We tried to "memorize" the information so we could go home and discuss all that we had read. Words like, cum, masturbation, erotic, orgasm....what the heck???? We got home and stayed up nights talking about "it". The very first time I french kissed, I was repulsed. To exchange spit with someone that was "germy" to me was disgusting. I went home and shared that with my sister too. I was curious about sex but feared God's wrath and my parents wrath more than the urge to give it a try. Even thinking of sex made me think that I needed to ask for forgiveness somehow. The boy that I french kissed wanted to go further but I told him straight out, "no". He begged and gave me lines like, "Guys have needs, you know and if they don't get "it" then it hurts them and you don't want to hurt me, do you?" I was naive but not that naive. I told him no once again and he got mad at me. He stopped talking to me because I was "mea...

Married Boo had a very honest look at sex on her blog . I enjoyed the open mindedness in which she discussed her own feelings and needs on the subject. One thing that came out of that was the sex talk aka "the birds and the bees". I have no idea where that phrase came from because frankly, there isn't any bees stinging or birds flying when it comes to sex. But I understand that somehow, someone came up with a visual and that was the best visual they could find. How did you find out the nitty gritty of sex? Being 45, it wasn't a common day conversation in my house. In fact, my sisters and I grew up in a strict Christian family and the church we attended frowned on pants wearing and even lipstick wearing and s-e-x was definitely taboo. I remember one time, a girl who had to be at least 19 or older, got pregnant (not married) and she had to ask for forgiveness in front of the whole congregation of 800 people. If that was a scare tactic, it must've worked fo...

Our new house has endless, beautiful walking trails. It's now become the adventure of the evening, Baby Boo and I and sometimes, Boo. We went hiking up a "mountain", otherwise known as a dirt mound. To her it was a mountain and she told me so. "Look, I cimbed da mountin." Took a drink from a flowing water fall, otherwise known as the drinking fountain and it was the greatest challenge for Baby Boo since eating her sandwich together without taking out the meat. We got close to the wildlife. "Momo, a fie is on you. Get it! He's gon bite you." My response: "Flies are nice. They just like us cause we smell good." Next, we climbed a tree. Well, not really, the branch was growing on the ground but to Baby Boo, she "cimbed" a tree. Then, we smelled the flowers. Her comment, "Mmm, it smells nice." I thought they stunk but I agreed that it smelled good. (Didn't want to be a negative Nancy.) Then, we ran a small kilometer...

My friend, Tami sorta tagged me with a scrap award and since I can't post the award here while at work, you'll have to use your imaginations. In the meantime, I will say that the person that tagged me is the queen of honesty and realness. She doesn't play around when it comes to telling the truth and I like that about her. Since she tagged me, I have the joy of naming 10 honest things about me….here goes… Ten honest things….. 1) This question always runs through my head and I'd love to ask this to someone who knows, "What does "dead" feel like? Does it hurt? Do you feel a sense of relief or utter fear of what comes next? Is it like being on a roller coaster and your ascending up a steep slope and not knowing when you'll be rushing down again? Also, a part of this, I have an honest admission, Michael Jackson's death really brought out some emotions in me that I didn’t even know existed. I cried on my way to work, while listening to one of his song...

1) I've been tagged by Lin and that means that I have to post the tenth picture from the first folder. Here's my puppy dog, Sam, the one eyed wonder. He's the million dollar dog since he's costed me an arm and leg in vet bills. 2) Confidence is when you walk out the door and are standing in the checkout line at Walmart and you look down and discover you have two different shoes on your feet - one red shoe and one brown, yet, you hold your head up high like it was done on purpose. (Thanks TV Boo for teaching me that.) 3) Beauty can be found in your own backyard. While taking a walk on the trails by our house with Boo and Baby Boo, we took the time to really smell the flowers, listen to the birds and feel the gravel beneath our feet. It felt SO good!! 4) Two word, "I'm sorry" sometimes hold more weight than the words, "I love you". 5) I'm a crummy person. I don't know why but I create crumbs wherever I go. I can be eating the same meal as ...

I've discovered something so ugly about blogging, well, actually, about human nature. We have become more resilient to hearing about things, seeing things and reacting to things that are appalling, sexual, horrifying, disappointing, violent, shocking and disgusting and sad. Yet, there's also intrigue at happy stories, uplifting and positive too. Years ago, when I was newly married, there was a video that floated around called Faces of Death. It was disturbing because it showed unedited rituals which often led to death. It showed gross things such as a parachute malfunctioning and a guy falling into an alligator pit. It showed executions. My ex (then husband) watched with fascination. I watched (not all of them) with curiosity and often peering from behind my hands. Years later, reality shows hit. I have to admit that I watch some of the shows, cheering on the good times, being emotional with bad outcomes. For instance, Jon and Kate. I loved watching their kiddos in action. Bei...

It's getting close to due date or should I say R date as in reduction at the job. I can feel it. Everyone can feel it. A few people toss their cookies in the bathroom from being so keyed up and stressed. Others chatter or laugh nervously, while others roll their eyes occasionally. Me? I try to read between lines and look for clues as to if I'm "the chosen one" to be a part of the "reduction gang". My boss used to walk with all of us from my department of three as we left for the day…he no longer does that. He greeted the other co-walker and talked in depth to her and not to me. **Gulp.** I feel like the ladies on Twilight Zone's episode called Noon Day Sun where it's hotter than hot and they keep saying to one another, "When will this dreadful heat end?" They are drenched in sweat and stripped down to their slips. (If it was me, I'd be one nude girl. Forget having any material between me and the heat.) To make ends meet, I'm serious...

A few years ago, my neighbor, Connie had a stroke. She was really bad off and her doctors released her to hospice care. She was a wonderful Hispanic lady who treated my daughters like her grandkids. She called them both Mija. She would sit by the window as they played outside and keep an eye on the neighborhood kids. One day, I came out and Connie was questioning a boy that had been playing with my daughters. "Who are you? Why are you here?" she asked him. She didn't give him a chance to answer when she burst out with, "Go home! You're playing too rough with them. Until you can play nice, don't come back!" I was shocked yet, smiling inside. She stuck up for her "honorary" granddaughters. After she passed away, there was a void. No longer did I have the comfort of her being close by. She was supposed to give me her recipe for tamales. Either way, she touched my life and my daughter's lives in many ways. I have 77 followers and you know what?...

I'm hoping and praying I don't get laid off because not only do I need the job but I need the medical benefits. For some reason, at this this point in my life, I'm a walking accident. I can't explain the magnetism but somewhere in the universe, there is a beam of light that says, "hurt me, cut me, bruise me." How can someone get a bruise the size of Argentina on her thigh because the dog's head ran into it? I heard a crack and don't know whether it was his head or my thigh. If it was his head, it must've hurt. I'm also the only person that can get a multiple paper cut right across the ulnar (wrist) vein and not die from hemorrhaging. Or how about the almost death from cheese asphyxiation? I can usually talk and eat at the same time but yesterday, I forgot to chew before I swallowed and inhaled cheese straight to my lungs. I coughed, sputtered and even cleared my throat, but the cheese didn't budge. This morning, I'm wheezing all because...

1) Even flies are protected by PETA. Swatting flies can be considered animal cruelty. When they land on your food, you’re supposed to allow them to help themselves. 2) Prizes in a box of Cracker Jacks are getting cheaper and cheaper. Remember when there was a whistle or a small book of tattoos? Those tattoos stayed on for a week! 3) There are lurkers on my blog that are only here to find out what’s going on in my life without having to ask me themselves. 4) The best way to prevent Sponge Bob meltdown in a two year old is to tell her the tv is broken. **Note – make sure you hide the remote…she knows how to turn it on. 5) I can’t eat the same way I did when I was a kid. I could eat a whole package of sunflower seeds, a double scoop ice cream cone and a box of Mike and Ikes, in one sitting and not get sick. 6) My new philosophy is: Less is more! Less ice cream, more weight loss. Less clothes, more space. Less coffee, more work productivity due to less trips to the bathroom. 7) There are b...

I have too much curiosity to sit on a street and beg for money. Why beg when you can get it for free? So, for food, I'd do the following: 1) hang out at funerals a) wear my all black style combo (pulled fresh from a grocery bag) b) do a little reading up on the deceased c) cry a little…not much or else people become suspicious d) catch a ride to the memorial park (feigning that you would rather go with someone else because you're too upset to drive e) go to the after funeral dinner party and eat, eat, eat!! (I'd also make sure I fixed a "to go" plate for later. 2) attend weddings of those people that you don't know a) pull out fresh wedding outfit (from grocery bag) b) always say you're with the groom's side of the family. Most people won't be so nosy and ask how you are related. Now, if you're of a different ethnicity from the groom, then your response would be, "my mom and his mom were childhood friends…." c) attend the reception, a...

If you know me by now, sometimes I can joke around and other times, I can be serious. Well, this is one of those "serious" moments. *rolling eyes are allowed Married Boo has had two fabulous meetups with new friends she's met from blogging. She described her meetup in Las Vegas as "an experience that was hard to put into words but amazing!" She said, "I went without any expectations of bonding and meeting life long friends but by the first day, we were all crying over the thought of having to say good bye." That's powerful!!! That's what I want too. I want to have those types of friends. I mean, I have that here in blogland BUT most of you live in Timbuktu, miles and miles away, in other states and countries. What's a girl to do when all she needs is a few friends to hang out with? To keep in touch with? Laugh with? Cry with? When I was still married, I lived in a town where I had friends to hang with. I met them through my daughters as the...

I am the type of person that would rather be vigilant and start looking for a job even before I've been given my walking papers. Yes, I may be in for a surprise and not get laid off but then again, I'm thinking that I more than likely will. While browsing, I found the following job titles... From this link 1. experienced bra fitter - I bet they had trouble finding candidates for this one. 2. PlayStation Brand Ambassador - please report to your residence in the United States of Nintendo. 3. Eyebrow Threading - I REALLY hope this has something to do with dolls. 4. Administraive/ Secretary - ok, ok, we get it. It’s clear where you need help. 5. Finish Carpenter - for when the Start Carpenter gets tired. 6. Helpdesk Technician @ Pentagon - “Uh, hello? I’m having a problem with this missile…” 7. Nail Tech - so nails can be pretty complicated… 8. Remedy Engineer - aren’t those called “doctors”? 9. Saltlick Cashier - new trend in the equestrian industry. Ok,...

I have learned actually too much this week. Some things I'd rather not have learned. 1) In two weeks, I may or may not have a job. The CEO just issued a reduction in force and everyone will be on pins and needles until sometime in July. I could cry at the thought of not having a job and finding another one…well…with the unemployment rate here in California….might be a very difficult task. 2) When death comes knocking, it brings to loved ones a change of heart and attitude. 3) Old people get sports cars to drive slow in the fast lanes just to piss people off. 4) Instead of worrying about the ozone layer, we should be concentrating on bugs taking over the world. I swear there's a new species of bug called the splider. A fly and spider got busy and ta da…the splider. Spliders aren't easy to kill. 5) Pre-menopause is just nature's way of sticking his tongue out and saying, "Psych!" 6) There are still good, honest people here. My daughter and son in law left t...

It all started when I was a baby. I was attached to my twin sister from the womb. We were inseparable. We held hands from crib until about kindergarten and that was only because we were put in separate kindergarten classes. In the meantime, I grew attached to putting my two middle fingers in my mouth and sucking on them. My twin, sucked her thumb. Shortly after losing my teeth, my fingers just didn't taste good anymore. Then, I became attached to my teddy bear, Teddy Little Bear Franklin. I couldn't go to the bathrom, sleep or eat without him. The family went to Missouri, on vacation and as we drove out on the highway, headed for home, I realized I had left him in the bathroom. I cried hysterically. My dad said, "Forget it, we're too far out." My mom said, "She's not going to stop crying until she has that (dumb) bear." So, we drove back. The attachments to things have changed and grown since I've gotten older. For one, they don...

I was graciously tagged by Danica to list 6 Unimportant things about me. That shouldn't be too hard because most of the stuff that makes up me is...well...unimportant. 1) I drive a Lexus and years ago when my ex drove my car to work, was vandalized and inscribed "Don't F*** with me on the front hood. Although repainted, if you look closely, it is still there. Battle wounds from his cheating. 2) I have never worn fake nails. I have kept my fingernails long since I was in jr. high. 3) I lost my 4 front teeth when I was 3 years old, hanging upside down and fell face first on concrete. I was 8 when the teeth grew back in. It was horrible being an identical twin with no teeth. 4) My favorite flower is a freesia. I love the fragrance of them. 5) I sleep lightly and hear every noise in the house, including ants peeing. 6) I was in the delivery room when my sister's baby girl was born by her birth mom. My sister lived 3 1/2 hours away so I was the first person my beautiful ni...

Dear Jarebear, This is probably one of the hardest birthday wishes to you because no longer are you considered a teen. Maybe it seemed easier when you were a teen because I always knew that you'd need me still. I know, I know, you still need me but just not in the same way. Let's flash back to the very first time I heard you laugh. You had the greatest laugh that went from your belly and bubbled up into your heart. That laughter has sustained me in many ways. I think back to all of the tough things we've endured together. You were in a leg cast from the time you were 3 months old until you were 6 months old. Still, it never prevented you from trying to crawl. Even when you fell every time you ran, you continued to run. I still remember yelling, "Don't run!" then, "Oops, you're okay" after you bit the dust. You and your sister were the best of buds. Had it not been for you coming into our lives, she would've been extremely bored and wouldn...

Yesterday, I put on my renegade hat and rescued a friend. This friend doesn't speak any English but understands it well. He prefers his own dialect.I've watched this friend grow wiser, braver and tougher, yet, always keep a playful, funny outlook on life. He lives at the hospital where I work and those of us that have grown fond of him, watch out for him. Imagine the horror when I found that someone didn't appreciate his sense of humor and warm personality. They wanted Velvet Elvis to leave the premises and they were going to help him. I was shocked to find my furry friend in a trap, prepared to be hauled off to the animal shelter where he would be put to sleep. That person apparently didn't realize or understand the value of Velvet Elvis's friendship. I saw the look in Velvet Elvis's eye and I did the only thing a true friend would do. I crawled through the bushes, sprung the trap, told him, "Go! Go! Run Velvet Elvis, run!" He took one look at me and ...

I've learned much in my ripe age of 45. Just today I learned... 1. That as patient as I am, I still have a breaking point and when I get to that point, I'm hotter than a weenie at a weenie roast. 2. I don't tolerate stealing or dishonesty - AT ALL. I was at the store and saw some girls around 8 or 9 years old, taking toys out of their packages and putting them in their pockets. I looked around for the mom and the mom looked like she'd beat my A** and then some so I let it go but still... 3. Dr. Seuss was a rapper before his time. If he and Snoop Dog got together, they could've formed a rap duo and called it, Dr. Seup Doggy Dog. "I saw a red fish" "Naw, I saw a blue fish.." 4. Dogs DO eat homework and not only homework but bills that haven't been paid yet. 5. Wearing white pants is a natural attractant for oil, ketchup, mustard, dirt, chocolate and paint. 6. Prince has never been seen without facial makeup. I wonder why???? 7. In the '50...

So, I've tried many diets in my life. There was one that was most memorable. It was the One Day Diet. You eat sensibly one day and the next day, you drink shakes, water and eat tablets that taste like chalk flavored chocolate. I lost inches but because on those "non-eating days" I was burned out on the tablets, I chose to starve instead. I decided that dieting wasn't in my best interest. After all, why deprive myself of what I like - food, right? But, since that doesn't seem to be working, I've come up with a few diets of my own. The first is the "No Chew" diet. If you suck on lets say, french fries and then swallow them when they are soft and mushy, the calories won't stick. The main idea is to make sure that the piece of food is either very small or mushy. Think about it….babies don't chew and a majority of them aren't overweight, right? The next is, the Gross Out diet. That's the diet that is prepared and then eaten in fron of the ...

I'm backkkk! Moving sucks. I'm so sick and tired of packing and unpacking that the next time, I may seriously consider just purchasing a motorhome and wheeling my home from one place to another. I'm SO serious. So, all of you with long driveways, hit me up...we may need to talk. I decided to jump on the Top Ten Tuesday bandwagon. If you'd like to be a part, then you can say hi to Liz and grab a button here. Today's Top Tuesday is on Top Ten Dessert. 1. cheesecake - anything cheesecake 2. See's candy - I never met a nasty piece of See's that I didn't like 3. Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey and New York Super Fudge Chunk 4. Poppycock - I could eat a whole can or box of it. I will hide it so I won't have to share with Boo. (Shhhh....don't tell him.) 5. Caramel apples (homemade is the best). 6. Hot from the oven chocolate chip cookies 7. Chocolate covered bananas 8. Cherry Cream Cheese pie 9. Chocolate brownies, the chewier, gooier the better 10....