Before I get into this, I have to give a disclaimer...this is not stuff that I learned in one day's time. I'm not that much of a sponge....just pretend to be one! LOL 1) Vinegar spilled on the floor (ie, broken glass decanter, smells like dog barf. 2) Don't pull on a string hanging from my shirt. It may very well be the string that holds the whole shirt together. (Picture this..holding a ball of string that used to be a shirt...not good.) 3) An elderly doctor just taught me this...If you lose some thing and someone else finds it and doesn't return it, I guess it meant that they needed it more. (That explains why my ex husband is in the arms of a 21 year old.) 4) Broccoli and cauliflower are both "flowers" but cauliflower tastes like cow poop. Go figure. 5) He who laughs lasts, makes a fool out of themselves. It's better to end your laugh at the same time as everyone else. If not, you will be considered rude and discourteous. 6) Never take a two year old to...

When I was a kid, I collected "stuff" ... not junk..stuff. Either way, to my mom, it was junk. I collected rocks, marbles, stamps, seashells and lists. I didn't realize that I collected lists until....yesterday. My fist list I made when I was about 8 years old. It was a list of baby names that I decided that I would name my babies when I was old enough to have some of my own. I added to that list it seemed like, every day. I came up with great names too and the list carried on even until my second daughter was born. I've always liked names and even now, when I hear beautiful names, I think to myself, "Hmmmm, maybe I'll remember that name in case I have a grandbaby or two or three or maybe a new puppy. The next list I collected was the what I'd do when I was rich list. The list started out like this: My sister and I wrote a letter to "The ladies of the orphanage". We asked to adopt every baby that didn't have a home, including dogs, birds and...

When I was little, I had a dream that was so real. I was in first grade. (Amazing that I still remember it.) I had a crush on a boy named Brian Crowder. In my dream, we got married and after we kissed, he told me to call him Bruce. I remember going to school and trying to tell him that we were married because I dreamed we were and that he told me to call him Bruce. A few years later, I dreamed that I had a baby ( a real one) and it was no bigger than my thumb. Then, on my way to school, I lost it in the car. I was frantically looking for my baby, underneath the seats and near the steering wheel. After I had both of my daughters, I dreamed about having another baby. I don’t know whether I had adopted her or if she was a child that I had given birth to. But, I remember to this day, what she looks like. She felt like mine. In fact, it may have been a dream but I woke up missing her, longing to hold her once again. As I got older, I realized that my dreams were oft...

When Baby Boo and I are hanging together, I have to remind myself that she is only two. In fact, she just turned two in March. Yet, we have real conversations. They may not be the most intellectual chats but I'm impressed with her skills of back and forth banter. Here's our conversation today: BB: Momo, I love you. You love me? I love youme. Momo: I love you too, Baby Boo. BB: I love me too, Momo. BB: Momo, doing? Me: Driving. BB: I not driving. I sitting. Seconds later... BB: Doing? Me: I'm driving. We're going to the store. BB: We buy cookies? Fwench fies? Me: No. Milk. BB: I like milk, Momo. You like milk? Not waiting for reply... BB: See my dress? (She tugs on it to show me). Me: It's beautiful. You're beautiful in your dress. BB: You booful too, Momo. I got hair. See my hair? Me: Yes. You have pretty hair. Later at home... BB: I have eyes. (Stretching them down.) Bending down to move the dog, Sam's fur away from his face.... Where's Sammy's eye...

1) There IS a such thing as a do over. My Mother’s day proved that! 2) Neosporin up your nose really does work with sinusitis. 3) It sucks to lose your dad when you’re an only child, even when you’re an adult. I’m watching my co-worker’s anguish as she prepares to leave for Florida to be with her dad. There’s no words to tell her to make it alright. 4) Pancakes for dinner is the best meal of all! 5) Turning 50 is just as yummy as turning 21 when it’s my Boo! 6) I either step in gum, poop or leave the price tag on my shoe and it’s discovered right in the middle of a meeting (when your legs are crossed). 7) I listen to that small voice in my head more than I should. 8) Trix cereal really is for kids. But can’t they finally give some to the silly rabbit? 9) Grilled peanut butter sandwiches are the bomb! 10) The comic, Archie is finally going to propose to Betty or Veronica. That’s the Bachelor comic style. I hope he chooses Betty. What have you learned?

My twin sister and I had our kids somewhat close together so her oldest daughter and my oldest, grew up hanging out and her son and my youngest daughter, hung out. They were buddies. There was something precious about the two youngest - the buddies. Cameryn and TV Boo were two peas in a pod. They were 9 months apart and could play together for hours. Cameryn, being a boy cousin, didn't bristle when TV Boo wanted to play Barbies. He got his Steven Barbie doll and was the "rescuer" of her Barbies. Cameryn hated tying his shoes and was notorious for running with the laces flopping so it was a given, TV Boo always tied his shoes. Cameryn hated drinking water. He had to be forced to drink water. My sister had a rule that before he could drink anything else, he had to have a glass of water. He would cry because he hated water. TV Boo would cheer him on as he drank it. (I wouldn't be surprised if she snuck and drank his water for him.) When Cameryn did the "boy...

I'm thrilled but it's still unofficial until word from the owner....but we found a house! I'm not sure if I mentioned that we had a house, then we didn't have a house and then we had a house but the lady fell out with her partner so she changed her mind about moving....all of this happened last week...on top of PMSing. I have been a mess, to say the least. Straight from work on Friday, I went house hunting. I house hunted Saturday and this morning. Finally, Boo and I went to a house and it felt like mine. It even had cobalt blue tiles mixed in with the white tiles on the counter tops. It has french doors which I love and an office and a set up for an artist with adjustable lighting. I've never had an art studio and now, I will. The only drawback is the white carpet. I'm a spill magnet. I spill just thinking about spilling. I'm a bit nervous about that...especially with Baby Boo. I can just imagine the things she can do with some markers and paint. But, I...

I've decided to make it a tradition to post on Thursdays, the Things I've Learned. Seems like life is just full of lessons for me - some good and some not so good. Right now, I just got news that the house we were going to rent and move into on the 31st of this month is no longer available. We're scrambling to find a place and I'm sticking everything in my mouth from the stress of it all. So...in spite of that piece of news...I may be looking to rent a few shopping carts, attach them and call them condos on wheels. (Just kidding...humor is a little stale at the moment.) The things I've learned... 1) Pity parties end early when celebrated alone. 2) Not all doctors wash their hands before they eat. 3) First impressions aren't always right. 4) Ten almonds a day is supposed to improve my memory. I wonder if twenty a day makes me a genius? 5) When a doctor's name is Yu Ho, I'm supposed to hold all laughter in....including greeting him as Dr. Ho. 6) I cannot ...

I believe in calling it the way I see it. Yeah, I know, he's dead so what's the point? I'm reading a book by Arianna Huffington, titled "On Becoming Fearless" (great book by the way) and in the chapter, Fearless in Love, it discusses the scumbag, Picasso. Apparently, he was so stuck on himself that he treated women as objects to be trampled on. He was known for saying that he liked to turn women from goddesses into doormats. Out of the women that he was with, 2 committed suicide, two were "rescued" with nervous breakdowns and there was only one who felt the courage to leave. Her name was Francois Gilot. When she turned 30, the punk's gift to her was to tell her that any girl of 18 was more beautiful than her. I wish I could've high fived her when I read that she grabbed the courage to leave his insane arse. Eventually, she married Jonas Salk. I wonder what gave her the courage to leave? I live with regrets that I didn't walk away from my mar...

My daughter, of the "apricot" fame has unveiled her newest website/blog called ask.apricot Not only will you be able to ask questions about fashion, makeup, hair but also, in depth, personal stuff related to relationships and anything else that's on your mind. If you have read her other blog, apricot-tea.com you know that you can't go there and not walk away without taking something new away with you. There's a terrific giveaway with two chances to win and you don't want to miss it, I promise you! Please tell her that her mommy sent you!

My Mother's day was one of the best ever!!! My daughters will attest to what I'm getting ready to share. When I was married, I got this huge knot in my stomach before and on Mother's day. Why? Because my ex would make that day a living hell for me. His mother would chime in and it would turn into me finally saying, "No more. Let's just pretend like it's just another day." The last Mother's day before the divorce, he took the girls out shopping for a Mother's day gift. They came home from shopping in tears. He told them, "Your mother is fat, in case you haven't noticed. You need to get her something in size LARGE." Either way, from that point on, I dreaded this day. Flash forward to now...the day before, I had the greatest masterpiece dinner of sheer elegance prepared by TV Boo (since she's almost not a teen anymore). She made crab legs with melted lemon butter, asparagus, mashed potatoes and french bread and Ben and Jerry's fo...

Years ago, my grandmother moved in when my sisters and I were young. She never learned to drive so she was a sahg (stay at home grandma). The only thing was that she was an annoying sahg. She was a neat freak. I mean, not your average neat but obsessive neat. She was known for washing the outside of all cans, fruit and stuff she brought home from the grocery store even before it could be put away in the pantry or fridge. There were some advantages to her cleanliness...a clean bathtub. We would fight over who got to take their bath after she was finished. It was so clean, you could lick it! Then, because she didn't drive, she'd walk to the store which was about two miles away. She would be gone for hours and she always hitched a ride back home with strangers. No joke! One time, this low rider Chevy came driving up. You know the kind with the hydraulics. Hispanics climbed out and they looked like they were ready to rumble. I went in search of the phone in case I needed to dial 9-...

I was in my office at work, and I kept hearing what sounded like someone sawing something. I got up to "inspect" and in our video conferencing room, on the big screen was my friend Mako (shown on the left) doing a knee replacement. Of course, he (I think he's a he) had the assistance of two doctors but still, Mako was the man of the hour. In awe, I stood looking at the screen, mouth hanging open. I began to dream wide awake of the things I could do with Mako...I mean the things that Mako could do for me. If I had Mako I would.... 1) Open up my own drive thru surgery center. I mean, I have a scalpel already. I just need an open for business sign. Of course, I'd have patients sign disclaimers releasing me of all liability. Just think of all the money you all could save! I could have buy one lap band surgery and get the other free (courtesy of me and my pal, Mako). 2) Mako would be my body guard. Just like the robot on Lost In Space, he'd say, "Danger! Danger...

The last few days have been what I call "learning days" for me. I don't know why it is that some days, I'm taught more lessons than others. Here's what I've learned........... 1) Toothpaste hurts like hell when it gets in your eye. I put on my contact lens not knowing I had toothpaste still on my finger. I think I have a little idea of what acid in the eye now feels like. 2) That good friends, even blogging buddies, speak words of wisdom and I need to stop and pay attention. 3) One bloggy girlfriend, in particular (you know who you are) showed me this. I need to kick my ex's ass. Yes, I said it. Me, the "I don't curse" person that I am. It took her to show me how because of him, I'm afraid of falling deeply in love again. I have a sexy, wonderful man in my life, but in all honesty, one foot is in the door and the other foot is still out. Why? Because I'm afraid of being hurt to the core like I was by my ex. I tolerated crap that I hav...