Monday, February 1, 2010

What Becomes of the Broken Hearted?

What becomes of the broken hearted
Who had love that's now departed?
I know I've got to find
Some kind of peace of mind

Not WILL!!!

I have loved and moved on past the hurt of that love. Yet, watching my daughter deal with the anguish of a broken heart, I find that I don't have the right words to say to make it better. I no longer have the "solve it all" solution that Mommy usually has.

I look back on when all I did was cry. I would hear a song on the radio and it would remind me of what used to be and I'd cry. I didn't think I could move past what I knew for 24 years. It was my familiar. But then, I was reminded that I wasn't only letting go of that love but I was mourning the loss of that love. As a way of healing, I wrote the poem below....

In Memory of Us

Clutching a flower in my hand, I kneel before the headstone.

Remembering those first words, "I love you!"

Picturing the first time our eyes met.

Facing reality that I will never again be in your arms,

feeling your lips on mine

or falling asleep with my head on your pillow, listening to your soft breathing.

The rain will still fall but the meaning of it has changed. No longer are rainy days, welcome days of lying by the fire, drinking coffee, relaxing together. The rain comes as a reminder to me of my tears that flow endlessly.

Gone are the days when our girls’ laughter brings sparks of memories of when they were first placed in our arms, the feeling of protecting them from every bad person, nightmare and feeling.

I am saying goodbye to what once existed between us. Words seldom spoken, yet we communicated just the same.

I'm letting go of the feeling of being loved and protected by you and loved like no other woman has ever been loved!

As the memories of our times shared continue to float through my mind, I gently lay the flower on the headstone.

Goodbye to the thrill of smelling your cologne drenched body. Goodbye to your laughter. Goodbye to your hand in mine. Goodbye to the traditions we've made in our lifetimes together. Goodbye to the friendship that we only knew and understood. Goodbye to love notes, thoughtful surprises and heartfelt words written on the bathroom mirror. Goodbye to calming fears, wiping tears and being held close. Goodbye to Saturday breakfasts and coffee shared together. Goodbye to personal jokes that only you and I could laugh about together.

Running my fingers across the words on the headstone, I read out loud,

“In Memory of Us.”


©Simone C. Moland - 2006

As we usher in February, I'm reminded of the fact that this is what I call the "month of love". This month, more than any, I'm reminded of the love that I have for others, the love that is given to me as a gift and the challenge of loving even those that are unlovable. If there is someone that you know that is going through the end of a relationship, be there, in thought, prayer and friendship.

If you've loved and lost that love, what gave you the strength to keep on going?


Sherry said...

Beautiful poetry on a sad subject, but one I think we have all experienced. For if we haven't known love in some form, we have lived a cloistered life. There are so many types of love and this is the month to share it.

What has worked for me is what works it's magic for everyone. Time. Simply time. ♥

Elle Bee said...

So heartfelt Simone. Sherry is right--time really is the best healer. And lots of prayer.

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

I thought I was over a great love of years passed but I just recently realized I am far from being over him. *sigh*

Deidra said...

I agree it's time that heals (most) wounds. Distance from the source. Good, healthy grief. And when the healing is complete, there is usually a wiser, stronger, even more generous heart to share...

Deborah Ann said...

Oh, what beautiful poetry the loss of love can bring forth! This was so beautiful, Simone. Keep writing! God is painting a beautiful picture with you...

Anonymous said...

Beautiful poem. I am not looking forward to the first broken heart from any of my children but I know the time will come. Lord knows I've had my fair share of them. But hey, I ended up with Mr. C, so it was all worth it.

Nezzy said...

Just beautifully well put. Time binds all wounds of the heart.

Great post! You have yourself a glorious day!!!

ethelmaepotter! said...

Oh Simone!
I read this twice, then I copied and pasted it into a special folder I keep for "My Favorite Things."
Your love pours out on the page like a pulsing heart, your reconciliation to love lost sings soulfully to us, as the most melancholy blues. Oh! I ache for you and the love you had and lost!
If your daughter has inherited your passion, your ability to love fully, there is no answer other than time to heal her heart and soul. I'll be thinking of you both.
Much love,

Buckeroomama said...

Those were beautiful words in a beautiful poem, Simone.

I agree with the others. Time heals. After the pain comes healing (I can't remember who said that). We just need to give it time.

Lin said...

Wow, Simone, that was beautiful and yet so sad. I guess the love lived a life and had to die prematurely. That happens sometimes, you know. I'm sorry that you are/were sad, and I hope you find the love has blossomed somewhere else in your life. Love does that--it reappears somewhere else.

Mariel said...

beautiful and sad thoughts. I have a friend and neighbor who recently lost her young husband...thank you for the glimpse of her heart, as I now know better how to pray for her. May our Lord be your Husband and your Comfort.

Farila said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Farila said...

Wow!! This is a wonderful blog. It brings pain but the kind of pain which is necessary to make you feel human.
I come from different culture where marriages are arranged by parents and falling in love is a taboo.. Thank God times are changing and changing fast. I did not have courage to change time.. tried to love the person I married, succeeded to some extent. We are slowly drifting apart due to our attitudes and differing views ... I feel I have never experienced the true love I hear so much about. Your blog makes me feel to look for it once again...

Ina in Alaska said...

Women should not be so hard on themselves. Many times it is just not our fault and quit agonizing over what will not be. We must rely on our inner strength and love ourselves. Also reach out to those who love you unconditionally. One door shuts, a better one opens. Hang in there, it will be ok, I promise. xoxo

Veronica Lee said...

Beautiful poem, Simone. Yes, time heals every wound but some take a little longer.

Nana said...

I want to kick him in the arse, really. It's heart breaking because I know exactly where she's at, I was reading her post just now and I feel sad that she has to go through it. Well, I guess we must all go through it? I think there's a lot to be learned from grief. Lovely poem, I always gained some strentgh from your heart break, in this we were kindred spirits. love you.

Joanna Jenkins said...

So sorry your daughter is having a hard time. I'm sending hugs her way.

Your poem is beautiful Simone. A broken heart is not easy. I've found the pain lingers but with time, it doesn't sting as much.


Danica said...

Beautiful poem!

I'm sorry your daughter's heart is breaking.

For me when I lost my mom and was going through the loss of my relationship with a man, it was the comfort of my friends that got me through it. As well as prayer. I talked to God every night. He knows what is best for us.

Kwana said...

What a beautiful sad poem. I think your love and the warmth from her family will bring her through. Also time. Time. Time.

Ace said...

That was beautiful. Thank you, for sharing it with us.

I can't say I've lost a love, but for the past year I've been watching my daughter deal with one broken heart after another. I don't know if it is that she chooses to give her heart to those who don't care or if it is just the callousness of a generation because I can't seem to see any signs of commitment in them.

Suz said...

Simone -

What a beautiful and gut wrenthing post. I know we have all gone through that feeling but seeing it in words was wonderful. I would like to share your poem with a friend who is going through a divorce. Is that OK?

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Very touching, Simone. You know what I did to get over a broken heart--I wrote a book! I don't think I'll ever experience anything so painful again--at least I hope not!


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