wheel but I made it there safely and then back home safely. (I won't mention the time that I got on so many wrong freeways that I was headed to Sacramento instead.)

Then, as I eloped and married who I thought was the person I would be with forever, I feared. I feared the unknown. Yet, it was sort of an exciting a challenge of sorts. I anticipated each day anew.

Suddenly, two kids later and depression looming not too far around the bend, on 9/11, that signaled the beginning of anxiety and fear in a major way for me. Here I was, an adult and back to being afraid of the dark. I saw and heard imaginary noises. I would dive under the covers. I would watch the news and before I knew it, I imagined a home invasion robbery about ready to happen. I imagined my kids being hurt. I imagined dying young. I feared so much but never let on outside of my house, just how much I feared.

One day, I realized just how much the fear was affecting who I was. I took a good look at the worst that could happen within my control and I came up with zero. Nothing was in my was not in my hands at all, but totally in His.

When my fear of my husband being unfaithful came to surface and then really did happen, I felt the fear. I reacted to the fear but the fear didn't stop me. I felt the fear and did it anyway. I moved on. I kept on moving. I looked at myself in the mirror and said, "I AM Who I AM Says I AM" and nobody is going to make me think otherwise.

The fear slowly dissipated. It wasn't was a process but not one that I dealt with all on my own. Each time I faced a challenge and met it, I applauded and cheered for myself.

Each time I heard the voice, "You can't do that!" I said to the voice, "Oh yes, I can!" and I did.

Yes, I still get fearful of the unknown but I no longer feel alone in my fears.

Oh and there is still one more challenge that I have yet to meet...I want to go karaoking. I don't fear that others will laugh, I look forward to meeting one more fear and doing it anyway!


Frau said...

Good for you facing fears is I think everybody greatest challenge. Karaoke i've done once....some things are meant to do once! Good luck and Have a wonderful week.

ethelmaepotter! said...

Congratulations on confronting fear and forcing it down. I struggle with it myself. The older I get, the easier it becomes in some ways, the more difficult in others.
Oh, for the days when a dark, unlit hallway or a tree branch scratching the window at night were the greatest fears in our lives!

Mari said...

Great post! We all have our own fears, and like you said, it's not in our control. I can certainly relate to worrying about things, and it often creates its own problem!

Buckeroomama said...

It takes something special, something strong in all of us to face down a fear and plow ahead! Good for you, Simone.

Country Wings in Phoenix said...

Oh Sweetie...
Happy Monday. I am so thrilled for you that you kept right on going. Just like the little ant in "High Hopes". He moved that rubber tree plant, because he had "High Hopes", and that my dear is you.

What many things you have over come in your life, one day at a time. Yes, nothing happens over night, but with good friends, and FAITH, we can overcome so many of our fears. Just realizing that we are not alone helps motivate us.

I am always right here for you. I love this post, and thank you sweetie for sharing a piece of your heart on this Valentines week.

Thank you for being my Valentine. Have a beautiful Monday. Country hugs sweetie and so much love. Your Valentine, Sherry

Farila said...

I am amazed by your attitude... Congratulations for being so strong for yourself. Best of luck for the new adventure...

Deidra said...

I'm glad you've found a way to face your fears. So much of what you wrote here was very familiar to me. Fear was a constant companion for much of my life. It still creeps in from time to time, and I keep pushing through.

Hey...I'll be in San Diego soon. Let's karaoke!

Nezzy said...

Were all there with you facin' down those fears. Good for you and ya'll have a blast singin' your little heart out!

Ya'll have a greatly blessed day!!!

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

What a great post. I too have some fears that I have not over come as yet.

I too would love to Karaoke but I am totally afraid of peoples reaction so I don't.

Danica said...

Great post! Way to face your fears. You must face our fears head on and move forward.

You so can karaoke!!!!

Janie B said...

Fear is a strong emotion. It's very controlling. Good for you for overcoming and persevering. We all have some fear in our lives. It's all in how we deal with it that matters.

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Arizona Mamma said...

I struggle with this too, but it seems to be centered around my fear of something happening to a loved one. So easy to let it grip me sometimes.

Dandy said...

I LOVE that quote, I love it. I've been focusing on this too. I feel like I conquered a lot of fears on my honeymoon. Doing things that I never thought I would.

Heres to you facing your fears!

blueviolet said...

I love how you have faced your fears head on. I will remember this as I begin to face so many of my own. I admire you so much!

Anita said...

I love your openness, the fact that you are so real with your fears and issues that need work. It helps me to think about some of mine, where I've been, where I am now, and where I want to go.
You've GOT to get someone to video your karoake performance and put it on the blog!
(I know I just seriously butchered the spelling.) :)

Multiple personalities.. said...

This is truly one of the most inspirational posts I've ever read. Fear is can be a truly overwhelming force, and I love your determination to face it head on.

And FYI, if we lived anywhere near each other, I'd SOOO be taking you out with me to karaoke!! You know us Asians, we love us some karaoke! Ha ha!!

Helene said...

I admire your ability to face your fears head-on and to conquer them. I'm scared of plenty of things but then I think about how life is short and I don't want to be laying on my death bed wishing I had been more brave.

Oddly enough, one of the things that had always frightened me was childbirth. You know, you hear everyone's horror stories and it scares you half to death. Obviously, I got through it both times and realized it wasn't something to be scared of but more something to be excited about.

lagirl/Sweet Tea said...

I love to hear "over-comer" stories. That was great. You DID IT and you've every right to be proud of yourself and to encourage the rest of us. Way to Go!

Now, I want to know what you did when you worked at Disneyland? That sounds like a fantastic, fun job. Was it?

Ina in Alaska said...

Oh that is funny! Go ahead and grab that microphone and belt it out!!! All weekend long it snowed in our part of Alaska. The roads were super icy, and I do not enjoy driving on icy roads, although I have 4 studded winter tires and All Wheel Drive. In our law practice we do a lot of personal injury work and I have seen for over 20 years how auto accidents are so inconveniencing and terrible!!! And of course I always worry about the skills of the "other driver"...But, I decided this morning to take a deep breath and enjoy it. I put on Gregorian Chant music and just enjoyed the drive and the beautiful mountain scenery as I drove to work with those magical, serene voices. Wonderful!! xoxo

The girl with the flour in her hair said...

Such an inspirational post. I can be pretty fearful too. I have a shot of fear hit me every time I hit the "publish" button on my blog. (Especially with this last post! :) I think it all boils down to rejection for me and that's hard to get over. I struggle with it every day and I admire the way you face yours and overcame them. Way to go. You're my hero!

klah said...

I love the saying “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway”! That book, by Susan Jeffers, is so empowering. I keep a copy close at hand and reread the certain parts when I start to feel seized up with fear. Affirmations do make a difference. Just saying it makes me feel better. Sometimes its just facing the little things that make all the difference.

Jenny said...

Sounds like your Mom really taught you well. Good for you. Oh go'll be amazing.

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