Happy New Year - 2014. It's been a long time - way too long. But I'm working on a project that is going to keep me from disappearing as long as I have and it's something G-O-O-D. Need a HINT? Putting the pen to the paper... hint, hint In the meantime, I'm feelin' the need to share my ONE WORD - 365.  Are you ready? It is..... Enough Out of all the words that I could've chosen, I feel as if ENOUGH is it for this year. I've had  ENOUGH of being complacent. I've had  ENOUGH of not trusting God,  ENOUGH. No longer will I allow myself to feel that I'm not good  ENOUGH - I am cause I Am says that I Am -  ENOUGH . When I have   ENOUGH on my plate, I need to say to myself, " ENOUGH" and mean  ENOUGH. When the things around me become overwhelming and I feel like I can't take another step, breathe another breath or whisper another prayer, I know that my heavenly Father knows that I've had  ENOUGH.  Today, this very m...

This is the least of my problems but one that I has grabbed my focus lately....soggy cereal. I got my love of cereal before I was even old enough to say, "I'm Coocoo for Cocoa Puffs!! I have a few that are still my faves even though the sugar content is off the un-nutritional charts.  Cap'n Crunch with Crunch Berries...something about the dye in the crunch berries makes the cereal. Then, there's another favorite of mine, Reese Peanut Butter Puffs...but unfortunately, I can no longer enjoy their peanutty goodness thanks to my new tree nut allergies. Then there's Sugar Frosted Flakes...their GREATTTT!!! But the biggest dilemma is I can't stand soggy cereal and cereal just ain't cereal unless you have some sort of dairy or wanna be dairy product. The only way I can enjoy a good bowl of cereal is to pour the coconut milk (yep, now allergic to almond milk) into the cereal and try to eat it before the crunch disappears...which is usually 39.2 seconds. (I co...

I couldn't stop the sensation. It was a feeling out of my control. In fact, the inner voice was silent, all except this feeling. Then, everything went black. I woke up to paramedics asking me questions that I couldn't find my voice to answer. My brain seemed to stop and where thoughts were stored, there weren't any at all. (That was horrible in itself...me...the thinker and talker.) Humility hit as slowly, it all came back to me. I was at work and the people swarming around me were my co-workers. I closed my eyes to block out the view of concerned faces and to make sense of it all. This was the second time I had been in the back of an ambulance and still had no ability to be nosy and check out the view. I just wanted to scream, "What is happening?" But, I couldn't find my voice. I got to the ER and my thoughts were starting to surface again. It was a place that looked familiar to me....very familiar. I don't know how blogging and writing has beco...

There's an elephant in the room. I don't know how it got there without being noticed or invited, but it did. It must've been small enough to enter through the front door but perhaps while no one was looking, he was eating off of plates left unattended, candy bowls left unguarded and and leftover cookies on a platter. He's grown so big, he can't leave the same way he entered. I once had an elephant in the room that even a mouse couldn't send him running. That elephant was a person that I trusted as a friend. We were as close as two sisters yet, the elephant crept in. It started when she began to tell hurtful jokes. The elephant grew. Then she turned the conversations into opportunities to put me down, while lifting herself up. The elephant plumped up some more. I cringed my way through conversations with her and avoided confrontations with her. Finally, the elephant became destructive enough that I knew it had to leave. I let her know that something had changed i...

It's all a matter of perspective…that is the thought ringing in my head today. I struggle to fight against things going on in my life. The sad fact is that what I'm fighting against is more than likely what was meant in my life all along. In almost two years of our marriage, I have held on to a longing to make things "the way they used to be". It's taken me this long to realize that "the way things used to be" is basically the past. And truly I'm not for  living in the past but in the present. For one, I was much younger, a little less bold, fearful and seeking out perfection most of the time. Now, I'm willing to try new things, i.e, adventures, food and a neverending thirst to be myself. I have learned to look at my ongoing medical saga as a way to breathe through the pain and keep on pushing and if pushing doesn't work, sit and chill for a bit. I no longer think that I'm going to die. The way I see it, is if it was my time to go, then w...

On May 1st, 2013, I walked my baby girl down the path to where her soon to be husband waited for her. I held her hand as we walked. I was reminded that one day, while walking into the grocery store, I told her, "One of these days, you're going to get tired of holding my hand". She replied, "I'll always hold your hand!" So, on that day, we held hands as they began their lives together as husband and wife. My eyes filled with tears quite a few times on that day. I remembered that on June 7th, my life was changed when I gave birth to a precious baby girl, Jarani who stole this mama's heart. I loved being a mom from the very beginning when my oldest, Ev'Yan was born. With two, you get even more adventures and adventures are putting it lightly. Jarebear, I want you to know that on today, that you are a special gift to me. Even though it was 24 years ago, it still feels like yesterday. I'm proud of every moment of your life...the good, th...

You KNOW it’s “one of those days” when you start it out by having M&Ms for breakfast. (Although, it could just be a good excuse for eating something I shouldn’t be.) The truth is, it’s been more than “one of those days” – more like, “one of those weeks or months”. I keep functioning by laughing. In fact, I am beginning to think that I have Laughing Tourette’s because I find throughout the day that I’m laughing to myself. The other day, I rolled over my toe while sitting in my office chair. Even though I thought it was broken, I laughed. It would be just one more story to tell in this endless chain of events. I work next door to a homeless shelter. My view outside my window usually consists of people that are homeless pacing the parking lot throughout the day. A few minutes ago, I heard the loudest, heart wrenching crying coming from outside. A man passed by my window, sobbing. He continued walking, crying and 10 steps later; he was smiling, like his crying never happened. I thought...