1) Threatening a kid with "If you aren't good, then Santa isn't going to bring you any toys" no longer works.
2) Waving a tampon in my face and saying, "I'll be back, I have to go to the bathroom" when filling out a job application is not a way to make a good first impression.
3) Since moving to Oregon, I've fallen off the wagon as far as washing my car. Why wash it when it will rain five minutes after it's clean?
4) Kittens are under the impression that Christmas trees are their ultimate play toy. Climbing up and through the tree while knocking down every ornament makes for more fun.l
5) Cats know how to ignore the word "no".
6) Some people were never taught to play nice on the playground. Ultimately, they are now obnoxious, rude and bossy adults.
7) As I get older, I get more persnickety about writing with smooth ink pens, buying only certain brands of salad dressing and eating only crunchy apples with stripes.
8) Before I announce that it's "pouring outside", I should check to make sure I've turned off the bathroom faucet.
9) The greatest gift we can give to others is ourselves.
10) Ever since I mentioned the song 18 Cents in my last blog post, it's stuck in my head so here it is....
What have you learned?
m o n d a y
1 hour ago